Started listening to Dale Carnegie's "How To Win Friends & Influence People" in a bid to jumpstart my goals for next year by finishing 2 non-fiction books a month. In the first chapter, Dale shared this letter written by Abraham Lincoln to Major General Meade after Meade disobeyed a direct order to attack General Lee (who was trapped by the overflowing Potomac River) and instead held a Council of War, allowing time for the river to recede and facilitate Lee's escape. By attacking/capturing Lee at this juncture in the war would have ended it 2 years early and possibly saved thousands of lives:
Executive Mansion,
Washington, July 14, 1863.
Major General Meade
I have just seen your despatch to Gen. Halleck, asking to be relieved of your command, because of a supposed censure of mine. I am very--very--grateful to you for the magnificent success you gave the cause of the country at Gettysburg; and I am sorry now to be the author of the slightest pain to you. But I was in such deep distress myself that I could not restrain some expression of it. I had been oppressed nearly ever since the battles at Gettysburg, by what appeared to be evidences that yourself, and Gen. Couch, and Gen. Smith, were not seeking a collision with the enemy, but were trying to get him across the river without another battle. What these evidences were, if you please, I hope to tell you at some time, when we shall both feel better. The case, summarily stated is this. You fought and beat the enemy at Gettysburg; and, of course, to say the least, his loss was as great as yours. He retreated; and you did not, as it seemed to me, pressingly pursue him; but a flood in the river detained him, till, by slow degrees, you were again upon him. You had at least twenty thousand veteran troops directly with you, and as many more raw ones within supporting distance, all in addition to those who fought with you at Gettysburg; while it was not possible that he had received a single recruit; and yet you stood and let the flood run down, bridges be built, and the enemy move away at his leisure, without attacking him. And Couch and Smith! The latter left Carlisle in time, upon all ordinary calculation, to have aided you in the last battle at Gettysburg; but he did not arrive. At the end of more than ten days, I believe twelve, under constant urging, he reached Hagerstown from Carlisle, which is not an inch over fifty-five miles, if so much. And Couch's movement was very little different.
Again, my dear general, I do not believe you appreciate the magnitude of the misfortune involved in Lee's escape. He was within your easy grasp, and to have closed upon him would, in connection with our other late successes, have ended the war. As it is, the war will be prolonged indefinitely. If you could not safely attack Lee last Monday, how can you possibly do so South of the river, when you can take with you very few more than two thirds of the force you then had in hand? It would be unreasonable to expect, and I do not expect you can now effect much. Your golden opportunity is gone, and I am distressed immeasurably because of it.
I beg you will not consider this a prosecution, or persecution of yourself As you had learned that I was dissatisfied, I have thought it best to kindly tell you why.
Abraham Lincoln
What was Meade's response? There was none. Lincoln never sent the letter, it was found among his personal papers after his death. Lincoln learned earlier in his life that negative criticism only leads to negative consequences, going so far as in one instance he was challenged to a duel for a particular scathing piece he wrote about a fellow which was printed in the local paper. He knew that by sending this letter he would only cause Meade to defend his actions, as well as cause disharmony among the troops, possibly even cause others to undermine his own leadership of the country.
Before we criticize others, we need to ask ourselves this question - "Will this comment build up or tear down?" and go from there...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
The Cycling Tour Aftermath...
Well, I am finally recovering from the cycling tour last Saturday. I am pleased to report that I was able to achieve my goals of both finishing the tour & completing it in under 2 hours. With the challenges that awaited me, those goals tasted much sweeter.
From the 9 miles uphill & into the wind (well not all of it was uphill) to the 3 miles of oiled gravel, it was a trek of endurance & tenacity. Not discouraged by comments made at the very beginning of the ride, I kept with it. The first obstacle I encountered was an almost vertical hill of which I had to get off the bike & walk up. A fellow cyclist happened to comment as he passed me, "Boy, that's not a good sign..."
Comments from other riders as I continued on the ride were more positive & encouraging which was a nice surprise. The second half of the ride I was met by a friend that supported me along the way & actually taught me a few things about my bike. I now know how & when to shift gears either up or down depending on the terrain. He was great and helped me to keep pace.
The aftermath was another story altogether. I ended up with two knees of jello, constant charlie-horses throughout the evening in both calves, & a massive pain in my lower back that put me out of commission for a while. I have since recovered and look forward to hopping back into the saddle on another tour soon.
I stretched myself, proved that I was capable, & had a good time doing it.
I highly suggest stretching yourself, you may not know how strong you really are!
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
From the 9 miles uphill & into the wind (well not all of it was uphill) to the 3 miles of oiled gravel, it was a trek of endurance & tenacity. Not discouraged by comments made at the very beginning of the ride, I kept with it. The first obstacle I encountered was an almost vertical hill of which I had to get off the bike & walk up. A fellow cyclist happened to comment as he passed me, "Boy, that's not a good sign..."
Comments from other riders as I continued on the ride were more positive & encouraging which was a nice surprise. The second half of the ride I was met by a friend that supported me along the way & actually taught me a few things about my bike. I now know how & when to shift gears either up or down depending on the terrain. He was great and helped me to keep pace.
The aftermath was another story altogether. I ended up with two knees of jello, constant charlie-horses throughout the evening in both calves, & a massive pain in my lower back that put me out of commission for a while. I have since recovered and look forward to hopping back into the saddle on another tour soon.
I stretched myself, proved that I was capable, & had a good time doing it.
I highly suggest stretching yourself, you may not know how strong you really are!
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Thursday, July 15, 2010
"Why me??" Moments
Earlier this week I had a "why me" moment worthy of a Charlie Brown cartoon. I went out riding my bike Monday morning, enjoying the ride until I hit some rough pavement. A little further down the road I noticed that I was feeling a little bit more of the road under my rear tire. Hopping off my bike I found that the tire was beginning to go flat. I was about 3 miles from home and only a couple of blocks from a gas station that thankfully had a free air hose. I thought I would try to hoof it to the gas station in the off-chance that the tire just needed air and that it wasn't popped.
I felt awkward as I walked my bike to the station, I had worn my usual riding gear sans sensible shoes. I figured I was going to take a quick spin and left the house in my crocs. It had rained the night before and of course several sections of sidewalk were missing due to construction. I almost fell a few times while traversing the muddy sections, I'm sure giving a good laugh to motorists passing by. Making it to the station & using the hose, the tire plumped up rather quickly but as I released it I noticed little air bubbles popping up from where the spokes meet the tire rim. Yep, it was popped.
Thanks to modern technology, most businesses no longer see the need or expense to maintain a public phone. The gas station didn't have one and neither did the grocery store across the parking lot. Not feeling I needed it, I neglected to bring our cellphone on my journey. What did I tell you? 3 miles from home with a flat tire & no means to call my wife to pick me up.
My mother-in-law works nearby and I thought she would have been to work by that time so I trudged to her office. Guess what? No such luck. Needless to say, I did walk my bike all the way home despite thoughts of stashing it in some woods & coming back for it with my car. I loaded up the bike, made it to work on-time(luckily) and later took it to the bike shop for repairs. While I was there, it was pointed out to me that the rear wheel was loose as well. Within 10 minutes I was up and running again with assurances that the rear wheel was tightened well and the offer to bring it back on Friday to double-check it.
What does this matter? You see on Saturday I am going on my first cycling tour, looping a total of 18 miles. If I didn't get that flat on Monday, I wouldn't have known about the loose rear wheel which could have spelled disaster on the tour.
In reality, this "why me" moment turned into a blessing. Looking through the bible there are tons of "why me" moments, the one person that really stands out is the story of Joseph. It seemed that he constantly fell into "why me" moments, but through all of those "why me" moments God used them to protect him & eventually saved him and the entire tribe of Israel.
Trust today that any "why me" moments you may be facing will eventually turn out for your good. You may not see it today or tomorrow, but trust me - you will receive the answer to your question "why me?"...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
I felt awkward as I walked my bike to the station, I had worn my usual riding gear sans sensible shoes. I figured I was going to take a quick spin and left the house in my crocs. It had rained the night before and of course several sections of sidewalk were missing due to construction. I almost fell a few times while traversing the muddy sections, I'm sure giving a good laugh to motorists passing by. Making it to the station & using the hose, the tire plumped up rather quickly but as I released it I noticed little air bubbles popping up from where the spokes meet the tire rim. Yep, it was popped.
Thanks to modern technology, most businesses no longer see the need or expense to maintain a public phone. The gas station didn't have one and neither did the grocery store across the parking lot. Not feeling I needed it, I neglected to bring our cellphone on my journey. What did I tell you? 3 miles from home with a flat tire & no means to call my wife to pick me up.
My mother-in-law works nearby and I thought she would have been to work by that time so I trudged to her office. Guess what? No such luck. Needless to say, I did walk my bike all the way home despite thoughts of stashing it in some woods & coming back for it with my car. I loaded up the bike, made it to work on-time(luckily) and later took it to the bike shop for repairs. While I was there, it was pointed out to me that the rear wheel was loose as well. Within 10 minutes I was up and running again with assurances that the rear wheel was tightened well and the offer to bring it back on Friday to double-check it.
What does this matter? You see on Saturday I am going on my first cycling tour, looping a total of 18 miles. If I didn't get that flat on Monday, I wouldn't have known about the loose rear wheel which could have spelled disaster on the tour.
In reality, this "why me" moment turned into a blessing. Looking through the bible there are tons of "why me" moments, the one person that really stands out is the story of Joseph. It seemed that he constantly fell into "why me" moments, but through all of those "why me" moments God used them to protect him & eventually saved him and the entire tribe of Israel.
Trust today that any "why me" moments you may be facing will eventually turn out for your good. You may not see it today or tomorrow, but trust me - you will receive the answer to your question "why me?"...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
Over-Doing Things...
This morning as I was getting ready for work I happened to be watching GMA and there was a news piece on heat stroke & keeping hydrated during the heat of summer. The big news stories revolved around the eastern states getting hit with a huge heat wave, NYC clocking in at 102 degrees on average & Newark, NJ breaking a record at 104 degrees. There was a doctor on the program talking about the importance of staying hydrated and went so far as to tell people to look at their urine when using the restroom as a tell-tale sign of being dehydrated. She mentioned that a dark-colored urine indicates dehydration and that people want to see a pale yellow color. She also stated that a light yellow or clear urine is symptomatic of over-hydration.
That piqued my interest. Over-hydration. Who knew that you can drink too much water for your body not to function properly. Now I have heard & read about water intoxication where people have imbibed so much water as to cause a "drunkeness-like" state, but never have I heard of over-hydration before. I guess it makes sense, taking or doing too much of anything can become a bad thing despite old wives tales & grandmotherly-type advice.
Reminds me of a story a friend of mine told me about some cyclist he knew. The guy was an avid cyclist, I mean he had the special shoes, the lycra outfits, the expensive bike, he might have been a big racer. My friend told me that he had been hanging out with they guy at the local cycle shop when he pulled a huge plastic bag of pills from his pack. The friend told me it had to have weighed at least a pound by the look of it. Vitamins, extracts, supplements of all sorts - the guy told my friend as he proceeded to down each and every pill in the bag.My friend was dumbfounded. The guy sat there and swallowed a pound of pills one after another. Over-doing it? I would have to point to 'yes' on that one.
I've heard and read articles on over-doing it with had sanitizer and how it's unhealthy to constantly use it because it doesn't allow our immune systems to battle smaller germs and become more developed. I think of the story of Howie Mandel and how his mother & grandmother had a hand in his OCD/germaphobia by being super-neat & clean all the time. He said that his grandmother used to wax & polish her front steps, CONCRETE front steps! Over-doing it? quite possibly.
I've been the "victim" of over-eating, although I really can't say victim since I personally made the choice to eat more than I needed. In talking with a client of mine that is an avid runner & cyclist, we had a conversation about how much has changed as far as portion sizes from the 1950's to today. Our dinner plate diameters have gone from 9 inches to 12 inches, she mentioned a friend had moved into a home from the 1950's and couldn't understand at first why her dishes & cups would not fit in the cabinets. She realized that the cabinets were built for smaller plates & cups. "Super-Size It" has become the norm.
It's hard sometimes to find a happy medium. We are often swinging from one extreme to the other by being stingy with our time or finances to giving it all away. I realize I need to find a balance in all areas of my life if I want to grow & mature. One of those things is definitely hydration, finding a balance in my fluid intake. That may be the cause of some issues in my weight loss journey. The symptoms are there, time to scale back a bit and see what happens...
Yes, Virginia, you can have too much of a good thing...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
That piqued my interest. Over-hydration. Who knew that you can drink too much water for your body not to function properly. Now I have heard & read about water intoxication where people have imbibed so much water as to cause a "drunkeness-like" state, but never have I heard of over-hydration before. I guess it makes sense, taking or doing too much of anything can become a bad thing despite old wives tales & grandmotherly-type advice.
Reminds me of a story a friend of mine told me about some cyclist he knew. The guy was an avid cyclist, I mean he had the special shoes, the lycra outfits, the expensive bike, he might have been a big racer. My friend told me that he had been hanging out with they guy at the local cycle shop when he pulled a huge plastic bag of pills from his pack. The friend told me it had to have weighed at least a pound by the look of it. Vitamins, extracts, supplements of all sorts - the guy told my friend as he proceeded to down each and every pill in the bag.My friend was dumbfounded. The guy sat there and swallowed a pound of pills one after another. Over-doing it? I would have to point to 'yes' on that one.
I've heard and read articles on over-doing it with had sanitizer and how it's unhealthy to constantly use it because it doesn't allow our immune systems to battle smaller germs and become more developed. I think of the story of Howie Mandel and how his mother & grandmother had a hand in his OCD/germaphobia by being super-neat & clean all the time. He said that his grandmother used to wax & polish her front steps, CONCRETE front steps! Over-doing it? quite possibly.
I've been the "victim" of over-eating, although I really can't say victim since I personally made the choice to eat more than I needed. In talking with a client of mine that is an avid runner & cyclist, we had a conversation about how much has changed as far as portion sizes from the 1950's to today. Our dinner plate diameters have gone from 9 inches to 12 inches, she mentioned a friend had moved into a home from the 1950's and couldn't understand at first why her dishes & cups would not fit in the cabinets. She realized that the cabinets were built for smaller plates & cups. "Super-Size It" has become the norm.
It's hard sometimes to find a happy medium. We are often swinging from one extreme to the other by being stingy with our time or finances to giving it all away. I realize I need to find a balance in all areas of my life if I want to grow & mature. One of those things is definitely hydration, finding a balance in my fluid intake. That may be the cause of some issues in my weight loss journey. The symptoms are there, time to scale back a bit and see what happens...
Yes, Virginia, you can have too much of a good thing...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
"I'm looking through you..."
"And you're nowhere..." - The Beatles, "I'm Looking Through You"
I was told a story yesterday that seemed a lot like a Twilight Zone episode from the 1980's that I had seen. Someone I know had been at the library and saw someone they knew. But instead of saying "hi" or acknowledging their presence, the person walked right by as if they didn't recognize them. I asked if they had seen eachother, sometimes I can be oblivious to those around me if I am engrossed in a thought or determined to get somewhere. Nope, apparently they had even locked eyes at one point. No mistake, the "cold shoulder" was deliberate. Funny thing is, these two had been close for a time until this person became distant & stand-offish all of a sudden.
The episode was entitled, "To See The Invisible Man", all about a man accused of being cold to his fellow man & sentenced to a year of "invisibility". He was marked and all citizens were to avoid contact with the marked, pretending they were invisible. The man made it the year and realized how cold & heartless the punishment was, the episode ended with the man comforting a "marked" woman as robot police drones surrounded them.
My devotion today also had something to do with ignoring people. A homeless man was found outside a church on a Sunday, all the parishoners went into the church without talking to the man or inviting him inside. A short time later, the homeless man took the pulpit & revealed himself to be the pastor of the church. He went on to preach a sermon on loving & reaching out to others.
I've been snubbed before. I've called people on it. I tell you nothing makes you feel more worthless than to be ignored or snubbed. It's as if you are not important enough for others to acknowledge your presence or worth their time to say a simple hello or nod or wave. Most of those that I had called on the snubbing back-pedaled quickly and felt really awkward about it. Hmmm, why would that be?
We are called to love each other, help each other, raise each other up. You may be mad at me, that's fine. You may not like me, that's fine too. But for goodness sake, give a little respect to others if you see them. A two second hello, however trite, is better than totally ignoring them. Are we in grade school? Really? Seriously?
I found this passage:
"If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?" - 1 John 4:20, NLT
Hate is a strong word but I count deliberately ignoring someone as a form of hate, I don't know about you...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
PS - sorry for the silence in posts, had been getting ready for vacation & other life events...
I was told a story yesterday that seemed a lot like a Twilight Zone episode from the 1980's that I had seen. Someone I know had been at the library and saw someone they knew. But instead of saying "hi" or acknowledging their presence, the person walked right by as if they didn't recognize them. I asked if they had seen eachother, sometimes I can be oblivious to those around me if I am engrossed in a thought or determined to get somewhere. Nope, apparently they had even locked eyes at one point. No mistake, the "cold shoulder" was deliberate. Funny thing is, these two had been close for a time until this person became distant & stand-offish all of a sudden.
The episode was entitled, "To See The Invisible Man", all about a man accused of being cold to his fellow man & sentenced to a year of "invisibility". He was marked and all citizens were to avoid contact with the marked, pretending they were invisible. The man made it the year and realized how cold & heartless the punishment was, the episode ended with the man comforting a "marked" woman as robot police drones surrounded them.
My devotion today also had something to do with ignoring people. A homeless man was found outside a church on a Sunday, all the parishoners went into the church without talking to the man or inviting him inside. A short time later, the homeless man took the pulpit & revealed himself to be the pastor of the church. He went on to preach a sermon on loving & reaching out to others.
I've been snubbed before. I've called people on it. I tell you nothing makes you feel more worthless than to be ignored or snubbed. It's as if you are not important enough for others to acknowledge your presence or worth their time to say a simple hello or nod or wave. Most of those that I had called on the snubbing back-pedaled quickly and felt really awkward about it. Hmmm, why would that be?
We are called to love each other, help each other, raise each other up. You may be mad at me, that's fine. You may not like me, that's fine too. But for goodness sake, give a little respect to others if you see them. A two second hello, however trite, is better than totally ignoring them. Are we in grade school? Really? Seriously?
I found this passage:
"If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?" - 1 John 4:20, NLT
Hate is a strong word but I count deliberately ignoring someone as a form of hate, I don't know about you...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
PS - sorry for the silence in posts, had been getting ready for vacation & other life events...
Friday, May 28, 2010
Running right to the negative...
I have faith and I share that faith from time to time. If you're not into it, that's fine - I respect that. Faith has gotten me through some pretty rough patches in my life. Faith has grown me as I continue to realize that I cannot do it all myself. And yet after seeing what faith can do time & time again I find myself oftentimes running right to the negative when problems arise. Last night was not exception except that I changed my attitude when I realized what I was doing.
Yesterday was a scorcher (well a scorcher in this neck of the woods) for May. We topped out at 91 degrees with I thought 60% humidity, which makes the hot temperatures feel even hotter. Taking a walk for over an hour at lunch, I came back to the office with a completely soaked shirt & a bad case of "indian underwear". I had planned on getting some yardwork done since I couldn't let the lawn get any longer. Playing hooky from my home responsibilities this weekend caught up with me. Getting home, I changed the furnace filter & closed up the house (which by this time had climbed to 84 degrees indoors). Flipping on the central air unit, I felt the flood of cold air begin to flow out of the kitchen vent. Changing my clothes & grabbing my iPod, I prepared to tackle the lawn when all of a sudden 'snap!' the power went out.
Having been through this a couple of times (living in an older home it happens), I checked the breakers. Nothing. I flipped each individual breaker off and back on. Nothing. I flipped all the breakers off, including the main, and systematically flipped each breaker trying to pinpoint the problem. Nothing. By this time I was hot, tired, & frustrated. I told Bren to pack a bag for all of us and call the electrician and make an appointment for the next day (I wasn't about to pay a $150 emergency service call fee). I also told her to pack whatever frozen items we could to salvage because there was no guarantee that they would stay frozen overnight.
I headed out to do the lawn, defeat began to run through my mind as I thought of using up our vacation funds to pay for repairs. After the second mower bag was dumped, I had realized what I was doing. I was running to the negative in this situation, not even sure of the actual cause or cost to repair the problem. Once I realized that, I changed my attitude. I began to pray & give thanks for the vacation money to fix the electrical problem. I gave thanks for having in-laws that live in the next town who have room for us, central air, & a deep freezer for the meat & other items we needed to save from the freezer. I put my faith & trust into this situation working out to my good. I turned from the negative & walked into faith.
Just a moment I had finished praying, I looked over and saw a public works bucket truck turn the corner near my house. That sparked a thought, so I had Bren call the power plant in the off-chance that the entire block was experiencing an outtage. Bren stopped me while I continued to mow and said that there was an outtage in the area and a crew was out to rectify the problem. I recalled a similar incident last year during a thunderstorm, our block's power had gone out because of a faulty transformer. I guess in the situation last night we found out what happens when everyone on the block turns on their central air at the same time.
I told Bren to cancel the electrician appointment & I finished the lawn while continuing to give thanks for the result of the situation. When things in life happen, we can make a choice even when we think there is no choice. We can choose to run right to the negative, or we can choose to change our attitude & have faith.
How do you start the day? Do you look at the 'gloom & doom' on the news or do you begin your day with thanks & faith?
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Yesterday was a scorcher (well a scorcher in this neck of the woods) for May. We topped out at 91 degrees with I thought 60% humidity, which makes the hot temperatures feel even hotter. Taking a walk for over an hour at lunch, I came back to the office with a completely soaked shirt & a bad case of "indian underwear". I had planned on getting some yardwork done since I couldn't let the lawn get any longer. Playing hooky from my home responsibilities this weekend caught up with me. Getting home, I changed the furnace filter & closed up the house (which by this time had climbed to 84 degrees indoors). Flipping on the central air unit, I felt the flood of cold air begin to flow out of the kitchen vent. Changing my clothes & grabbing my iPod, I prepared to tackle the lawn when all of a sudden 'snap!' the power went out.
Having been through this a couple of times (living in an older home it happens), I checked the breakers. Nothing. I flipped each individual breaker off and back on. Nothing. I flipped all the breakers off, including the main, and systematically flipped each breaker trying to pinpoint the problem. Nothing. By this time I was hot, tired, & frustrated. I told Bren to pack a bag for all of us and call the electrician and make an appointment for the next day (I wasn't about to pay a $150 emergency service call fee). I also told her to pack whatever frozen items we could to salvage because there was no guarantee that they would stay frozen overnight.
I headed out to do the lawn, defeat began to run through my mind as I thought of using up our vacation funds to pay for repairs. After the second mower bag was dumped, I had realized what I was doing. I was running to the negative in this situation, not even sure of the actual cause or cost to repair the problem. Once I realized that, I changed my attitude. I began to pray & give thanks for the vacation money to fix the electrical problem. I gave thanks for having in-laws that live in the next town who have room for us, central air, & a deep freezer for the meat & other items we needed to save from the freezer. I put my faith & trust into this situation working out to my good. I turned from the negative & walked into faith.
Just a moment I had finished praying, I looked over and saw a public works bucket truck turn the corner near my house. That sparked a thought, so I had Bren call the power plant in the off-chance that the entire block was experiencing an outtage. Bren stopped me while I continued to mow and said that there was an outtage in the area and a crew was out to rectify the problem. I recalled a similar incident last year during a thunderstorm, our block's power had gone out because of a faulty transformer. I guess in the situation last night we found out what happens when everyone on the block turns on their central air at the same time.
I told Bren to cancel the electrician appointment & I finished the lawn while continuing to give thanks for the result of the situation. When things in life happen, we can make a choice even when we think there is no choice. We can choose to run right to the negative, or we can choose to change our attitude & have faith.
How do you start the day? Do you look at the 'gloom & doom' on the news or do you begin your day with thanks & faith?
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Lost shoes & road pennies
One thing that I find more often on my walks than anything else are shoes. One lone shoe lying on the side of the road or off to one side of a sidewalk. Some are name brand (Nike, Reebok, etc.) & some are generic/non-descript. I have seen some in excellent condition & yet have seen some that were nearing their expiration. And I wonder about those lost shoes. Where did they come from? What was the owner like? Does the owner realize their shoe is missing?
Sometimes we may feel like those lost shoes, discarded, uncared-for, forgotten. Situations in life can bring us down, thoughts of failure & disappointment cloud our minds.
Another thing I find often on my walks are "road pennies", so-named because they are found on the road! I get a little giddy when I find them, not for their monetary value but rather for their characteristics. These coins are abused, scratched, barely worth redemption for their value. The one I found today takes the cake, it was so scratched that the zinc core has been exposed along the edges of the coin. Looking over the small collection at my desk, the only one in worse shape looks as though something took bites out of the coin.
I cherish each and every one of them. Some may say "why bother?" and see them as ugly & worthless. I see them as unique & in a way beautiful because of their scars & defects.
I should carry one of them on a chain as a reminder when I'm feeling down or a little depressed. A reminder of Someone who accepts, loves, & cherishes us despite our defects. I think you have an idea of who that might be...
"But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners." - Ro 5:8, NLT
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Sometimes we may feel like those lost shoes, discarded, uncared-for, forgotten. Situations in life can bring us down, thoughts of failure & disappointment cloud our minds.
Another thing I find often on my walks are "road pennies", so-named because they are found on the road! I get a little giddy when I find them, not for their monetary value but rather for their characteristics. These coins are abused, scratched, barely worth redemption for their value. The one I found today takes the cake, it was so scratched that the zinc core has been exposed along the edges of the coin. Looking over the small collection at my desk, the only one in worse shape looks as though something took bites out of the coin.
I cherish each and every one of them. Some may say "why bother?" and see them as ugly & worthless. I see them as unique & in a way beautiful because of their scars & defects.
I should carry one of them on a chain as a reminder when I'm feeling down or a little depressed. A reminder of Someone who accepts, loves, & cherishes us despite our defects. I think you have an idea of who that might be...
"But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners." - Ro 5:8, NLT
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Sunday, May 16, 2010
The uphill battles we face...
This week in both my podcast & on my web show I discussed a topic brought on by someone I've come to admire (and became my FB friend, for what it's worth), Erik Chopin. For those that may not know who he is, he was the 3rd season winner of the television program, "The Biggest Loser", losing a whopping 214lbs which I believe is a first for the program (a contestant losing over 200lbs).
After winning, within 2 years he had gained back all of the weight he lost. He said that he just began to lose focus. The hoopla of winning died down & he began to rest on his laurels. Then the "passes" began to show up more frequently. "Passes" included allowances for over-eating ("Oh, I'll just train for an extra hour at the gym this week"), for not exercising, & finally for gaining weight ("I gained 4lbs? No prob, I'll bang them off next week!"). It got to a point where the passes overtook him and he could not cash the checks his mind had written. Falling into depression & old habits, he stopped going to the gym out of embarrassment, and after 2 years he had lost - he had gained all the weight back. Everything he had worked so hard for, the progress he had made, the inspiration he had given others was gone.
He's thankfully working his way back and warned the current contestants of his downfalls. It was hard enough to lose the weight the first time and he mentioned that it seems even harder the second time. Every day is an uphill battle. Having to lose weight in the "real world" is a lot different than losing it in seclusion on a television program.
Another couple of friends of mine that you might remember, Matt Hoover & Suzy Preston Hoover, were previous winners on the television program "The Biggest Loser" as well. Both of them have also fallen victim to the "passes" mentality but not to the degree of Eric. In his book, Matt talks about letting himself go and gaining back 80lbs & feeling like a hypocrite since he had based his business on inspiring people to lose weight but he himself was gaining it back. Both he & Suzy are on their way back, Matt has been training to do triathlons & even an Ironman competition in Hawaii. But for them as well, every day is an uphill battle.
I face my own uphill battles everyday. Some days I conquer them, some days I have defeat but rise again to fight them the next. Yesterday I faced a literal & figurative uphill battle on my bike. Literal in the sense that near my home there is a rather large "stepped" hill that had beaten me once already on my bike. I got 3/4 of the way up and had to get off the bike & walk because it seemed so difficult to keep going. Figurative in the sense that as I approached the hill my mind was filled with negative & self-defeating thoughts, telling me that I should just give up 3/4 of the way up like last time & try it again some other day.
The thoughts became louder & more pronounced as I began to climb the hill, deep down inside I knew if I stopped where I did last time that it would be my brick wall or glass ceiling. It would be the point that I would always think was the spot where I could make it and no farther. I pushed myself & the bike as hard as I could, each "step" slowing my progress even further. But I crept on, looking I'm sure like I was traveling in slow-motion. Cars passing me, people gawking, but I continued undaunted.
With the last revolutions of my pedals I had reached the top. Taking a brief moment to look back at my triumph, I pedaled home with a wide smile on my face. I pulled into my driveway exhausted & high off of the victory. That battle was won, that mental roadblock defeated.
Some days are full of battles, some we win & some we lose... Ultimately when we wake up each morning to fight again, we've already won.
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
After winning, within 2 years he had gained back all of the weight he lost. He said that he just began to lose focus. The hoopla of winning died down & he began to rest on his laurels. Then the "passes" began to show up more frequently. "Passes" included allowances for over-eating ("Oh, I'll just train for an extra hour at the gym this week"), for not exercising, & finally for gaining weight ("I gained 4lbs? No prob, I'll bang them off next week!"). It got to a point where the passes overtook him and he could not cash the checks his mind had written. Falling into depression & old habits, he stopped going to the gym out of embarrassment, and after 2 years he had lost - he had gained all the weight back. Everything he had worked so hard for, the progress he had made, the inspiration he had given others was gone.
He's thankfully working his way back and warned the current contestants of his downfalls. It was hard enough to lose the weight the first time and he mentioned that it seems even harder the second time. Every day is an uphill battle. Having to lose weight in the "real world" is a lot different than losing it in seclusion on a television program.
Another couple of friends of mine that you might remember, Matt Hoover & Suzy Preston Hoover, were previous winners on the television program "The Biggest Loser" as well. Both of them have also fallen victim to the "passes" mentality but not to the degree of Eric. In his book, Matt talks about letting himself go and gaining back 80lbs & feeling like a hypocrite since he had based his business on inspiring people to lose weight but he himself was gaining it back. Both he & Suzy are on their way back, Matt has been training to do triathlons & even an Ironman competition in Hawaii. But for them as well, every day is an uphill battle.
I face my own uphill battles everyday. Some days I conquer them, some days I have defeat but rise again to fight them the next. Yesterday I faced a literal & figurative uphill battle on my bike. Literal in the sense that near my home there is a rather large "stepped" hill that had beaten me once already on my bike. I got 3/4 of the way up and had to get off the bike & walk because it seemed so difficult to keep going. Figurative in the sense that as I approached the hill my mind was filled with negative & self-defeating thoughts, telling me that I should just give up 3/4 of the way up like last time & try it again some other day.
The thoughts became louder & more pronounced as I began to climb the hill, deep down inside I knew if I stopped where I did last time that it would be my brick wall or glass ceiling. It would be the point that I would always think was the spot where I could make it and no farther. I pushed myself & the bike as hard as I could, each "step" slowing my progress even further. But I crept on, looking I'm sure like I was traveling in slow-motion. Cars passing me, people gawking, but I continued undaunted.
With the last revolutions of my pedals I had reached the top. Taking a brief moment to look back at my triumph, I pedaled home with a wide smile on my face. I pulled into my driveway exhausted & high off of the victory. That battle was won, that mental roadblock defeated.
Some days are full of battles, some we win & some we lose... Ultimately when we wake up each morning to fight again, we've already won.
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Thursday, April 29, 2010
The Bike Experiment Results...
I wasn't sure if I had the gumption to go through with the experiment, I had talked about it for years but never went any further than that. Deep down I wonder if I didn't really think it was possible, that I was in a way limiting myself in an effort to "stay comfortable & familiar". For one reason or another (mainly some inspiration from a couple of friends of mine), I dug out the bike and gave it a whirl. That first ride was rough, literally, as I had gone 3.5mi on semi-flat tires (unbeknownst to me at the time). My discouragement on that ride was palpable, I could feel it seething inside me. Realizing the error when I got back home, the next day's ride was much smoother with proper tire inflation. I was actually excited.
Trying different routes, stretching myself, I was dumbfounded one Saturday to find that I had ridden almost 6mi and felt no real exhaustion. The dream of biking to work became much more real that day. Pushing myself further, I set a goal of riding to work by the end of May - with a practice run or two on a couple of weekends to test the terrain & time myself. The excitement mounted further.
And then it happened. I took myself further than I had ever gone one morning on my bike. The wind was fierce & howling, the temperature super-cold, but I continued despite thoughts of turning around. Fighting against the wind, each foot struggling to make its revolution, I slowly made progress. Making it home in one exhausted piece, I checked my route and there it was. The magic number. 7.25mi. And the timing was reasonable (reasonable for me, anyway) at around 45min. Thus I made my preparations.
I had seen the route I was to take many times from the road, but I had never noticed any problems or concerns. Giving myself a solid hour, I figure that was enough time for any unforeseen trouble or traffic. Letting my boss know what I was undertaking and giving him a copy of the route and my expected time of arrival, I set about getting my gear together.
Since I had a black backpack, I covered it in a white, sleeveless t-shirt for better visibility by motorists I might encounter. The helmet was fitted (just a hair too tight), shoelaces & pantlegs were checked for possible snagging problems. Loading up my pack, it felt rather heavy and I had not thought about it when I originally made plans. I forgot to include 10-15lbs of extra weight from my pack (my gallon of tea, water bottle of ice, lunch, & other necessities for work). I hemmed & hawed, almost giving up. But I pressed on.
Taking residential streets to the route I needed to get on to travel to work was fairly uneventful. That was, until I encountered the hill. Keeping my hands on the brakes, I coasted down the hill faster & faster, all the while hoping & praying that the light would change in my favor when I reached the bottom. It did. I noticed quite a bit as I traveled on that route. The piles of debris on the route, the dead animals (including a deer), the "puckers" in the asphalt - spherical bubbles that created somewhat of a hazard for bikers & rollerbladers.
The intersections were my main concern but turned out fine (on the way to work), the pack on my back began to twinge a little half way through the ride. I tried to readjust the pack using my shoulders which helped a little. Before I knew it, I had made it to the bridge. Only one more mile to go & well within my ETA. I parked the bike, took off my helm, and plopped down at my desk. Taking deep breaths & trying to slow my heart rate, I basked in the glow of accomplishment. I had done it. Half of the experiment was complete. The other half was yet to come and feelings of self-doubt began to creep into my conscious - "You made it to work, but do you really think after sitting at a desk all day you have the energy to ride the 7+ miles home?" Those thoughts persisted, even after taking a nice bike ride at lunch to visit all the old places I used to bike as a kid.
The ride home began simple enough, the lights were with me & I found myself getting a little more comfortable and actually really enjoying the ride. Allowances for more coasting became prevalent since I did have to get home, it wasn't an emergency. But then the near-misses started. I learned quickly that people in cars are in more of a hurry to get home from work than they are going to work. And it wasn't at the intersections, it was in the driveways & entrances to businesses. People wanting to turn right were looking left, paying no attention to anything happening on their right. Quick flicks of the handbrakes kept me from becoming a hood ornament a few times, with sheepish grins, shrugged shoulders, and mouthed "Sorry" coming from the drivers.
Then the hill. It was fun (and a bit hairy) going down it on the way to work, but looked almost like a mountain to me on my way back. The hill is "stepped", meaning that it's not a smooth hill but rather a series of smaller hills as they wind up to the top. Think of photos of the Loch Ness monster with her humps coming out of the water, and that's kind of what it felt like. You don't notice it when riding in a car, nor did I notice it riding down the hill. I pedaled & pedaled, my thighs burning, sweat accumulating in my eyes. I got almost 3/4 of the way up the hill and had to stop. The hill had beaten me. But I survived and will come back to battle again.
Making my way through the familar neighborhoods, I saw it in the distance. My home! Pulling into my driveway, I gave thanks for the protection and for the strength that got me safely through. Almost 20 miles (to/from work plus my lunchtime ride) on that bike and it felt great. Looking forward to doing it at least once a week.
The Aftermath:
I had cramps galore in my right thigh last night, it's still pretty sore today. I have pant-rash on my stomach from the sweat & constant rubbing while pedaling. A little ache in the back, nothing major. Will this deter me from doing it again? Well, I could have biked today but thought better of it. Let the muscles rest & "knit" themselves back together, they've had quite a workout and were stretched to their limits.
I look forward to biking again tomorrow, although not to work but around the neighborhood...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Trying different routes, stretching myself, I was dumbfounded one Saturday to find that I had ridden almost 6mi and felt no real exhaustion. The dream of biking to work became much more real that day. Pushing myself further, I set a goal of riding to work by the end of May - with a practice run or two on a couple of weekends to test the terrain & time myself. The excitement mounted further.
And then it happened. I took myself further than I had ever gone one morning on my bike. The wind was fierce & howling, the temperature super-cold, but I continued despite thoughts of turning around. Fighting against the wind, each foot struggling to make its revolution, I slowly made progress. Making it home in one exhausted piece, I checked my route and there it was. The magic number. 7.25mi. And the timing was reasonable (reasonable for me, anyway) at around 45min. Thus I made my preparations.
I had seen the route I was to take many times from the road, but I had never noticed any problems or concerns. Giving myself a solid hour, I figure that was enough time for any unforeseen trouble or traffic. Letting my boss know what I was undertaking and giving him a copy of the route and my expected time of arrival, I set about getting my gear together.
Since I had a black backpack, I covered it in a white, sleeveless t-shirt for better visibility by motorists I might encounter. The helmet was fitted (just a hair too tight), shoelaces & pantlegs were checked for possible snagging problems. Loading up my pack, it felt rather heavy and I had not thought about it when I originally made plans. I forgot to include 10-15lbs of extra weight from my pack (my gallon of tea, water bottle of ice, lunch, & other necessities for work). I hemmed & hawed, almost giving up. But I pressed on.
Taking residential streets to the route I needed to get on to travel to work was fairly uneventful. That was, until I encountered the hill. Keeping my hands on the brakes, I coasted down the hill faster & faster, all the while hoping & praying that the light would change in my favor when I reached the bottom. It did. I noticed quite a bit as I traveled on that route. The piles of debris on the route, the dead animals (including a deer), the "puckers" in the asphalt - spherical bubbles that created somewhat of a hazard for bikers & rollerbladers.
The intersections were my main concern but turned out fine (on the way to work), the pack on my back began to twinge a little half way through the ride. I tried to readjust the pack using my shoulders which helped a little. Before I knew it, I had made it to the bridge. Only one more mile to go & well within my ETA. I parked the bike, took off my helm, and plopped down at my desk. Taking deep breaths & trying to slow my heart rate, I basked in the glow of accomplishment. I had done it. Half of the experiment was complete. The other half was yet to come and feelings of self-doubt began to creep into my conscious - "You made it to work, but do you really think after sitting at a desk all day you have the energy to ride the 7+ miles home?" Those thoughts persisted, even after taking a nice bike ride at lunch to visit all the old places I used to bike as a kid.
The ride home began simple enough, the lights were with me & I found myself getting a little more comfortable and actually really enjoying the ride. Allowances for more coasting became prevalent since I did have to get home, it wasn't an emergency. But then the near-misses started. I learned quickly that people in cars are in more of a hurry to get home from work than they are going to work. And it wasn't at the intersections, it was in the driveways & entrances to businesses. People wanting to turn right were looking left, paying no attention to anything happening on their right. Quick flicks of the handbrakes kept me from becoming a hood ornament a few times, with sheepish grins, shrugged shoulders, and mouthed "Sorry" coming from the drivers.
Then the hill. It was fun (and a bit hairy) going down it on the way to work, but looked almost like a mountain to me on my way back. The hill is "stepped", meaning that it's not a smooth hill but rather a series of smaller hills as they wind up to the top. Think of photos of the Loch Ness monster with her humps coming out of the water, and that's kind of what it felt like. You don't notice it when riding in a car, nor did I notice it riding down the hill. I pedaled & pedaled, my thighs burning, sweat accumulating in my eyes. I got almost 3/4 of the way up the hill and had to stop. The hill had beaten me. But I survived and will come back to battle again.
Making my way through the familar neighborhoods, I saw it in the distance. My home! Pulling into my driveway, I gave thanks for the protection and for the strength that got me safely through. Almost 20 miles (to/from work plus my lunchtime ride) on that bike and it felt great. Looking forward to doing it at least once a week.
The Aftermath:
I had cramps galore in my right thigh last night, it's still pretty sore today. I have pant-rash on my stomach from the sweat & constant rubbing while pedaling. A little ache in the back, nothing major. Will this deter me from doing it again? Well, I could have biked today but thought better of it. Let the muscles rest & "knit" themselves back together, they've had quite a workout and were stretched to their limits.
I look forward to biking again tomorrow, although not to work but around the neighborhood...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Friday, April 16, 2010
Don't Acknowledge The Cues...
Ever know someone that has to be "in the know" about everyone & everything going on in their lives? Someone who picks up the paper to turn to the obits or surfs over to the news site to see what tragedies occurred overnight? Maybe someone that religiously visits people's personal websites and comments out loud the stories or content of those sites? "Living vicariously" through other people's experiences & tragedies in order to gain their own sad form of attention.
I know several people like that, the hard thing is not to feed into the cycle. Piss poor attitudes trickle down, gloom & doom is contagious if you allow it a foothold. Feeding into the cycle not only gives it a foothold, but often opens a floodgate that can bog down your very soul. It's hard, so hard sometimes not to "acknowledge the cues" that trips the wire of gloom & doom.
The cues can take any form from visual cues (hunched shoulders, forlorn look on the face) to verbal cues (a heavy sigh, an aloud "oh,no", or the real trap an "honest" question about something). Lately I've been tracking the cues people have been giving me and evaluating them. After evaluating them I've been able to find ways to avoid interacting with them. The sighs go unnoticed, the aloud comments go uncommented on, the answers to questions are met with either a short answer or an "I don't know".
Sometimes the worst situations are the ones where you are in a small group and 2 "doom & gloomers" have a "gloom-off", trying to outdo eachother in personal tragedies. A sad, sad pissing contest on who is in need of more sympathy. I have been in the middle of some of the spectacles and let me tell you, the grip of despair & questioning your own life's well-being becomes very strong. It's times like that when you need to turn to God & thank Him. I find strength in a few bible verses when I begin to question my own life's situation:
" For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me." Jer 29:11-13, NLT
"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Ro 8:28, NLT
"For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." Phil 4:13, NLT
My thought for the day? Don't acknowledge the cues, but acknowledge & give thanks to Him that loves you & wants to prosper you...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
I know several people like that, the hard thing is not to feed into the cycle. Piss poor attitudes trickle down, gloom & doom is contagious if you allow it a foothold. Feeding into the cycle not only gives it a foothold, but often opens a floodgate that can bog down your very soul. It's hard, so hard sometimes not to "acknowledge the cues" that trips the wire of gloom & doom.
The cues can take any form from visual cues (hunched shoulders, forlorn look on the face) to verbal cues (a heavy sigh, an aloud "oh,no", or the real trap an "honest" question about something). Lately I've been tracking the cues people have been giving me and evaluating them. After evaluating them I've been able to find ways to avoid interacting with them. The sighs go unnoticed, the aloud comments go uncommented on, the answers to questions are met with either a short answer or an "I don't know".
Sometimes the worst situations are the ones where you are in a small group and 2 "doom & gloomers" have a "gloom-off", trying to outdo eachother in personal tragedies. A sad, sad pissing contest on who is in need of more sympathy. I have been in the middle of some of the spectacles and let me tell you, the grip of despair & questioning your own life's well-being becomes very strong. It's times like that when you need to turn to God & thank Him. I find strength in a few bible verses when I begin to question my own life's situation:
" For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me." Jer 29:11-13, NLT
"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Ro 8:28, NLT
"For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." Phil 4:13, NLT
My thought for the day? Don't acknowledge the cues, but acknowledge & give thanks to Him that loves you & wants to prosper you...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Inevitable...
This morning as I was pulling out of the driveway I noticed this woman walking her dog. Now I have seen her for years walking the same dog, but much earlier in the morning. I used to pass her when out on my early morning runs, at that time I think she was working as a school teacher because I noticed her wearing school staff clothing from time to time. But this morning I noticed something different besides her walking at a later time in the morning, she was walking with a cane.
And that's when I had a sobering thought, aging is inevitable - no matter the facelifts, miracle drugs, or whatever, getting older cannot be stopped. Thinking about that woman & her cane, I felt a little pity for her but more than that I was encouraged by her. Refusing to let an infirmity interfere with something she enjoys - walking her dog. I know people that have let infirmities, bad choices, & everyday life events keep them from living life. Falling into a downward spiral of pity or self-loathing, digging deeper & deeper into the rut they're in (Life Coach Dan Miller calls a rut, "a grave with the ends kicked out").
My mindtrack moved to a strange thought about a scene I had witnessed in a movie. There's an interaction in the movie, "There's Something About Mary", where Greg (the main character) got roped into helping his boss' brother move. The brother is confined to a wheelchair & his whole persona is that of negativity & bitterness. Greg, with a HUGE armoire attached to his back, makes an offhand remark that the armoire is a bit heavy. The response of the brother is what I was reminded of this morning, the wheelchair-bound brother says (paraphrasing) "What I wouldn't give to know what heavy feels like you ungrateful (swear word)!!!"
I've been sick for the past week, unable to really get out and enjoy the great weather. I've been lazy, not working out nor keeping up with my food diary. I've been up at night because of the sickness, unable to get back to sleep. Because of it I've barely been able to help around the house like I should or play with the boys. The pity spiral I've been feeling recently had been getting bad. But seeing that woman this morning gives me hope & encourages me to step out of the spiral & into "the now". Having faith that this sickness will subside & begin to resume where I had left off.
For more sobering thoughts, read Ecclesiastes sometime. Timeless wisdom can be found there, the last verse brings the entire book together:
"That’s the whole story. Here now is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey his commands, for this is everyone’s duty. God will judge us for everything we do, including every secret thing, whether good or bad." - Ecc 12:13-14, NLT
Here's to feeling better, enjoying life, & fighting the good fight...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
And that's when I had a sobering thought, aging is inevitable - no matter the facelifts, miracle drugs, or whatever, getting older cannot be stopped. Thinking about that woman & her cane, I felt a little pity for her but more than that I was encouraged by her. Refusing to let an infirmity interfere with something she enjoys - walking her dog. I know people that have let infirmities, bad choices, & everyday life events keep them from living life. Falling into a downward spiral of pity or self-loathing, digging deeper & deeper into the rut they're in (Life Coach Dan Miller calls a rut, "a grave with the ends kicked out").
My mindtrack moved to a strange thought about a scene I had witnessed in a movie. There's an interaction in the movie, "There's Something About Mary", where Greg (the main character) got roped into helping his boss' brother move. The brother is confined to a wheelchair & his whole persona is that of negativity & bitterness. Greg, with a HUGE armoire attached to his back, makes an offhand remark that the armoire is a bit heavy. The response of the brother is what I was reminded of this morning, the wheelchair-bound brother says (paraphrasing) "What I wouldn't give to know what heavy feels like you ungrateful (swear word)!!!"
I've been sick for the past week, unable to really get out and enjoy the great weather. I've been lazy, not working out nor keeping up with my food diary. I've been up at night because of the sickness, unable to get back to sleep. Because of it I've barely been able to help around the house like I should or play with the boys. The pity spiral I've been feeling recently had been getting bad. But seeing that woman this morning gives me hope & encourages me to step out of the spiral & into "the now". Having faith that this sickness will subside & begin to resume where I had left off.
For more sobering thoughts, read Ecclesiastes sometime. Timeless wisdom can be found there, the last verse brings the entire book together:
"That’s the whole story. Here now is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey his commands, for this is everyone’s duty. God will judge us for everything we do, including every secret thing, whether good or bad." - Ecc 12:13-14, NLT
Here's to feeling better, enjoying life, & fighting the good fight...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Friday, March 26, 2010
"You've got to give..."
"...to live,
An empty hand reaching out for someone,
An empty heart takes so little to fill..." - Sammy Hagar, "Give to Live"
Sitting here still smelling of chicken broth, even after scrubbing up last night & this morning. But I don't mind, a small inconvenience for an amazing opportunity. I enjoy helping people, meeting needs, trying new experiences. I noticed a few of the men from my Saturday morning group had signed up to help out with the monthly food distribution our church hosts/pays for each month so I thought I would try it out. Wasn't sure what to expect, I always get cold feet beforehand - I guess a preservation/defense mechanism that is deeply ingrained in me.
I prayed on the way to church, asking God to make me a blessing that night. Pulling into the parking lot I could see the line of people standing outside, at least 60 or so with another group already inside the church. Walking into church I signed in, grabbed a nametag, & met up with a couple of guys I knew. I stood off to the side, gathering whatever strength I could to keep me there & not just leave. I felt out of place but then I realized it wasn't about me, it was about reaching out to the group of 100+ that had come for help.
Just then the food truck pulled up, I walked outside & was met with a huge side-hug from my friend Attica. Whatever selfish feelings I had melted away after that and we got to work at setting up the tables, starting the food counts, & bagging/setting out the food. I met up with one of the teens that had volunteered & we had fun setting out the food, joking around, having a good time. After a short prayer, the line began. I had the duty of handing out either graham cracker crumbs or 2lb bags of chicken broth powder, as well as dried cubes of cilantro.
For almost an hour I did the job, offering suggestions on uses for the cilantro cubes, helping my teen friend explain his item (a nut-flavored fortified cornstarch drink mix, used like hot cocoa), smiling & laughing, trying to lift the moods of those that had come. And I think I succeeded. By the end of the night I was tired & hungry (I left work and went right to church), smelling of chicken broth but felt good. Sure it was a couple of hours away from my family & a long day at that, but it was time well spent.
I look forward to doing it again.
A study was done in recent years that found we as humans are hard-wired to give whether we're hunter/gatherers in New Guinea or regular Joes in Paducah, KY. It's in our nature to give and that's not surprising, seeing as in whose image we were all created...
"In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly." Rom 12:6-8, NLT
We all have something to give...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
An empty hand reaching out for someone,
An empty heart takes so little to fill..." - Sammy Hagar, "Give to Live"
Sitting here still smelling of chicken broth, even after scrubbing up last night & this morning. But I don't mind, a small inconvenience for an amazing opportunity. I enjoy helping people, meeting needs, trying new experiences. I noticed a few of the men from my Saturday morning group had signed up to help out with the monthly food distribution our church hosts/pays for each month so I thought I would try it out. Wasn't sure what to expect, I always get cold feet beforehand - I guess a preservation/defense mechanism that is deeply ingrained in me.
I prayed on the way to church, asking God to make me a blessing that night. Pulling into the parking lot I could see the line of people standing outside, at least 60 or so with another group already inside the church. Walking into church I signed in, grabbed a nametag, & met up with a couple of guys I knew. I stood off to the side, gathering whatever strength I could to keep me there & not just leave. I felt out of place but then I realized it wasn't about me, it was about reaching out to the group of 100+ that had come for help.
Just then the food truck pulled up, I walked outside & was met with a huge side-hug from my friend Attica. Whatever selfish feelings I had melted away after that and we got to work at setting up the tables, starting the food counts, & bagging/setting out the food. I met up with one of the teens that had volunteered & we had fun setting out the food, joking around, having a good time. After a short prayer, the line began. I had the duty of handing out either graham cracker crumbs or 2lb bags of chicken broth powder, as well as dried cubes of cilantro.
For almost an hour I did the job, offering suggestions on uses for the cilantro cubes, helping my teen friend explain his item (a nut-flavored fortified cornstarch drink mix, used like hot cocoa), smiling & laughing, trying to lift the moods of those that had come. And I think I succeeded. By the end of the night I was tired & hungry (I left work and went right to church), smelling of chicken broth but felt good. Sure it was a couple of hours away from my family & a long day at that, but it was time well spent.
I look forward to doing it again.
A study was done in recent years that found we as humans are hard-wired to give whether we're hunter/gatherers in New Guinea or regular Joes in Paducah, KY. It's in our nature to give and that's not surprising, seeing as in whose image we were all created...
"In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly." Rom 12:6-8, NLT
We all have something to give...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Friday, March 05, 2010
"Be real..."
"People can sense fake..." - MattyV
During the Q&A section of the speech contest yesterday, one of my responses was the above quote. And it's true. I am constantly telling my fellow Toastmasters that when you write a speech, it has to be personal. Whether a technical speech on the workflows of a gigagadget to sharing your faith testimony - it has to be genuine or you'll lose the listener.
I find better connections with others when I am just plain real. I strive for that in my blogs, my podcasts, & my webshows. Some of the topics are upbeat, some are just plain depressing - but that's what engages the listener/viewer/reader. I try to make a personal connection with my audience, sharing an experience or emotion or situation that they may have had in their own life. I find when I do that, the more engaged the person gets & the more benefit we both receive from it.
For example I have a friend that reads my blogs on a daily basis and when one connects with him he shares it with all of his friends. I love that. I love the fact that what I went through or blogged about made a connection with another human being, enough so that he felt like sharing it with others in the hopes of making more connections. I'd love to see how far my reposted blogs have gotten, to see how many lives they have touched.
What brought up the thought for today? A couple of things, actually. The first was the movie, "Rambo". I loved "First Blood" so much that I actually took the book out of the local library & read it. Let me say that there is MUCH MUCH more to the book than the movie and not the other way around. I didn't care for any of the sequels, they turned John Rambo into an action hero and glorified his dealings in violence. The first movie portrayed him as a lone soldier, rejected by society to the breaking point.
I must say that although there was a lot of violence & blood in this sequel, the storyline & ending were superb (I actually cried a few tears at the end). But I noticed something, much of the blood & body parts were CGI (Computer Generated Images). The bullet holes & blood spatters didn't flow or match totally up with the way the bodies fell or seemed too clean. Seems like CG is being used more & more, leaving traditional special effects artists behind. Now I know that movies are supposed to be fake, but in order to engage the viewer there has to be some semblance of realism. Some movies thrive on their blantant use of fakery, while others need the realism to really tell their story. The CG in "Rambo" detracted a lot from the story & emotion they tried to evoke.
The other came from my "mentor", Dan Miller who relayed a story from the author Thomas J. Stanley ("The Millionaire Mind", "The Millionaire Next Door") from his new book, "Stop Acting Rich". Tom, through his research, found that the typical millionaire drives older vehicles, lives in modest homes, wears modest clothing, & don't go out to eat as often as people would believe. The ones with the flashy cars, expensive homes, & toss money around at restaurants are the ones who are in debt up to their eyeballs or are trying to act a part & gain attention. "Being fake" in other words.
We're most comfortable when we're being ourselves. Trouble is, society may not approve of our "true selves" hence the need to put up socially-acceptable facades.
I'd rather "be real" with one person than "be fake" amongst a crowd of other "fakers"...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
During the Q&A section of the speech contest yesterday, one of my responses was the above quote. And it's true. I am constantly telling my fellow Toastmasters that when you write a speech, it has to be personal. Whether a technical speech on the workflows of a gigagadget to sharing your faith testimony - it has to be genuine or you'll lose the listener.
I find better connections with others when I am just plain real. I strive for that in my blogs, my podcasts, & my webshows. Some of the topics are upbeat, some are just plain depressing - but that's what engages the listener/viewer/reader. I try to make a personal connection with my audience, sharing an experience or emotion or situation that they may have had in their own life. I find when I do that, the more engaged the person gets & the more benefit we both receive from it.
For example I have a friend that reads my blogs on a daily basis and when one connects with him he shares it with all of his friends. I love that. I love the fact that what I went through or blogged about made a connection with another human being, enough so that he felt like sharing it with others in the hopes of making more connections. I'd love to see how far my reposted blogs have gotten, to see how many lives they have touched.
What brought up the thought for today? A couple of things, actually. The first was the movie, "Rambo". I loved "First Blood" so much that I actually took the book out of the local library & read it. Let me say that there is MUCH MUCH more to the book than the movie and not the other way around. I didn't care for any of the sequels, they turned John Rambo into an action hero and glorified his dealings in violence. The first movie portrayed him as a lone soldier, rejected by society to the breaking point.
I must say that although there was a lot of violence & blood in this sequel, the storyline & ending were superb (I actually cried a few tears at the end). But I noticed something, much of the blood & body parts were CGI (Computer Generated Images). The bullet holes & blood spatters didn't flow or match totally up with the way the bodies fell or seemed too clean. Seems like CG is being used more & more, leaving traditional special effects artists behind. Now I know that movies are supposed to be fake, but in order to engage the viewer there has to be some semblance of realism. Some movies thrive on their blantant use of fakery, while others need the realism to really tell their story. The CG in "Rambo" detracted a lot from the story & emotion they tried to evoke.
The other came from my "mentor", Dan Miller who relayed a story from the author Thomas J. Stanley ("The Millionaire Mind", "The Millionaire Next Door") from his new book, "Stop Acting Rich". Tom, through his research, found that the typical millionaire drives older vehicles, lives in modest homes, wears modest clothing, & don't go out to eat as often as people would believe. The ones with the flashy cars, expensive homes, & toss money around at restaurants are the ones who are in debt up to their eyeballs or are trying to act a part & gain attention. "Being fake" in other words.
We're most comfortable when we're being ourselves. Trouble is, society may not approve of our "true selves" hence the need to put up socially-acceptable facades.
I'd rather "be real" with one person than "be fake" amongst a crowd of other "fakers"...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Saturday, February 27, 2010
"Suicide..."
"Don't do it!" - Big Fun (fictional band from the movie, "Heathers")
The other day when it was found that actor Andrew Koenig ("Boner" of "Growing Pains" fame) had taken his own life at a favorite park of his in Canada, it brought back some memories that weren't so favorable in my life. Hearing reporters, friends, & even his parents talk about Andrew's bouts of deep depression brought me back to my college days. I knew exactly where Andrew was on the day he ended his life because I had been there but thankfully stepped back from the edge.
My first (and only) year at college was an overwhelming experience for me. I had lived a pretty sheltered life, my parents had divorced when I was 12 or 13 & my mom kept me under her thumb until I was 18 years old. I was originally set to go to GVSU, but later changed my mind and headed down to Kalamazoo to join some friends that were going to Western Michigan University. Being 45min from home isn't that far, but for an 18 year old freshman on his own for the first time - it was like being a million miles away.
I was late in the game to apply & be accepted so I ended up in the very last orientation class which was held a few days before college officially started with the campus move-in day & class registration. It was lonely being in that dorm room by myself for those first few nights. I'd wander the campus after orientation, check out the local video store, & basically get my bearings before the entire student body arrived.
My roommate showed up that weekend, a sophomore that wanted to have his own room but was stuck with a roommate until one could be found. Did I mention he was a 6'6" black guy that liked Mad Dog 20/20 (we were on a non-alcohol floor) & pornography? The classes were over my head as well, such gems as Political Science 101, Black American Theater, Philosophy 101. I kid you not, I had to take BAT because it was the only class available to get me to my full credit status.
I had been used to 20-25 students in a class and I believe the lowest class size I had was around 75 students. Instead of a name I was a number. I was not prepared for this. Things got worse as people I basically grew up with went down different paths. One became a drug addict & the other one turned to alcohol. I felt even lonelier.
I began retreating more & more into myself, skipping class, sleeping late, eating in the cafeteria downstairs at least 5 times a day. I really didn't care anymore. Thanksgiving approached & I got word that they were shutting down the dorm for the week. Anyone staying in the dorm during that time needed to access it through the basement maintenance corridors. I opted to stay instead of going home, by then I had hit rockbottom.
The more time I spent alone, the more worthless I felt, the more worthless I felt, the more depressed I became until I hatched a plan to end it all. The dorms were deserted by then, I carried out my departure from this earth. I went to the local video store and stocked up on my favorite movies, headed over to the taco stand and picked up a dozen greasy turkey tacos (how appropriate), sat there for a few days, watched the movies & contemplated suicide.
I had a knife, a mother-of-pearl pocketknife that my father had given me a few years prior. It was sharp, made sure of that. Then the time came. I sat in the suite shower for what seemed like hours, the warm water splashing down on me. I thought of the surprise my roommate & suitemates would find, a blue & bloated corpse sitting in their shower. I thought of all the girls that had hurt me, all the taunts I received, the abuse I had gotten, my college experience was the last straw.
I was ready. I was primed. Everything was starting to fall into place, but I hesitated. Deep down inside I felt something. A tiny voice deep inside telling me, "Don't do this, you don't have to do this." I had never heard that voice before. It got stronger & louder as I sat there until I dropped the knife & began to weep. I let the emotions come out. I got up, shut off the shower, closed the pocketknife, & cleaned up. I "checked out" of college after that, skipping all classes & just basically living in the dorm.
That was the lowest point in my life. I admit that I do get depressed from time to time, but I don't allow it to get bottled up or build to the levels that led to my attempt. Blogging, praying, meditation, & just plain talking help me through those times.
I share this story because I never want anyone to feel that helpless ever. There is help out there, talk to friends, family, find a support group or counselor. If you're a friend or family member and you notice changes in someone - withdrawn, mood swings, depressive talk, don't explain it away or gloss over it. These are cries for help. I pray no one has to go through what the Koenig family has had to go through.
You're not worthless, you're priceless - remember that...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
The other day when it was found that actor Andrew Koenig ("Boner" of "Growing Pains" fame) had taken his own life at a favorite park of his in Canada, it brought back some memories that weren't so favorable in my life. Hearing reporters, friends, & even his parents talk about Andrew's bouts of deep depression brought me back to my college days. I knew exactly where Andrew was on the day he ended his life because I had been there but thankfully stepped back from the edge.
My first (and only) year at college was an overwhelming experience for me. I had lived a pretty sheltered life, my parents had divorced when I was 12 or 13 & my mom kept me under her thumb until I was 18 years old. I was originally set to go to GVSU, but later changed my mind and headed down to Kalamazoo to join some friends that were going to Western Michigan University. Being 45min from home isn't that far, but for an 18 year old freshman on his own for the first time - it was like being a million miles away.
I was late in the game to apply & be accepted so I ended up in the very last orientation class which was held a few days before college officially started with the campus move-in day & class registration. It was lonely being in that dorm room by myself for those first few nights. I'd wander the campus after orientation, check out the local video store, & basically get my bearings before the entire student body arrived.
My roommate showed up that weekend, a sophomore that wanted to have his own room but was stuck with a roommate until one could be found. Did I mention he was a 6'6" black guy that liked Mad Dog 20/20 (we were on a non-alcohol floor) & pornography? The classes were over my head as well, such gems as Political Science 101, Black American Theater, Philosophy 101. I kid you not, I had to take BAT because it was the only class available to get me to my full credit status.
I had been used to 20-25 students in a class and I believe the lowest class size I had was around 75 students. Instead of a name I was a number. I was not prepared for this. Things got worse as people I basically grew up with went down different paths. One became a drug addict & the other one turned to alcohol. I felt even lonelier.
I began retreating more & more into myself, skipping class, sleeping late, eating in the cafeteria downstairs at least 5 times a day. I really didn't care anymore. Thanksgiving approached & I got word that they were shutting down the dorm for the week. Anyone staying in the dorm during that time needed to access it through the basement maintenance corridors. I opted to stay instead of going home, by then I had hit rockbottom.
The more time I spent alone, the more worthless I felt, the more worthless I felt, the more depressed I became until I hatched a plan to end it all. The dorms were deserted by then, I carried out my departure from this earth. I went to the local video store and stocked up on my favorite movies, headed over to the taco stand and picked up a dozen greasy turkey tacos (how appropriate), sat there for a few days, watched the movies & contemplated suicide.
I had a knife, a mother-of-pearl pocketknife that my father had given me a few years prior. It was sharp, made sure of that. Then the time came. I sat in the suite shower for what seemed like hours, the warm water splashing down on me. I thought of the surprise my roommate & suitemates would find, a blue & bloated corpse sitting in their shower. I thought of all the girls that had hurt me, all the taunts I received, the abuse I had gotten, my college experience was the last straw.
I was ready. I was primed. Everything was starting to fall into place, but I hesitated. Deep down inside I felt something. A tiny voice deep inside telling me, "Don't do this, you don't have to do this." I had never heard that voice before. It got stronger & louder as I sat there until I dropped the knife & began to weep. I let the emotions come out. I got up, shut off the shower, closed the pocketknife, & cleaned up. I "checked out" of college after that, skipping all classes & just basically living in the dorm.
That was the lowest point in my life. I admit that I do get depressed from time to time, but I don't allow it to get bottled up or build to the levels that led to my attempt. Blogging, praying, meditation, & just plain talking help me through those times.
I share this story because I never want anyone to feel that helpless ever. There is help out there, talk to friends, family, find a support group or counselor. If you're a friend or family member and you notice changes in someone - withdrawn, mood swings, depressive talk, don't explain it away or gloss over it. These are cries for help. I pray no one has to go through what the Koenig family has had to go through.
You're not worthless, you're priceless - remember that...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Friday, February 26, 2010
"Winners Never Quit..."
Out on my run this morning I was thinking about this quote for one reason or another. Thanks to Seth Godin, I see that quote as false. In his book, "The Dip", Seth explains that the adage needs to change to:
"Winners know WHEN to quit..."
Winners tend to stop doing something when either they lose traction or the "opportunity cost" outweighs the benefits. It's better to quit something when it becomes less than stellar than to slog through to mediocrity.
I see that in my own life now that I have time to reflect. When the relationship is stagnant or remains superficial, it's time to cut loose & move on. I know that sounds harsh & cold, but would you rather waste energy & emotional investment in 10 friendships that never go anywhere or would you rather have 3 friendships that become deeply rooted & meaningful?
I would hope that for the most part you would want a deeper friendship than a purely superficial one. The trouble is not being able to recognize right away if the friendships are worth going further with without making a significant investment. But that's life.
I have also seen it in my weight loss journey as well. Trying new things, new paths, experimenting with different ideas & concepts I have read about. Making investments to really give them an opportunity and finding that the fit just isn't there or the results are not as expected. Cut the losses and move on.
It's painful at first, thinking of all the energy & emotional investment hoping that things work out but finding that your efforts are meaningless. But when you switch tracks, you often find that it was the best thing you have ever done.
I like the quote I posted by Tim Cook of Apple. I imagine they switch tracks often once they realize the one they're on is going nowhere or doesn't lead to their destination.
Seth Godin - "The Dip", I highly recommend it...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
"Winners know WHEN to quit..."
Winners tend to stop doing something when either they lose traction or the "opportunity cost" outweighs the benefits. It's better to quit something when it becomes less than stellar than to slog through to mediocrity.
I see that in my own life now that I have time to reflect. When the relationship is stagnant or remains superficial, it's time to cut loose & move on. I know that sounds harsh & cold, but would you rather waste energy & emotional investment in 10 friendships that never go anywhere or would you rather have 3 friendships that become deeply rooted & meaningful?
I would hope that for the most part you would want a deeper friendship than a purely superficial one. The trouble is not being able to recognize right away if the friendships are worth going further with without making a significant investment. But that's life.
I have also seen it in my weight loss journey as well. Trying new things, new paths, experimenting with different ideas & concepts I have read about. Making investments to really give them an opportunity and finding that the fit just isn't there or the results are not as expected. Cut the losses and move on.
It's painful at first, thinking of all the energy & emotional investment hoping that things work out but finding that your efforts are meaningless. But when you switch tracks, you often find that it was the best thing you have ever done.
I like the quote I posted by Tim Cook of Apple. I imagine they switch tracks often once they realize the one they're on is going nowhere or doesn't lead to their destination.
Seth Godin - "The Dip", I highly recommend it...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Friday, February 19, 2010
My Take On Obesity (from an obese person's perspective)
I've been obese most of my life. I have a rather lopsided view of life because of it. Lopsided towards cynicism because that is what I have developed over years of taunts, abuse, neglect, rejection, & other stumbling blocks along the way. Instead of seeing the glass half-full or half-empty, I often see the glass and wonder "will I get blamed for the missing half since I'm fat?" I have met & seen obese persons (like myself) fall into 3 distinct groups - Accepted, Admitted, & Determined.
Those that accept their obesity feel that it is their lot in life and nothing can change it. These types have formed support groups to help nurture their own acceptance of their obesity & in some instances to force the public into accepting it as well (I think of the National Association for the Advancement of Fat People - the NAAFP, a real organization). Lobbying congress & businesses to recognize obesity as a disease with no cure. Other have built careers around their obesity and use it to gain acceptance from society (the two that come to mind are Ralphie May, winner of "Last Comic Standing" & Gabriel Iglesias who's first album was titled "I'm not fat, I'm fluffy"). I used to fall into this category. I learned early on to become either a bully or "the funny fat guy" because of my weight. I chose to be funny since I'm a lover, not a fighter.
There are those that admit to their obesity and know they need to do something about it. The trap is that they either go about it the wrong way or have done it in a half-assed fashion. I have met (and know a few) people that have had the surgery thinking they had been given the "magic bullet" of weightloss. Not following the life plan required after having the surgery. Losing hair, sallow skin, even gaining back the weight lost, all tragic & unfortunate fates for those that have admitted their need to lose weight. I think of celebrities such as Kirstie Alley & Ron (from "The Biggest Loser" Season 7), Kirstie lost her weight through Nutri-System but failed to stick with the program while Ron (even though now he has lost weight & kept it off) had the surgery years prior before it became a "safer" & homogenized operation & eventually reversed the procedure by stretching out the stomach pouch.I had upgraded to this group in high school when I joined Weight Watchers (dropped out shortly after because it was a room full of overweight moms) and later when I had my heart palpitations, turning to prescription medications to help with weight loss.
The last group is one that I intend on staying with. The Determined are on a quest to lose weight safely & properly. They understand that it will be a hard journey and that it will last the rest of their lives. The Determined many times have been a part of the other groups but one event in their life changed their status to "determined". Mine happened in an elevator several years ago. I had a revelation, an epiphany, everything I had learned about weightloss & about the surgery finally "clicked" with me. My life event was almost signing on the dotted line to have the surgery. I knew I had to change, but I was smart - I did my research. After processing the info & praying about my decision I realized that I would have to change my lifestyle regardless. Whether having the surgery or not, I would have to change the way I eat, exercise, & deal with stress differently. The Determined group is a small one as statistics show only 10% of those that lose large amounts of weight keep it off.
I have been a part of all three of these groups at one point in my life: I have accepted my role of "the funny fat guy" for a time, toyed with the notion of losing weight knowing that it is something I needed to do, but eventually I became determined to lose weight & keep it off. I aspire to become a 10 percenter, encouraging others to evaluate their lives & make their own decision to become determined to lose weight.
Here's to becoming a part of the 10%...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Those that accept their obesity feel that it is their lot in life and nothing can change it. These types have formed support groups to help nurture their own acceptance of their obesity & in some instances to force the public into accepting it as well (I think of the National Association for the Advancement of Fat People - the NAAFP, a real organization). Lobbying congress & businesses to recognize obesity as a disease with no cure. Other have built careers around their obesity and use it to gain acceptance from society (the two that come to mind are Ralphie May, winner of "Last Comic Standing" & Gabriel Iglesias who's first album was titled "I'm not fat, I'm fluffy"). I used to fall into this category. I learned early on to become either a bully or "the funny fat guy" because of my weight. I chose to be funny since I'm a lover, not a fighter.
There are those that admit to their obesity and know they need to do something about it. The trap is that they either go about it the wrong way or have done it in a half-assed fashion. I have met (and know a few) people that have had the surgery thinking they had been given the "magic bullet" of weightloss. Not following the life plan required after having the surgery. Losing hair, sallow skin, even gaining back the weight lost, all tragic & unfortunate fates for those that have admitted their need to lose weight. I think of celebrities such as Kirstie Alley & Ron (from "The Biggest Loser" Season 7), Kirstie lost her weight through Nutri-System but failed to stick with the program while Ron (even though now he has lost weight & kept it off) had the surgery years prior before it became a "safer" & homogenized operation & eventually reversed the procedure by stretching out the stomach pouch.I had upgraded to this group in high school when I joined Weight Watchers (dropped out shortly after because it was a room full of overweight moms) and later when I had my heart palpitations, turning to prescription medications to help with weight loss.
The last group is one that I intend on staying with. The Determined are on a quest to lose weight safely & properly. They understand that it will be a hard journey and that it will last the rest of their lives. The Determined many times have been a part of the other groups but one event in their life changed their status to "determined". Mine happened in an elevator several years ago. I had a revelation, an epiphany, everything I had learned about weightloss & about the surgery finally "clicked" with me. My life event was almost signing on the dotted line to have the surgery. I knew I had to change, but I was smart - I did my research. After processing the info & praying about my decision I realized that I would have to change my lifestyle regardless. Whether having the surgery or not, I would have to change the way I eat, exercise, & deal with stress differently. The Determined group is a small one as statistics show only 10% of those that lose large amounts of weight keep it off.
I have been a part of all three of these groups at one point in my life: I have accepted my role of "the funny fat guy" for a time, toyed with the notion of losing weight knowing that it is something I needed to do, but eventually I became determined to lose weight & keep it off. I aspire to become a 10 percenter, encouraging others to evaluate their lives & make their own decision to become determined to lose weight.
Here's to becoming a part of the 10%...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
A simple compliment...
Received a compliment last night that at first didn't seem like one but after thinking about it, it is one amazing compliment. One of the members of my Saturday men's group shot me an email asking if I had worked at Star Theater at some point in time. Yep, I told him, worked as a manager there from '94 to '96 (actually started as a lowly usher in 1992 and worked my way up through the ranks to the "glass ceiling". The last position above mine was that of General Manager, and of course there's a waiting list of more-qualified candidates when an opening like that comes available - a RARE occurrence) but I was about 150lbs heavier back then. I love his response:
"knew it! I worked with you when I was in high school. You look younger now than what I remembered from back then, that's why I didn't ask before..."
It was a Dr. Oz or Dr. Huizenga (from, "The Biggest Loser") moment right there in my inbox. For those that don't get the reference, both doctors have done "real age" studies on their respective shows that give the participant what their body thinks it's age is rather than a chronological age. Many times a person's body age is 10 or as much as 30 years older than their chronological age because of their obesity or bad habits (like smoking). It's a real wakeup call to do something about it and oftentimes the participant does!
To hear that I look younger now than I did at 450lbs is a great compliment to receive. I still have a ways to go to reach my goal (and the rest of my life to maintain it), but to get encouraging compliments like that help to make the road to wellness & health that much easier to bear. Puts a little 'pep' in your step, brings your self-esteem up a notch or two, strengthens your commitment, encourages you to spread that feeling to others.
Have you complimented someone recently? You'll make them feel good and make yourself feel good at the same time, a win-win!
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
PS - Thanks, Tyler!
"knew it! I worked with you when I was in high school. You look younger now than what I remembered from back then, that's why I didn't ask before..."
It was a Dr. Oz or Dr. Huizenga (from, "The Biggest Loser") moment right there in my inbox. For those that don't get the reference, both doctors have done "real age" studies on their respective shows that give the participant what their body thinks it's age is rather than a chronological age. Many times a person's body age is 10 or as much as 30 years older than their chronological age because of their obesity or bad habits (like smoking). It's a real wakeup call to do something about it and oftentimes the participant does!
To hear that I look younger now than I did at 450lbs is a great compliment to receive. I still have a ways to go to reach my goal (and the rest of my life to maintain it), but to get encouraging compliments like that help to make the road to wellness & health that much easier to bear. Puts a little 'pep' in your step, brings your self-esteem up a notch or two, strengthens your commitment, encourages you to spread that feeling to others.
Have you complimented someone recently? You'll make them feel good and make yourself feel good at the same time, a win-win!
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
PS - Thanks, Tyler!
Friday, February 05, 2010
What the world sees vs. what God sees...
Had this as my devotion this morning, I'll comment on it below...
I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay for their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots. But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.
This love story began in Winchester , Mass. , 43 years ago, when Rick was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs. "He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life;" father, Dick, says doctors told him and his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. "Put him in an institution."
But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate. "No way," Dick says he was told. "There's nothing going on in his brain." "Tell him a joke," Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain.
Rigged up with a computer that allowed him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? "Go Bruins!" And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, "Dad, I want to do that." Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described "porker" who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he tried. "Then it was me who was handicapped," Dick says. "I was sore for two weeks."
That day changed Rick's life. "Dad," he typed, "when we were running, it felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!" And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.
"No way," Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then they found a way to get into the race officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the qualifying time for Boston the following year.
Then somebody said, "Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?" How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick tried. Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironman in Hawaii . It must be a buzz kill to be a 25-year-old stud getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you think?
Eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars--all in the same day. Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. on a bike. Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right? Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? "No way," he says. Dick does it purely for "the awesome feeling" he gets seeing Rick with a cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.
This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon , in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best time'? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992--only 35 minutes off the world record, which, in case you don't keep track of these things, happens to be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the time.
"No question about it," Rick types. "My dad is the Father of the Century." And what has Rick done for his father? Not much--except save his life. And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries was 95% clogged. "If you hadn't been in such great shape," one doctor told him, "you probably would've died 15 years ago." So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life.
Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston , and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland , Mass. , always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father's Day.
That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy. "The thing I'd most like," Rick types, "is that my dad would sit in the chair and I would push him once."
- Rick Reilly, "The Strongest Dad In The World"
The world saw something different than what God saw in Rick. God clued his parents in to what He saw when Rick followed them around the room with his eyes at 9 months. His parents began to see the person inside the disabled shell. Thanks in part to modern technology, Rick is able to share himself & communicate with others through the specialized computer device he uses. Rick is intelligent, funny, & loving.
The world saw something different in his father Dick as well. Telling him that he couldn't run races with his son, telling himself that he couldn't compete in triathalons or mountain climb or many of the other things that he eventually was able to accomplish with his son. God clued Dick in to what He saw and that gave him the confidence and drive to step out in faith and do it. And he did. My friend Matt Hoover (of Biggest Loser fame) completed an ironman recently. From the stories and video I saw of his accomplishment, I couldn't imagine doing such a race carrying/dragging/pushing an additional 110lbs - but through strength & trust Dick did just that not once, but many times all across the country.
So many times we look at ourselves the way the world sees us. My prayer today is that God clues us in to what He sees when He looks at us and that we gain strength & courage from that. I'll be meditating on that today and see where it takes me...
"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!" 2 Cor 5:17, NLT
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay for their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots. But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.
This love story began in Winchester , Mass. , 43 years ago, when Rick was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs. "He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life;" father, Dick, says doctors told him and his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. "Put him in an institution."
But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate. "No way," Dick says he was told. "There's nothing going on in his brain." "Tell him a joke," Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain.
Rigged up with a computer that allowed him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? "Go Bruins!" And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, "Dad, I want to do that." Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described "porker" who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he tried. "Then it was me who was handicapped," Dick says. "I was sore for two weeks."
That day changed Rick's life. "Dad," he typed, "when we were running, it felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!" And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.
"No way," Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then they found a way to get into the race officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the qualifying time for Boston the following year.
Then somebody said, "Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?" How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick tried. Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironman in Hawaii . It must be a buzz kill to be a 25-year-old stud getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you think?
Eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars--all in the same day. Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. on a bike. Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right? Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? "No way," he says. Dick does it purely for "the awesome feeling" he gets seeing Rick with a cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.
This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon , in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best time'? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992--only 35 minutes off the world record, which, in case you don't keep track of these things, happens to be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the time.
"No question about it," Rick types. "My dad is the Father of the Century." And what has Rick done for his father? Not much--except save his life. And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries was 95% clogged. "If you hadn't been in such great shape," one doctor told him, "you probably would've died 15 years ago." So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life.
Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston , and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland , Mass. , always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father's Day.
That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy. "The thing I'd most like," Rick types, "is that my dad would sit in the chair and I would push him once."
- Rick Reilly, "The Strongest Dad In The World"
The world saw something different than what God saw in Rick. God clued his parents in to what He saw when Rick followed them around the room with his eyes at 9 months. His parents began to see the person inside the disabled shell. Thanks in part to modern technology, Rick is able to share himself & communicate with others through the specialized computer device he uses. Rick is intelligent, funny, & loving.
The world saw something different in his father Dick as well. Telling him that he couldn't run races with his son, telling himself that he couldn't compete in triathalons or mountain climb or many of the other things that he eventually was able to accomplish with his son. God clued Dick in to what He saw and that gave him the confidence and drive to step out in faith and do it. And he did. My friend Matt Hoover (of Biggest Loser fame) completed an ironman recently. From the stories and video I saw of his accomplishment, I couldn't imagine doing such a race carrying/dragging/pushing an additional 110lbs - but through strength & trust Dick did just that not once, but many times all across the country.
So many times we look at ourselves the way the world sees us. My prayer today is that God clues us in to what He sees when He looks at us and that we gain strength & courage from that. I'll be meditating on that today and see where it takes me...
"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!" 2 Cor 5:17, NLT
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Friday, January 29, 2010
Info for my YouTube watchers...
Here's the article from Jillian Michaels on determining your AMR (Active Metabolism Rate):
http://www.jillianmichaels.com/fitness-and-diet-tips/determining-your-AMR
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
http://www.jillianmichaels.com/fitness-and-diet-tips/determining-your-AMR
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Friday, January 22, 2010
Which are you?
"A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.
Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked. "What does it mean, mother?" Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity—boiling water—but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?" Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level?
How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?" - Anonymous, "The Carrot, The Egg, & The Coffee Bean"
Had this as my devotion this morning, thought I would share it with everyone. I personally tend to waver between all three, sometimes I am a carrot when something happens that rocks me to my core. Sometimes I am an egg, jaded by the constant bombardment of situations. But there are times when I am a coffee bean and am able to step back and change my perception of situations & learn from them.
Good story... Just thinking of it, a friend of mine shared this story with me years ago...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked. "What does it mean, mother?" Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity—boiling water—but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?" Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level?
How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?" - Anonymous, "The Carrot, The Egg, & The Coffee Bean"
Had this as my devotion this morning, thought I would share it with everyone. I personally tend to waver between all three, sometimes I am a carrot when something happens that rocks me to my core. Sometimes I am an egg, jaded by the constant bombardment of situations. But there are times when I am a coffee bean and am able to step back and change my perception of situations & learn from them.
Good story... Just thinking of it, a friend of mine shared this story with me years ago...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Friday, January 15, 2010
"All you need is love..."
"Love is all you need..." - The Beatles, "All You Need Is Love"
Woke up this morning wondering what I would note about when the subject of love popped into my head. We often overuse the phrase "love" that kind of takes away its wonder and beauty. "Oh I LOVE this handbag" or "Don't you just LOVE that car" really brings the concept down to almost a carnal nature. Love is a gift, love is most important. If you do not love, life is not worth living. I remember last week's episode of "The Biggest Loser" when the group were gathered around learning from eachother. One of the Tongan brothers spoke of the previous season where Filipe (another Tongan) had his big makeover reveal and how his wife looked at him. He said, wiping tears from his eyes, that he wanted what Filipe had - a woman that loved him deeply. Many of the other contestants concurred that they wanted someone to love and to have someone love them.
Love is important, love from someone else is a gift that is like no other. I am so thankful that I found someone that loves me and cares for me as much as I care for her. I would want to say that I am lucky, but blessed is probably a better term. The apostle Paul laid out how important love is:
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." - 1 Cor 13:1-13, NIV
John also lays out for us the importance of love:
"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. " Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us." - 1 Jo 3:16-23, NIV
Having it all except love is meaningless. Money can't buy love, maybe lust or favor for a time, but not love...
Much love to you all from my heart, my friends. Much love...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Woke up this morning wondering what I would note about when the subject of love popped into my head. We often overuse the phrase "love" that kind of takes away its wonder and beauty. "Oh I LOVE this handbag" or "Don't you just LOVE that car" really brings the concept down to almost a carnal nature. Love is a gift, love is most important. If you do not love, life is not worth living. I remember last week's episode of "The Biggest Loser" when the group were gathered around learning from eachother. One of the Tongan brothers spoke of the previous season where Filipe (another Tongan) had his big makeover reveal and how his wife looked at him. He said, wiping tears from his eyes, that he wanted what Filipe had - a woman that loved him deeply. Many of the other contestants concurred that they wanted someone to love and to have someone love them.
Love is important, love from someone else is a gift that is like no other. I am so thankful that I found someone that loves me and cares for me as much as I care for her. I would want to say that I am lucky, but blessed is probably a better term. The apostle Paul laid out how important love is:
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." - 1 Cor 13:1-13, NIV
John also lays out for us the importance of love:
"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. " Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us." - 1 Jo 3:16-23, NIV
Having it all except love is meaningless. Money can't buy love, maybe lust or favor for a time, but not love...
Much love to you all from my heart, my friends. Much love...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Striving for That Ten Percent
While flipping channels tonight I saw a snippet of a new show that will be featured on Discovery Health which will chronicle the reemergence rise of Eric Chopin, winner of season 3 of "The Biggest Loser". After winning the show, something happened in Eric's life that caused him to gain back all the weight he lost on the show. It seems that this is a trend that tends to happen to those that lose focus on what's important and rest on past achievements. Even one of the people I admire, Matt Hoover (another "The Biggest Loser" winner), gained back over 80lbs in the years since winning.
I read an article a few years back that spoke of a study done on those from my previous weight classification (the super-super-morbidly-obese, and yes, this is a clinical classification). The study was done over a period of years of a group that had lost a substantial amount of weight and the findings showed that only about 10% of the group were able to maintain their weight loss (or continue to lose). The other 90% either gained back all or all their weight plus more.At the height of my weight loss, I had lost half of my original body weight and well within reach of my goal. I was speaking to groups of people, had a popular weekly web show, things were seemingly going my way. But then the dreaded "life-happening" began which took focus away from my goal and found me falling back into old ways. The speaking engagements began to dry up, the website hits began to falter, viewership of the show waned. Soon I began not to care anymore about my goals. My dreams were fading fast. The motivation subsided. I was driven by the accolades of others, the recognition of my achievements. Once they became old news & the accolades faded, the cheering section was gone. I became just another Joe who lost some weight.
Sitting here thinking about my goals for 2010, I realize that I cannot allow this trend to continue. I want to become a part of that 10 percent. I know deep down that I was meant to be an example for others, a leader, an encourager, an inspiration.One of my goals for 2010 is to make it to my initial goal weight. And in making that resolution, realizing that this goal is all up to me. There may be others that will be cheerleaders or encouragers, but unfortunately I can no longer rely on them alone to motivate me. That was my mistake last time around. The only true cheerleader I can count on is the one that I face in the mirror each day as I get ready.
I was sooo close to goal I could taste it and yet I let it slip through my grasp. Learning from one's mistakes and making the right course corrections is on the board this time around.Need to disband one group (Lose, Fatboy, Lose) and focus on starting another - but this time look for members willing to participate and not just sit idly by in the stands...
WANTED - people willing to be a part of something great. Need to be willing to offer encouragement, ask questions, give advice. Payment in the form of knowing that you have helped someone else achieve their goals, inspiration to achieve your own, & satisfaction in being a part of something historic & amazing. Email or respond to this note if you want in on this unique opportunity...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
I read an article a few years back that spoke of a study done on those from my previous weight classification (the super-super-morbidly-obese, and yes, this is a clinical classification). The study was done over a period of years of a group that had lost a substantial amount of weight and the findings showed that only about 10% of the group were able to maintain their weight loss (or continue to lose). The other 90% either gained back all or all their weight plus more.At the height of my weight loss, I had lost half of my original body weight and well within reach of my goal. I was speaking to groups of people, had a popular weekly web show, things were seemingly going my way. But then the dreaded "life-happening" began which took focus away from my goal and found me falling back into old ways. The speaking engagements began to dry up, the website hits began to falter, viewership of the show waned. Soon I began not to care anymore about my goals. My dreams were fading fast. The motivation subsided. I was driven by the accolades of others, the recognition of my achievements. Once they became old news & the accolades faded, the cheering section was gone. I became just another Joe who lost some weight.
Sitting here thinking about my goals for 2010, I realize that I cannot allow this trend to continue. I want to become a part of that 10 percent. I know deep down that I was meant to be an example for others, a leader, an encourager, an inspiration.One of my goals for 2010 is to make it to my initial goal weight. And in making that resolution, realizing that this goal is all up to me. There may be others that will be cheerleaders or encouragers, but unfortunately I can no longer rely on them alone to motivate me. That was my mistake last time around. The only true cheerleader I can count on is the one that I face in the mirror each day as I get ready.
I was sooo close to goal I could taste it and yet I let it slip through my grasp. Learning from one's mistakes and making the right course corrections is on the board this time around.Need to disband one group (Lose, Fatboy, Lose) and focus on starting another - but this time look for members willing to participate and not just sit idly by in the stands...
WANTED - people willing to be a part of something great. Need to be willing to offer encouragement, ask questions, give advice. Payment in the form of knowing that you have helped someone else achieve their goals, inspiration to achieve your own, & satisfaction in being a part of something historic & amazing. Email or respond to this note if you want in on this unique opportunity...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
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