Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Fixed for the next time...

Being a rather frugal guy I keep up on different websites to see the scuttlebutt on new sales or free items both in stores and on the web. Some have panned out, others have not. The title of this note comes from an incident I found on one of the boards regarding a special coupon available to members of a store's club. Inside scoop stated a game would be marked down to $20 and the coupon was for $20 off, essentially making the game free. The boards were flooded that day with people scoring free games left & right, traveling to 4 or 5 different locations to "cash-in". As the afternoon rolled around the store got the clue and shut down the coupon acceptance but not before thousands of dollars of merchandise was lost.

The store's POS (Point-Of-Sale) team neglected to mark the particular game in their system as a sale item, which allowed the coupon to be used. People were "legitimately" using the coupon, but many were abusing the glitch to line their own pockets by trading the games back to the store for credit or to other game stores for profit.

This week another "glitch" was found, 2 more coupons would render the advertised games as free with many on the boards waiting with baited breath to see if another field day of hoarding could be had. Slowly the board began to fill on Sunday morning with reports that the coupons did not work, with the rare instance of a GM overriding the system to avoid a scene. This time the POS team made sure that the games were entered into the system as on sale to void the using of the coupon. Many had griped about it while others told them to "suck it up" and be happy for the week before's freebie.

So many times we fall down because of a flaw or bad decision in our lives. So many times we feel helpless and devoid of confidence when it happens that we continue to fall prey to it's effects time and time again. But it doesn't have to be that way. We can learn from our failures, we can learn from our mistakes, we can learn from our bad decisions. By doing that, we can "fix the glitch" so when we face the challenge again we can make a better choice and break the constant cycle of defeat.

Hell, I have a bunch of "glitches" in my life right now that need attention. I may feel defeated for a short time, but I will learn from them and prepare a plan to "fix" them for the next time. I will overcome, I will win the race, I will become the man I am supposed to be.


"Fall down 7 times, get up 8..." - Japanese proverb


MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

"Walks" of Life

When I run in the mornings I use the time to develop ideas, sort out problems & frustrations, or just contemplate life. This morning was no different, I noticed that the sidewalk plows had not run in a few days as the mild snow dustings of the last week accumulated. This made the perfect canvas for footprints in the snow, all sorts of different prints. There were large bootprints, small bootprints, ladies tennis shoeprints, YakTrax prints (those were mine), prints that slid, prints that were crisp & clear. There were animal prints as well, large dogs & small dogs, squirrels & even rabbits.

Different prints from all walks of life. Some taken seriously (those who were exercising), some taken in fun (the sliding prints), but all filled with some sort of purpose. This morning I think of some of the important walks we take in life from our first steps, our first walk to school alone (or walk to the bus stop), our graduation walk(s), the walk down the aisle, the walk to quiet our newborns, and our final walk to glory.

We all experience our own "life walk" at our own pace. Some are a bit further down their path than others, some seem to struggle and dawdle along, while still others are just beginning to take their first steps. We can all learn from each other's "walks" by erecting mile markers or milestones along the way as an encouragement to those behind us. Kind words, advice, time, comfort, giving, these milestones are great encouragers.

Set up some milestones today along your walk for others to find and gain from...


"And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love." 2 Jn 1:6, NIV

"Everywhere is walking distance IF you have the time..." - Steven Wright


MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Be Yourself... No Matter What...

I sit here at the computer at 4am, just came back from a run to clear my head. One thing I seem to constantly have to learn is to be myself no matter what. Trying to be everything to everybody will get you nowhere but depressed. I admire my namesake from the bible because he wasn't like any of the other disciples. He was an outsider, a tax collector, a person despised by his own people (the Jews), and yet Christ made him one of the 12 to be a part of His life and help to spread Christ's ministry to the known world.

I don't think that meeting was happenstance. I believe it was a message that God (and Christ for that matter) accepts and loves everyone, from the fishermen to the tax collectors. I don't know what kind of relationship Matthew had with the others, I can imagine he may have remained an outsider because he didn't have much in common with the rest other than being a Jew and being chosen by Christ. I'm sure he had his own moments of disconnection & depression about being "on the outside looking in".

Had some things happen last night that really nailed it for me. My own moment of disconnection & depression which I tried to medicate through some unhealthy choices. Let me say that the feelings you have about rejection aren't going to go away with a couple of lemon bars or handful of Chex mix. I tried to sleep but decided that I needed to get out and run to deal with what I was feeling. Having time to clear my head and begin to work through these emotions has helped a bit. It's helped me to get this stuff down in writing for further contemplation and time to begin the healing process.

One thing that came up during my run was an old adage, "You can please all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time, but you cannot please all of the people all of the time." You need to be who you are no matter what. If this doesn't please or "click" with other people, so be it. We are all different, we come from different walks of life, there isn't one person on the planet that can please or "click" with everyone. What fun would life be if we were all the same, had all the same interests, looked the same, talked the same, reasoned & thought the same? Diversity is a good thing, learning from others is important, sharing with others is important, being who God made you to be is important. Trying to please everyone or being someone you're not shortchanges not only yourself, but others as well.

Rejection will sting, I can understand and sympathize with that, but it will sting less if you truly tried to be who you were made to be and not some false self to gain acceptance. I think of the veteran that stands at the corner of River Avenue & 9th Street. I thought he was odd, standing there in an old Navy uniform with a flag and saluted cars as they passed by. But now I think of him this morning and I have a sense of awe for him. He was out there doing what he wanted to do, regardless of what others thought. He got the occasional honk of approval but mostly was ignored or gawked at by passersby.

"As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at his tax collector’s booth. “Follow me and be my disciple,” Jesus said to him. So Matthew got up and followed him." Mat 9:9, NLT


MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

"Scratches" & Milestones...

This morning when I was brushing my teeth, I was staring into the mirror when light had kind of "glinted" off of something on my shoulder. This caught my attention so I started to inspect my shoulder and saw faint remnants of stretch marks that criss-cross my body. Now a faint pale, they are reminders of where I had once been. I remember when those marks were pink (and sometimes red) as the skin stretched and strained its way to mold itself to my humongous frame of fatness. I recall irritated areas that literally broke apart & wept because it could not hold the weight. Those were painful days for me, painful and embarrassing. And how they itched! The new stretch-marks growing skin felt like ants crawling all over my body.

One summer I remember 2 friends from my neighborhood and myself rode our bikes to my aunt & uncle's house to go swimming. My aunt said we could stop by and go swimming if someone was home and so on one particularly hot day we headed over. I took off my shirt before getting into the pool when one friend commented, "Where'd you get all those scratches?" not realizing they were stretch-marks. My other friend knew what they were and quietly told the other to let it go. I played it off, but that was the last time I took my shirt off in public (if I had the choice to do so).

I posted a status a couple of weeks ago about people or things can do nothing to make a person change but rather the person has to WANT to change. I look back at all the things said, the embarrassing situations, & even the physical signs, and find that none of that had any effect on my own mindset. It wasn't until I wanted to change that change began to happen for me.

Pulling my loose skin tight I can see those stretch-marks, feeling them as they have now become merely ripples and no longer prominent. This morning when I got up I noticed the necklace holding my original wedding band had broke and come loose from around my neck. I put the necklace away until I can get it fixed, while the wedding band sits on the index finger of my right hand. I'll wear it there for a bit and then put it away so I won't lose it. But the stretch-marks will stay with me forever as a constant reminder of where I've come from and how far I've come. They have become a milestone in my life, and now I appreciate them as just that.


I wonder what other areas of my life contain stretch-marks, reminders of where I've come from and how far I've come. I'm sure they are there...


MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Friday, November 13, 2009

"So I christen you 'Titanic'..."

"Underestimate & swim!" - Superchic[k], "One Girl Revolution"

I caught this lyric yesterday while on my noon walk. Superchic[k] is one of my favorite bands because not only do they rock out & Melissa is my sweetie (I still fondly recall the huge hug I got from her a few years back), but some of their songs really hit on some positive messages that appeal to me. "Get Up" is still my life anthem, no matter how many times I may fall I WILL get back up again...

The whole song deals with being who you are and although much of it is chick-based, it's still a concept that everyone can grasp. Many of us are afraid of being who we are because who we are may not fit the mainstream. We would rather put on a front to 'fit in' and suffer in silence than to walk free and be who we are. And that's a sad comment. Each one of us was created differently and uniquely, each created for a specific purpose and with specific gifts. We were meant to compliment eachother, bless eachother, help eachother with our uniqueness. How boring would it be if we were all the same? What would be the point?

The above lyric is a response to someone that only sees the outside of people, basically underestimating her by not getting to know her. The old fighting adage goes, "NEVER underestimate your opponent", the singer is equating herself to the iceberg that the Titanic hit because of the person's underestimation of her and her potential. By basing your opinions on superficial things, you could be missing out on something great.

I've often underestimated people or made superficial judgements. In some ways I did it to not hurt any feelings, other ways I did not believe in the person fully that they could achieve what I needed them to achieve. I've been underestimated throughout my life. Being overweight tends to attract that, people making judgements about me personally by the way I look. I have been bothered by this, but now I am beginning to realize that it truly is THEIR LOSS and not mine. I know parents and friends over the years have tried to comfort or soften blows to my self-esteem by parroting those words, but now that I have time to step back and think - there is truth in those words. Takes a little of the sting out of being rejected, not all of the sting but a little.

I've even been guilty of underestimating myself. I began a new workout routine where I alternate days of strength-training/yoga with cardio/circuit-training, along with an altered running schedule. I didn't think that I could handle almost an hour of intense exercise after running, so many times I have wanted to cut back. Getting into the shower each morning after peeling off my sweat-soaked clothing, I realize that I'm more capable that what I thought. I'll continue to be conscious of that and keep pushing the envelope.

The point of this note? "Don't judge a book by it's cover, you may be missing out on something great!"

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Friday, October 23, 2009

"Erase myself..."

"And let go of what I've done..." - Linkin Park, "What I've Done"

Bren & I are fans of "The Biggest Loser", so you can find us on Tuesday nights at home in front of the idiot box cheering/crying/yelling at those we love & love-to-hate on the show. Last night one team was allowed to go home for a week, which was both a blessing & a curse to each member. Being secluded on campus with access to a gym & ONLY healthy options for food , it's easy to lose weight and drop huge numbers. In the real world filled with temptations even bigger than those during challenges and limited access to a gym or swimming pool - the struggle to lose weight is greater and more difficult.

The one thing that reminded me so much of my former-self were the clips of both Dina & Shay going out to eat with their families. Both of them were dumb-founded and shocked at the meals people were eating around them. Gently prodding her husband to get a doggy-bag for the rest of his massive burrito, Dina got the response "Doggy-bags are for dessert" as he shoved another forkful in his mouth. Shay was dismayed as her family ate greasy chicken fingers, ranch dressing, chicken wings, many of the things she used to enjoy. She had a sad epiphany, her stepchildren were eating like this because that's what they had seen her eat over the years. She taught them by example and she was both ashamed & saddened by that.

And I thought about the things I used to do to abuse myself. All the extra orders of fries, burgers, 2-liters, gallons of ice cream I downed in one sitting without a second thought. Here's an example of a typical fast food order for myself - this was just MY order:

Whopper w/ cheese, heavy pickle & ketchup
Cheeseburger, heavy pickle & ketchup
King-size fry King-size onion ring
King-size Dr. Pepper
Chocolate pie (not the usual, but often)

I could down all of this in one sitting, over 3000 calories of food, and not blink twice. Buffets were to me a paradise of gluttony. I could simply eat plate after plate after plate after plate, only stopping when I felt the food begin to come back up. And then stick my hand into a bag of chips when I got home from the restaurant. Food became (and still is) my drug-of-choice when dealing with stress or depression in my life. I've often said that it may in many cases be easier for a smoker or alcoholic to quit their addictions because they do not need those vices in order to live. Food addicts have to struggle with their choices everyday because food is needed for the sustainability of life.

Often when Bren and I go out to eat now, we typically share a meal (unless it's a special occasion). It wouldn't be uncommon to see us out at Logan's Roadhouse with the following at our table:
Logan's Roadhouse 8oz sirloin (split in half)
Side of fries (for Bren)
Small Caesar salad (for me)
Coke or ice water (for Bren)
Unsweetened iced tea w/ lemon (for me)

It's satisfying but not over-filling. I am sure there are those that read this note and think I'm crazy or nutty, but I'm not who I was. I am constantly learning how to eat properly, a lesson that I am continually reminded of. I have to tell myself each and every day that I'm not that guy anymore, I don't need food for comfort when I have a bad day. Food isn't going to fix the depression I am feeling at this moment.

I need to remember my past has been blotted out. I AM a new creation...

"He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west." Ps 103:12, NLT

"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!" 2 Cor 5:17, NLT


MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Friday, October 16, 2009

10/16/09 - Cookie Cutters

While checking my email online or going to Facebook I noticed some things recently. It seems that all the advertisements that help keep those sources free have to do with one thing - weightloss. I've been bombarded with ads for pills, surgery centers, shakes, all sorts of other gimmicks touted to help me shed tons of weight.

I chalked it up to "keyword ads", taking words from my email signature or from my profile to generate the ads that I see. I got to thinking about it. How many people have been "suckered" into claims of losing tons of weight only to be disappointed and disillusioned when it doesn't work for them?

We are all different, we have been gifted in many different ways. Honestly there really isn't a true "cookie cutter" way to lose weight other than to take in less calories than you expend. Your personality, your strengths & weaknesses, likes & dislikes will all help you determine what plan of action works best for you.

Dan Miller (www.48days.com) talks sometimes about finding your passion rather than finding a lucrative career. One example he often gives is that of the Subway franchise, one of the hottest restaurant franchises out there. Just because it's a hot franchise doesn't mean that it will instantly make you money. Franchise owners have a business plan & support from a larger corporation but its up to them to make it work. Many owners spend upwards of 70-80hrs a week at their stores, dealing with employee turnover, inventory, etc. Is your personality geared toward something like that? I know I couldn't handle something like that, the stress would be incredible...

You need to sit down and go over who you are. With the answers you receive, look around at the different weightloss plans & products and try to find one that fits you. Of course modification will be necessary, but find something you can accomplish and works with you. You'll be on your way to weightloss in no time...


MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Friday, October 09, 2009

Starting Fresh (again...)

Was switching around my radio presets this morning to find some music for Logan & I to lsten to on the way to daycare and came across a preset that I hadn't listen to in a while. I love music in general, some genres more than others but I am willing to give them a chance and can see their merits. This particular station used to play the "moldie oldies" from the 1950's and early 1960's (before psychedelia took over). The DJs were of that generation and the morning guys really tended to "play up" the wackiness that used to be found on the dial back in the day. Switching to that preset found me ear-to-ear with "The Bob & Tom Show", a syndicated radio show based out of Indianapolis, IN.

Apparently the station had switched its format from one of "the golden age of Rock & Roll" to that of more of a "classic hits" appeal that encompasses music from the 60's through 90's. The morning wacky DJs were gone, in their stead was a program that more truely fit the demographic of their target audience. Kind of reminded me of the film, "AirHeads", in which one of the sub-plots of the movie was a heavy metal rock station was in the process of changing formats to that of a lite rock station - unknown to the DJs or other staff members. My thoughts came back to that of people I knew in elementary school that came back from summer vacation and entered middle school totally changed. Their appearance, clothing, everything seemed to change in a brief period of time. Seeing it as time to start over, start fresh, try on a new persona with a new crowd.

Sometimes we aren't given the choice on whether or not to start fresh. Sometimes life seems to make that decision for us and we are left starting at level zero. Oftentimes we get down about it, thinking about all that we had lost instead of seeing the opportunities ahead of us. I remember a time in my life where things came crashing down and I literally had to start from zero. I had lost friends, respect, job, there wasn't much more that could have been taken from me other than my freedom. But looking back these many years later, I see it now as my time to start fresh. Many of the old aspects of my life had been cut away, the things that may have been keeping me down were now gone. It was a long road of rebuilding, but along that road I found a new job, my first "real" girlfriend (and first wife), a lot of firsts and renewals came to me.

I think of a couple of bible characters that ended up starting fresh (again...):

Noah - God told him to build and ark for him, his family, & the animals. Noah started fresh with repopulating the earth

Job - Due to no fault of his own (other than being born), Job lost everything. After a time of suffering & questioning, he started fresh again and flourished

Matthew - Burned a ton of bridges when he left his tax stand to follow Christ. Many, many, many people have come to know Christ because of his life starting fresh

Paul - Once the most merciless & feared man among Christians, God allowed him to start fresh leading many people (even ones today) into a relationship with Christ


Are you going through a "pruning" in your life? Dreading having to start fresh (again...)? It may not be as bad as you think!

"The LORD blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the first. He had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen and a thousand donkeys. And he also had seven sons and three daughters. The first daughter he named Jemimah, the second Keziah and the third Keren-Happuch. Nowhere in all the land were there found women as beautiful as Job's daughters, and their father granted them an inheritance along with their brothers." Job 42:12-15, NLT


MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Friday, October 02, 2009

Compromises...

Yesterday morning I began preparing my chili for the Zeeland Pumpkinfest cook-off and had been feeling a bit down about it. This is my 4th year competing in the competition, my 4th attempt to at least place, my 4th different recipe to present. I can't really say that it's a "true" competition in that the judges are the general public and not culinary experts/restauranteurs/professional chefs as you would see in other cook-offs. I say "true" in that fashion because the popular vote defeats (at least in my opinion) what I consider chili to be. "People-pleasing" chili at these contests means a mild, almost weak chili bordering on soup. My mantra when it comes to chili is, "Chili that isn't spicy is just bean soup..."

In trying a new recipe I cut back on the spice in an attempt to create something that would be palatable & hopefully pleasing to the cadre of elderly that tend to show up at these contests (for the "free meal"). I have to say I felt dirty. I felt like I was making a compromise to what I believed in order to get ahead. It's not a good feeling, a feeling that begins in your gut and wells up into your spirit. A feeling of wrongness, of defeat, of disgust.

I've had that feeling at other times in my life as well. We all have our beliefs and when something comes across our path that compromises them, we have a choice to make. We can either stand firm on them and accept the consequences or we can back down and allow the compromise to occur. Often this is the "easy" way out and we try to pass it off as a "necessary" evil or "no big thing". These excuses are flimsy and that knot in our stomach is telling us as such.

I have heard stories of people that have compromised their marriages, their children, their jobs, everything to reach a goal that in their mind they have figured was worth it. Ultimately when they reach that goal it turns into a hollow victory because they have no one important to them left to celebrate with or they feel even more unfulfilled. The goal turned out not to be worth all the compromises, as if they had been lied to.

I thought about that all day, thinking about those crockpots in my kitchen simmering away, just not feeling right. I get home and stir the pots, unplugging them to get them ready for the fridge, and I decide to taste them. I was in for a shock. The chili was not mild as I had belly-ached over, but turned rather spicy as the day wore on. I felt better knowing that even though I changed the recipe to try to meet the approval of the masses, I had in fact created a chili that I actually was proud of. Quickly I emailed the coordinator of the cook-off and asked her to change my placard from "Traditional-Mild" to "Traditional-Spicy".

I may not win an award tonight, but at least I am going to be serving a chili that I had not compromised my belief in.Whether it's putting a item back in the right place at the grocery store instead of just anywhere to refusing to "fudge" something on a document - stand firm on your beliefs, don't compromise! You'll love yourself for it!


"Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." Romans 12:2, NLT


MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Friday, September 18, 2009

Involuntary Movements

Like I've mentioned before, I see A LOT of roadkill on my way into work in the mornings. From deer to possum to rabbit, either on the side of the road or in the middle of it - the carnage strewn over the highway lanes. I've never, however, seen roadkill that was STILL ALIVE until yesterday morning.

While on my way to work I noticed some movement out on the left side of the road. I passed the area of the movement and saw a raccoon on its side, right leg & arm in a constant twitching motion. I was creeped out and a bit horrified by the sight. Obviously the raccoon was the victim of a vehicle collision and the twitching was an involuntary muscle spasm. I got to work and all I could really do was think of that raccoon for the first 1/2 hour or so of the day. Sure it was a gruesome way to start the day but I think some good came of it.

How many times have we gone through life with some of our own 'involuntary' responses to things that happen around or to us? How often have we taken the negative road when something bad happens to us instead of trusting and looking for a positive? How often do we automatically ignore those that are different from us or defensive when someone criticizes us? How often have we decided to stay within our "comfort zone" and it's involuntary responses rather than step out and try something new or different?

I think of that song by Matthew West, "The Motions":
"I don't wanna go through the motions I don't wanna go one more day..."

The whole song talks about living day in and day out in a "comfort zone" of sorts where everything is predictable, where things happen in an almost-automatic fashion. And yet the singer wishes to break free from that, understanding the risk & pain involved with stepping out of that "comfort zone" & really living life.

When I think of someone that stepped out of his own "comfort zone" and into the world of the unknown, I think of my namesake Matthew from the bible. I've noted about Matthew before and how I can really relate to him. Matthew (or his prior name, Levi) was a tax collector - a MUCH-HATED person among the Jews. All that changed in an instant when Jesus told him to become his disciple. It said that Levi got up, left everything, & followed Jesus.

I can imagine that Matthew was wealthy, often tax collectors of his day charged exorbitant taxes & fees - far above that which was required of the Roman Empire - in order to line their own pockets. I'm sure he had friends within the Roman Empire & among the weathier Jews as well. Time filled with wine, women, song, & wealth. But Matthew decided to make a change, to step away from what was familiar to him - what was comfortable - and stepped into the unknown. To go from involuntary living to a life of adventure & discovery.

Is your life a series of involuntary movements? Come with me, step away from your "comfort zone" and step into an adventure! Just like Matthew, you WON'T be sorry...


"Later, as Jesus left the town, he saw a tax collector named Levi sitting at his tax collector’s booth. “Follow me and be my disciple,” Jesus said to him. So Levi got up, left everything, and followed him." Luke 5:27-28, NLT

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Friday, September 11, 2009

Just Being Human...

I've started reading a new book today, well I should say that I've started listening to a new book today while out on my noon walk. The book is entitled "Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections Between Sexuality & Spirituality" by Rob Bell (pastor of Mars Hill Bible Church & creator/host of the NOOMA DVD series). I "read" his first book, "Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith", which I thought was interesting as well. Although I have just begun the book, there was one story that moved me.

He relays a story from the diary of a Lt. Col. that was sent into the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp after its liberation at the end of WWII. His diary recounts the atrocities he and his fellow soldiers witnessed while there, piles of dead bodies, women choking on their own vomit because they were too weak to roll over, just horrible things that make you wonder how human beings could allow such a place to exist. But Rob had earlier made a point that the concentration camps were designed to remove the "humanity" from the prisoners, reducing them to just numbers and not individuals.

Later in the diary, the Lt. Col. writes this passage after the British Red Cross arrive with supplies that included for some reason a large container filled with red lipstick:"I don’t know who asked for lipstick. I wish so much that I could discover who did it, it was the action of genius, sheer unadulterated brilliance. I believe nothing did more for these internees than the lipstick. Women lay in bed with no sheets and no nightie but with scarlet red lips, you saw them wandering about with nothing but a blanket over their shoulders, but with scarlet red lips. I saw a woman dead on the post mortem table and clutched in her hand was a piece of lipstick. At last someone had done something to make them individuals again, they were someone, no longer merely the number tattooed on the arm. At last they could take an interest in their appearance. That lipstick started to give them back their humanity."

Looking at it from a customer service point-of-view, how many times have we just looked at customers as a 'nuisance' or just an account number, becoming so jaded from the abuse resulting from their frustrations or problems. How often do we really step back and try to look at the situation through their eyes, giving them that 'humanity', trying to understand where they are coming from?

"I'd love my job if it weren't for the customers..." Randall, "Clerks"

Hell, I've been abused more times than I care to count in all the years I have worked in the customer service sector. I've been verbally & physically assaulted because of people's anxiety or frustration & their previous contact with uncaring persons. Even I have been stripped of my 'humanity' in these situations, not known as a caring or feeling person but rather a part of 'the company' that's trying to rip them off or screw them around.

Like it or not, we ALL were created in the image of God whether you choose to believe it or not. Being kind to your fellow man (or woman) shows your love for your creator. Think about that the next time you come across someone having a bad time of things and lashing out at those around them. Love them, help them (if you can), give them some 'humanity' as you deal with them...

"So God created human beings in his own image.In the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them." Gen 1:27, NLT

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Friday, September 04, 2009

Deceiving Looks

Bren had a bit of a harrowing experience yesterday with a vehicle we were considering purchasing. From the Craigslist ad to the actual visual inspection of the outside of the vehicle, it looked to fit the bill for everything we were hoping for. It wasn't until we had an expert look at the vehicle more in-depth that the real dangers were revealed.The vehicle seemed perfect with no rust, a great sound system, even a sunroof option. We as humans often look at the outside and make our judgments based on that rather than looking to more important things that would give us a better indicator as to our judgment of people or things.

The report from the mechanic was not favorable at all. Even though the outside of the vehicle looked great, it was the inside of the vehicle (the inner workings) that was filled with trouble. Here's a list of some of the things:

- Both upper & lower ball joints needed replacing- The ENTIRE exhaust system needed replacing
- The battery was loose inside the engine compartment (not tied down - very dangerous)
- The rear brakes were almost gone (literally)
- Many other things that the mechanic found but didn't list out

He didn't really feel comfortable letting such an unsafe vehicle leave the lot & Bren white-knuckled it back to the owner's house praying all the way.

On the other hand, looking at the vehicle we have currently, it looks like a tired POS with random stains on the seats & carpet, missing material from the roof, 3 missing hubcaps, peeling paint & other cosmetic issues that make it seem that's it's not worth or safe to drive. BUT, it has a new exhaust system, new tires, new engine (with only 50,000 miles on it), the outside looks like crap but the inner workings are top-notch.

People walk around all the time looking like everything's going their way or presenting themselves as being "with it" or "having it all" when on the inside they are a complete wreck either emotionally or physically. Teetering on the edge of collapse or worse, the world judges them as being successful and an example for others to lust after. I recall an old miner's saying, "All that glitters is not gold..."

Whether it's a car, a job, or meeting a new person, be sure to "look under the hood" before you make any rash judgments... You may be surprised at what you find...

"But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”" 1 Sam 16:7, NLT

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Friday, August 14, 2009

"What I've felt..."

"What I've known,
Never shined through in what I've shown.
Never free,
Never me,
So I dub thee UNFORGIVEN..." - Metallica, "Unforgiven"

"It is not the quantity of people you know; it is the quality of the connections with them." - Rabbi Daniel Lapin

I was thinking about this situation Bren and I had dealt with fairly recently. For the longest time we had struggled with the thought that we didn't try hard enough or give the situation enough time to see results. We felt like failures in a sense, as if there was something wrong with us. But oddly enough, we found solace in talking to others that had experienced what we had. Their stories of trying for even longer than us and (as strangely as this sounds) their own story of failing in the same situation comforted us. It helped us to realize that although there were some things we could have done a little differently, by and large it probably wouldn't have given us what we were looking for.

Rabbi Lapin had the above nugget in his weekly newsletter that I subscribe to. The whole newsletter spoke about loneliness & how man was not created to be alone. He brought up an interesting point, in the old testament when cherubs are mentioned - there are always 2 , not one. After Adam & Eve were banished from Eden, 2 cherubs were sent to protect the entrance. On the ark of the covenant, 2 cherubs are located on the cover. 2 of each animal ended up on the ark of Noah. Paul in the new testament speaks often about lifting eachother up and encouraging one another. Connecting with others to not only share the love of Christ, but also to share in eachother's experiences & troubles.

It's important that we connect with eachother. Paul explains that although we are one body in Christ, we are all different parts of that body. Because we are different doesn't mean that one is more superior than the other, it means that we are ALL important whether we are a "hand", a "foot", or an "eye". By making connections with others, we can enrich our own lives and expand our knowledge by enjoying eachothers unique qualities & gifts.

Yesterday I sent an email to someone about setting up a small group in our home. I've facilitated FPU classes, helped teach classes, & we've hosted the occasional prayer group. Bren & I felt led to send out this request in order to make some real, genuine, & solid connections with fellow believers in Christ. We pray that this is where God is leading us...

How are your connections? Are they strong or in need of some repair?

"Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”" - Gen 2:18, NLT

"Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!" Romans 12:16, NLT

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Rotten From The Inside...

The road I travel to work in the morning is a magnet for animal traffic as well. I've witnessed all sorts of animals cross the road, from birds to rabbits to even deer (had a close-encounter with a deer close to a month ago). Unfortunately many animals don't make it and it takes a while for the highway department to clean up the massacre. I've been noticing a raccoon carcass off to the side of the road the past few weeks. Everyday I've been able to notice the subtle changes to it. Witnessing nature's recycling, seeing it change from a carcass to just fur & bones. Gross, I know, but I think about that and how it applies to our own lives.

Seeing that animal reminds me of the story of Dorian Gray, a horror story written by Oscar Wilde. The tale told of the story of Dorian Gray and his fascination with a painting someone had painted of him. Lamenting that the beauty of his visage found in that painting would be lost in himself as he aged, he made a deal to sell his soul in return that the painting would age and he would retain his youthful good looks. Becoming a depraved individual, Dorian fell into gross debauchery with no regard to the consequences. 18 years had past, Dorian still looking his youthful self, locked in an attic for years he revealed the painting to the painter - a sickening sight. The painting had aged and acquired the signs, scars, & effects of every debauched act that Dorian committed. Eventually Dorian had enough and tried to destroy the painting, killing himself in the process.

So what's that got to do with anything? I suppose the analogy would be that any thing that we "try" to hide will eventually be found out - no matter how "good" we are at hiding it. Corporations have crumbled due to "cooking their books" to look profitable on paper but reality catches up. People have been caught in their own web of lies, I think of stories like Vanilla Ice (lied about being from "da hood"), James Frey (his book, "A Million Little Pieces" ended up on Oprah's reading list and he gained fame & fortune, but was found to be a fraud and his "real life" book fictional), or a Vietnam vet I read about recently that had many honors given to him by local and national foundations over the years only to find out that his service was questionable & the medals he claimed he received were purchased from surplus stores.

We may put on a good "front" that we want the world to see, a "front" of success/wealth/happiness. But like a house of cards, it's only a matter of time before the whole thing collapses and the truth comes to light...

"Truthful words stand the test of time,but lies are soon exposed." - Prov 12:19, NLT


MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Friday, June 12, 2009

Reaching...

The fish are jumping all over Lake Macatawa. I see them everytime I pass by the black lake on my walks. Large carp & catfish leaping out of the water, reaching for that tasty morsel that is just above them. I'm still jumping on my weightloss journey, still reaching for that next level. How about you? Are you reaching for that next level or have you fallen back into a "woe is me" attitude because you've fallen off the trail?

Never say quit. I've gotten off track myself. Hell, today is the first day in 2 weeks that I am actually writing down my food & exercise. But I won't quit. I may be down, but I won't be down for long. I have too much riding on my successful weightloss to throw it all away. I have too many people I need to encourage and inspire to change their lives for the better. I've got too many friends and family members counting on me to stick with this.

Jump with me, jump up to that next level, that tasty morsel of pounds lost or clothes size decreases. I've heard it before, nothing tastes as good as thin feels...


MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Friday, June 05, 2009

Toxic People...

I read an article the other day that talks about 8 different toxic personalities and why to avoid them. I identified several of these types of personalities in friends and acquaintances that I think are contributing to keeping me from my full potential. Here's the article, tell me which personalities can you see in the people you associate with:

8 Toxic Personalities To Avoid


MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Thursday, May 28, 2009

It works if you work it...

I was thinking about that today. I joined an online think-tank type website that is a pool of people that gather together to share ideas and ask questions. I thought it might help me with developing some sort of product, service, or inspire some writing ideas to help get my little company (413 Fitness Concepts) off the ground. But I haven't had any success with it. I get emails from the group from time to time but really haven't reached my expectations from the group. But then it hit me - I haven't been an active participant. If I expect to get something out of the group, I need to expect to jump in and use the resources of the group.

On the subject of 'working a program', I've gotten a bit off track with my weightloss recently. For one reason or another I just haven't felt all that motivated. I have been keeping up with my morning exercise and afternoon walks but haven't gone for a run in about a week. I am thankful that I have kept up with some exercise but haven't keep a food diary for at least a month. I got a new food scale for my birthday but have yet to use it. And yet I am afraid to get on the scale tomorrow for my weekly weigh-in knowing that I've been off-track. The number tomorrow shouldn't be a surprise, I haven't been working my personal program so how can I expect a weightloss?

Bren told me a couple of weeks ago about an aquaintance that had bragged about being in this month's issue of Reader's Digest because of her weightloss. She had been (still is) on one of those medical 'milkshake' diet programs and had lost 100 or so pounds. The way it was portrayed to Bren was that this person was going to have a story in the magazine. Bren thought, "Geez, my husband lost over 200lbs on his own without some special diet. He should be the one getting a story in RD!" Well, Bren got her hands on a copy of RD and found not a story but rather a 1-page advert for the diet program with her picture featured.

Why bring this up? Well, for one I have decided that one of my goals is to get a story in RD on my weightloss accomplishment and for second she was on a program and worked it. Using the tools and following the guidelines she met her goal. It works if you work it...

Where does that leave me? Well, it leaves me with the choice - the choice to get back up and dust myself off or continue to wallow. I choose to get back up.A side note - I got the story on Kirstie Alley and how she packed the pounds back on. Apparently when her contract ended with Nutri-System, she fell back into her old eating habits. That particular program doesn't deal with behavior-modification I guess...

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Consequences...

Having to deal with some consequences of an insured already this morning. From time to time insurance companies run what are called in the industry UDI reports - Undisclosed Driver Information. We as agents can do the same thing, the reports are generated from the Secretary of State's database of registered vehicles and drivers in the state of Michigan.

I can type in an address and it will give me all of the vehicles and drivers listed at that particular address. This is helpful when people can't give me their spouse's drivers license or don't have access to their vehicle's VIN (for quoting purposes).

Anyway, one of our insurance companies has been running UDIs for the past week and coming up with drivers not rated on auto policies. It's up to us as agents to contact the insured to find out if the person is a member of the household and has coverage elsewhere. It's up to the insured to provide the information as far as other residency or other coverage. Most of these cases have been children that have gotten licenses but the parents "forgot" to call the agency to add them to the policy. This happens often when insureds are trying to save a buck.

One particular UDI I got today was a WOW moment. Can't give details, but parents will not be happy with the insurance premium if they cannot prove other residency or coverage elsewhere. It's THAT bad...

Consequences for our actions. My wife and I are constantly trying to instill this in our son. Don't clean your room = no Xbox 360 for a week. Spend all your money at the dollar store = no money for garage sales on Saturday. I myself am still learning the concept of consequences, don't exercise & overeat your daily calories = weight gain. Wait until the last minute to mow the lawn = a super-heavy overfilled yard waste dumpster. Listen to crap in the morning = poor attitude all day.

Sooner or later our actions will catch up to us with the consequences. Some may not be immediate, they may appear over time - but make no mistake, the consequences of our actions will come.

Like my wife and I ask Javan almost daily - "Are you going to make the right choice today?"


MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Friday, May 15, 2009

What's Your Trigger??

There are different triggers for different people that cause them to run to food for comfort. There are a few big ones that I have dealt with (and still continue to struggle with):

Stress – Although I am getting better, I deal rather poorly with stress. I used to delve into food as a lifesaver from the “drowning” feeling I sometimes get when feeling pressured or stressed out. At the time, a family-size deluxe nachos with extra salsa & sour cream made the pressure seem to float away with the lofty aroma of the seasoned beef & cheese, but ultimately it only made things worse. Thus the cycle would roll into another trigger: guilt.

Guilt – another trigger that many people deal with, guilt can be just as bad as stress. Whether the guilt is deserved or a “phantom’ guilt, either one can be dangerous to your journey.

Emotions – If you are a very emotional person, this one will get you every time. I always seem to eat when I am in a poor mood. Eating out of disappointment, sadness, loneliness, if my spirits are low I thought that food could lift me above the mire and out into the sunshine of happiness. Honestly I have never heard of someone bingeing because they were happy; bingeing seems to occur when bad things happen to us.

Boredom – We all seem to fall into this trigger from time to time. Flipping through the channels with a bag of chips or popcorn, staring blankly into the refrigerator, nibbling on munchies at work in the lulls of the afternoon.

Habit – Buffalo wings at the bowling alley, that extra piece of cake at the wedding reception, 3 trips to the Chinese buffet, I’m sure you can think of other social situations where your unconscious habits tend to be on “auto-pilot”.

In all of these situations you need to take a step back and make some conscious choices. You need to rationally think and pray about these and other potential over-eating triggers. If you tend to over-eat at a buffet, then in the beginning of your journey you need to avoid going to a buffet restaurant and stick with a take-out or sit-down restaurant until you feel comfortable in your walk to venture into those types of places.

If stress is your downfall, then prayer and relaxation needs to be your alternative to food. Listen to a nature sounds CD, go for a brisk walk and praise God for the work He is doing in your life. Talk it out; rationalize whether or not this stress is real or misplaced. Sometimes we stress about things that we either have no control over or are not responsible for.

Emotional eating is a difficult (but not impossible) trigger to avoid. With your support system in place, you will have that as a substitute for the “comfort” foods you used to run to. Don’t leave feelings bottled up inside, talk to your pastor, friend, or find a counselor to help you through what ever you are experiencing. Don’t forget to include the ultimate counselor, Jesus Christ, whenever you feel down, depressed, or disappointed.

Bad habits take time to break; the apparent “rule” is that it takes 21 days for something to become a habit. So it will take 21 days of trial and error to break yourself of your old habits and form new ones.

Boredom can be combated with things like a new hobby, reading a book, listening to an inspirational CD, fill that empty void with something that will improve and enrich your life.

I myself still struggle with many of these triggers, but I am getting better everyday. Keep your eye on the prize to a healthier, happier you and the pull of these triggers will lessen. They may never go away but their strength will be diminished if you actively pursue alternative solutions to beat them.


MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Tulip Time Run Results...

Bib #419
Name Matthew Vanderplow
Residence Location Zeeland MI
Sex M
Age Division 35-39
Current Age 35
Chip Time 43:16
Clock Time 43:16
Overall Place 427th
Sex Place 270th
Age Division Place 18th
Global Division Place 30.4%

Soooooo, what does all that mean?
- I didn't place last overall (485 contestants, I passed at least 12 people including 2 teenage girls, 2 teenage guys, and a plethora of kids)
- I didn't place last for the men (303 male contestants, although a lot of the "men" were kids from some youth group that decided to try the 5k instead of the kid's fun run)
- I didn't place last in my division (20 males, 35-39 age division, even I was shocked)
- I placed in the 30.4% of other 35-39 males that completed a 5k race in the same timeframe around the globe (anything over 60%, or a time of 22 minutes would place me in the normal class for my age group)

There was 1 first in there, I wasn't last for my age division. All this on a bum ankle... Well, onto the next race!


MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Entitlement...

I read an article the other day and shared it on my podcast, 'The Fattening of America" about airlines beginning to charge overweight passengers more for passage on their planes. They reason that if you cannot fit into one seat, you should be required to purchase the additional seat you will be occupying.

Now I can see some backlash coming down the pipe with this arrangement. Some lawyer could create a class-action suit claiming discrimination on the airline's behalf by making obese people (the poor people that cannot stop themselves from being obese) pay more for their flights. As if they have entitlement to not having to pay more.

Hey, 5 years ago I would have had to pay extra for a seat on an aircraft and probably wouldn't have made a stink about it. It's embarrassing enough to have to ask for an additional seat plus a seatbelt extender. It was my own fault I became obese and being "soft" on me is no way to help me make better choices but rather it would only allow me to wallow in my obesity.

Maybe I'm rambling, but we all have choices to make. Sometimes we make the right choices and other times we do not. We need to pay for the consequences of those choices regardless. If that means paying more for health insurance or an airline ticket - so be it. Maybe by hitting people where it hurts most - the pocketbook - we could begin a trend of people making healthier choices in their lives and reduce our nation's obesity ranks.


MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

My race results...

Bib #138
Name Matthew Vanderplow
Residence Location Zeeland MI
Sex M
Age Division 35-39
Current Age 35
Chip Time 41:35
Clock Time 41:48
Overall Place 74th
Sex Place 37
Age Division Place 5
Global Division Place 31.7%

Soooooo, what does all that mean?
- I didn't place last overall (79 contestants, I passed 4 people including 2 teenage girls)
- I didn't place last for the men (38 male contestants, I passed an older gentleman that really tried hard)
- I did place last in my division (5 males, 35-39 age division, I was twice the time of another 35yr old)
- I placed in the 31.7% of other 35-39 males that completed a 5k race in the same timeframe around the globe (anything over 60%, or a time of 22 minutes would place me in the normal class for my age group)

ANDDDDDDDDD, according to the computer chip I was 6 minutes and 12 seconds FASTER than my first 5k race time. This is a HUGE deal to me, my hard work is starting to pay off. I am beginning to see results both on the scale and with my endurance. Wished I had some of my friends there to celebrate with, today was definitely a day to celebrate...


MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Life in general...

I recall a quote that I read once from a soldier that returned from duty in Iraq, "Every day above ground is a good day..."

How often do we wake in the morning and set ourselves up for failure? Wake up late, hurry and get dressed, complain about traffic, get to work on time (barely), sit and stew for 8 hours, go home and talk about how sh*tty a day it was.

The old computer axiom is still valid today - "garbage in/garbage out". It's what we set our minds on that determines our day.

So tell me, what are you setting your mind on today? Another day of failure? Another day of regret?


MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Friday, April 03, 2009

Lose, Fatboy, Lose Update - March 2009

Got up in a bad mood this morning. Bren had gotten up with Logan @ 1am and here it was 4am and he was up again. After trying to calm him down in our bed I decided to just take him with me into the living room so that Bren could get some more sleep before getting up for work. I really wanted to run this morning but with Logan being as clingy as he was, I would have to skip running today.

Logan was still fussy and when he finally fell asleep I tried to put him in his bed, but he awoke the minute I laid him down and started wailing all over again. Had to skip exercise because by the time he was in a deep enough sleep, it was time to get ready for work. I grumbled and groaned as I got on the scale and saw the 314lb number, blaming Logan for not allowing me to exercise or run that morning to provide a more accurate reading (I always weigh in after my morning exercise and before I get dressed). But that was the wrong attitude, he's teething and can't help waking up in pain and needing comfort. So I missed running this morning - it was rainy & cold, I can make up for it tomorrow. The exercise can be done tonight when I get home from work, will be good to shake off the sluggishness I feel after sitting in an office chair for 8 hours a day.

I'll weigh in soon to get a more accurate reading, no biggie.

But it's always been more than numbers on a scale to me. Sometimes I think that shows like "The Biggest Loser" are counter-productive by instilling the impression that losing only 2 or 3 pounds a week is not a good thing. The safest weight loss has always been 1-2lbs a week, and that is for long-term weightloss (keeping it off).

Looking to my right I see the application for the next 5k race coming up. I was on the fence on whether or not to compete, but the more I think about it the more I have the desire to do it. On March 16 I competed in my first 5k race in over a year. 47:47 was my time, a time that I am damn proud of. Proud because of 2 things - I completed the race and I never stopped running. Others may have beaten my time even with stopping to fast-walk, but I never quit. It's the same with my weightloss journey - I WILL NEVER QUIT. A big thanks to those that supported me at the finish line - Bren, Javan, Logan, Nick, & Gary (sorry you had the time mixed up, I know you were there in spirit!). I'll post event details for the next race, hopefully I can have an even bigger crowd this time around!

I'm only one week away from completing my first intervals series from Podrunner.com, thanks to the program I am able to run for 30min non-stop which is a HUGE accomplishment for me. I've had to forgo working out at the aquatic center because of the limitations of their treadmills, which now with the better weather ahead I am not lamenting one bit about doing the workouts on the road.

Sitting here listening to "Brian Wilson" by Barenaked Ladies and thinking about the line in the song, "Lyin' in bed, just like Brian Wilson did..." I don't know the whole story behind the line but am familiar that the former Beach Boy spent an entire year in bed battling mental illness and depression. He gained a lot of weight during that time as if he just gave up on life and found comfort in the most basest of needs. Truth be told, I've thought about giving up. Having trouble staying on task, not seeing the scale needle move in the direction I want it to go, seeing others succeeding at their endeavors - the excuses seem to keep piling up.

But the reasons outweigh the excuses. I have people looking up to me, I have a wife and 2 sons that look up to me, I have an innate desire to inspire, encourage, & help people. I have mission to fulfill. I am realizing that more and more as I write blogs, as I produce podcasts & videos, as I look at those around me and see the need.

Take care, my friends and supporters. Think of me in the coming weeks as I take a hard look at my exercise routine to increase my strength and endurance.

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

PS - Anyone have a lead on used bikes (less than $50)? Unfortunately my Walmart cruiser will need to be retired (costs more to fix than it's worth)...

Friday, March 27, 2009

Getting ahead...

I've been afraid of getting ahead. Sabotaging my successes to avoid moving to a different level, thinking I was undeserving of such. I listened to a podcast the other day that drove that point home for me.

Dan Miller on a recent podcast mentioned having a rather famous sports "bad boy" moving into his neighborhood. It wasn't until this person moved in that Dan had ever seen police out in his neck of the woods. He mentioned many other highly-paid sports figures that tended to get into trouble and end up in jail or in court. He said they were subconsciously sabotaging their success because they themselves didn't believe they were worth what they have been paid. By getting into trouble they are sending a message to their coaches and team owners of "Hey, I know I'm not worth it and you know I'm not worth it..."

For years I've lived with a low self-esteem and negative self-worth. Once I began to lose weight and started to get noticed by the media and others is when things started breaking down for me. I am ill-equipped to handle success because I somehow feel undeserving of it. Years of broken dreams, broken hearts, and ridicule had resigned me to a life of "just getting to tomorrow".

I am thankful that I realize the problem and am beginning to put together a plan to eradicate those feelings and replace them with a "can-do" attitude.

Feeling like you're not worth it? Guess what? No matter what others say, situations you're in, you ARE worth it! Today is your day!


MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Being Bold...

"Put a grain of boldness into everything you do." - Baltasar Gracian

There comes a time when we need to be bold in our lives. A time when we need to say to ourselves that enough is enough and its time to take a stand. Will 2009 be the time when you finally stand up and be bold?

"Freedom lies in being bold." - Robert Frost


MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com