"And let go of what I've done..." - Linkin Park, "What I've Done"
Bren & I are fans of "The Biggest Loser", so you can find us on Tuesday nights at home in front of the idiot box cheering/crying/yelling at those we love & love-to-hate on the show. Last night one team was allowed to go home for a week, which was both a blessing & a curse to each member. Being secluded on campus with access to a gym & ONLY healthy options for food , it's easy to lose weight and drop huge numbers. In the real world filled with temptations even bigger than those during challenges and limited access to a gym or swimming pool - the struggle to lose weight is greater and more difficult.
The one thing that reminded me so much of my former-self were the clips of both Dina & Shay going out to eat with their families. Both of them were dumb-founded and shocked at the meals people were eating around them. Gently prodding her husband to get a doggy-bag for the rest of his massive burrito, Dina got the response "Doggy-bags are for dessert" as he shoved another forkful in his mouth. Shay was dismayed as her family ate greasy chicken fingers, ranch dressing, chicken wings, many of the things she used to enjoy. She had a sad epiphany, her stepchildren were eating like this because that's what they had seen her eat over the years. She taught them by example and she was both ashamed & saddened by that.
And I thought about the things I used to do to abuse myself. All the extra orders of fries, burgers, 2-liters, gallons of ice cream I downed in one sitting without a second thought. Here's an example of a typical fast food order for myself - this was just MY order:
Whopper w/ cheese, heavy pickle & ketchup
Cheeseburger, heavy pickle & ketchup
King-size fry King-size onion ring
King-size Dr. Pepper
Chocolate pie (not the usual, but often)
I could down all of this in one sitting, over 3000 calories of food, and not blink twice. Buffets were to me a paradise of gluttony. I could simply eat plate after plate after plate after plate, only stopping when I felt the food begin to come back up. And then stick my hand into a bag of chips when I got home from the restaurant. Food became (and still is) my drug-of-choice when dealing with stress or depression in my life. I've often said that it may in many cases be easier for a smoker or alcoholic to quit their addictions because they do not need those vices in order to live. Food addicts have to struggle with their choices everyday because food is needed for the sustainability of life.
Often when Bren and I go out to eat now, we typically share a meal (unless it's a special occasion). It wouldn't be uncommon to see us out at Logan's Roadhouse with the following at our table:
Logan's Roadhouse 8oz sirloin (split in half)
Side of fries (for Bren)
Small Caesar salad (for me)
Coke or ice water (for Bren)
Unsweetened iced tea w/ lemon (for me)
It's satisfying but not over-filling. I am sure there are those that read this note and think I'm crazy or nutty, but I'm not who I was. I am constantly learning how to eat properly, a lesson that I am continually reminded of. I have to tell myself each and every day that I'm not that guy anymore, I don't need food for comfort when I have a bad day. Food isn't going to fix the depression I am feeling at this moment.
I need to remember my past has been blotted out. I AM a new creation...
"He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west." Ps 103:12, NLT
"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!" 2 Cor 5:17, NLT
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Friday, October 23, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
10/16/09 - Cookie Cutters
While checking my email online or going to Facebook I noticed some things recently. It seems that all the advertisements that help keep those sources free have to do with one thing - weightloss. I've been bombarded with ads for pills, surgery centers, shakes, all sorts of other gimmicks touted to help me shed tons of weight.
I chalked it up to "keyword ads", taking words from my email signature or from my profile to generate the ads that I see. I got to thinking about it. How many people have been "suckered" into claims of losing tons of weight only to be disappointed and disillusioned when it doesn't work for them?
We are all different, we have been gifted in many different ways. Honestly there really isn't a true "cookie cutter" way to lose weight other than to take in less calories than you expend. Your personality, your strengths & weaknesses, likes & dislikes will all help you determine what plan of action works best for you.
Dan Miller (www.48days.com) talks sometimes about finding your passion rather than finding a lucrative career. One example he often gives is that of the Subway franchise, one of the hottest restaurant franchises out there. Just because it's a hot franchise doesn't mean that it will instantly make you money. Franchise owners have a business plan & support from a larger corporation but its up to them to make it work. Many owners spend upwards of 70-80hrs a week at their stores, dealing with employee turnover, inventory, etc. Is your personality geared toward something like that? I know I couldn't handle something like that, the stress would be incredible...
You need to sit down and go over who you are. With the answers you receive, look around at the different weightloss plans & products and try to find one that fits you. Of course modification will be necessary, but find something you can accomplish and works with you. You'll be on your way to weightloss in no time...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
I chalked it up to "keyword ads", taking words from my email signature or from my profile to generate the ads that I see. I got to thinking about it. How many people have been "suckered" into claims of losing tons of weight only to be disappointed and disillusioned when it doesn't work for them?
We are all different, we have been gifted in many different ways. Honestly there really isn't a true "cookie cutter" way to lose weight other than to take in less calories than you expend. Your personality, your strengths & weaknesses, likes & dislikes will all help you determine what plan of action works best for you.
Dan Miller (www.48days.com) talks sometimes about finding your passion rather than finding a lucrative career. One example he often gives is that of the Subway franchise, one of the hottest restaurant franchises out there. Just because it's a hot franchise doesn't mean that it will instantly make you money. Franchise owners have a business plan & support from a larger corporation but its up to them to make it work. Many owners spend upwards of 70-80hrs a week at their stores, dealing with employee turnover, inventory, etc. Is your personality geared toward something like that? I know I couldn't handle something like that, the stress would be incredible...
You need to sit down and go over who you are. With the answers you receive, look around at the different weightloss plans & products and try to find one that fits you. Of course modification will be necessary, but find something you can accomplish and works with you. You'll be on your way to weightloss in no time...
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Friday, October 09, 2009
Starting Fresh (again...)
Was switching around my radio presets this morning to find some music for Logan & I to lsten to on the way to daycare and came across a preset that I hadn't listen to in a while. I love music in general, some genres more than others but I am willing to give them a chance and can see their merits. This particular station used to play the "moldie oldies" from the 1950's and early 1960's (before psychedelia took over). The DJs were of that generation and the morning guys really tended to "play up" the wackiness that used to be found on the dial back in the day. Switching to that preset found me ear-to-ear with "The Bob & Tom Show", a syndicated radio show based out of Indianapolis, IN.
Apparently the station had switched its format from one of "the golden age of Rock & Roll" to that of more of a "classic hits" appeal that encompasses music from the 60's through 90's. The morning wacky DJs were gone, in their stead was a program that more truely fit the demographic of their target audience. Kind of reminded me of the film, "AirHeads", in which one of the sub-plots of the movie was a heavy metal rock station was in the process of changing formats to that of a lite rock station - unknown to the DJs or other staff members. My thoughts came back to that of people I knew in elementary school that came back from summer vacation and entered middle school totally changed. Their appearance, clothing, everything seemed to change in a brief period of time. Seeing it as time to start over, start fresh, try on a new persona with a new crowd.
Sometimes we aren't given the choice on whether or not to start fresh. Sometimes life seems to make that decision for us and we are left starting at level zero. Oftentimes we get down about it, thinking about all that we had lost instead of seeing the opportunities ahead of us. I remember a time in my life where things came crashing down and I literally had to start from zero. I had lost friends, respect, job, there wasn't much more that could have been taken from me other than my freedom. But looking back these many years later, I see it now as my time to start fresh. Many of the old aspects of my life had been cut away, the things that may have been keeping me down were now gone. It was a long road of rebuilding, but along that road I found a new job, my first "real" girlfriend (and first wife), a lot of firsts and renewals came to me.
I think of a couple of bible characters that ended up starting fresh (again...):
Noah - God told him to build and ark for him, his family, & the animals. Noah started fresh with repopulating the earth
Job - Due to no fault of his own (other than being born), Job lost everything. After a time of suffering & questioning, he started fresh again and flourished
Matthew - Burned a ton of bridges when he left his tax stand to follow Christ. Many, many, many people have come to know Christ because of his life starting fresh
Paul - Once the most merciless & feared man among Christians, God allowed him to start fresh leading many people (even ones today) into a relationship with Christ
Are you going through a "pruning" in your life? Dreading having to start fresh (again...)? It may not be as bad as you think!
"The LORD blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the first. He had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen and a thousand donkeys. And he also had seven sons and three daughters. The first daughter he named Jemimah, the second Keziah and the third Keren-Happuch. Nowhere in all the land were there found women as beautiful as Job's daughters, and their father granted them an inheritance along with their brothers." Job 42:12-15, NLT
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Apparently the station had switched its format from one of "the golden age of Rock & Roll" to that of more of a "classic hits" appeal that encompasses music from the 60's through 90's. The morning wacky DJs were gone, in their stead was a program that more truely fit the demographic of their target audience. Kind of reminded me of the film, "AirHeads", in which one of the sub-plots of the movie was a heavy metal rock station was in the process of changing formats to that of a lite rock station - unknown to the DJs or other staff members. My thoughts came back to that of people I knew in elementary school that came back from summer vacation and entered middle school totally changed. Their appearance, clothing, everything seemed to change in a brief period of time. Seeing it as time to start over, start fresh, try on a new persona with a new crowd.
Sometimes we aren't given the choice on whether or not to start fresh. Sometimes life seems to make that decision for us and we are left starting at level zero. Oftentimes we get down about it, thinking about all that we had lost instead of seeing the opportunities ahead of us. I remember a time in my life where things came crashing down and I literally had to start from zero. I had lost friends, respect, job, there wasn't much more that could have been taken from me other than my freedom. But looking back these many years later, I see it now as my time to start fresh. Many of the old aspects of my life had been cut away, the things that may have been keeping me down were now gone. It was a long road of rebuilding, but along that road I found a new job, my first "real" girlfriend (and first wife), a lot of firsts and renewals came to me.
I think of a couple of bible characters that ended up starting fresh (again...):
Noah - God told him to build and ark for him, his family, & the animals. Noah started fresh with repopulating the earth
Job - Due to no fault of his own (other than being born), Job lost everything. After a time of suffering & questioning, he started fresh again and flourished
Matthew - Burned a ton of bridges when he left his tax stand to follow Christ. Many, many, many people have come to know Christ because of his life starting fresh
Paul - Once the most merciless & feared man among Christians, God allowed him to start fresh leading many people (even ones today) into a relationship with Christ
Are you going through a "pruning" in your life? Dreading having to start fresh (again...)? It may not be as bad as you think!
"The LORD blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the first. He had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen and a thousand donkeys. And he also had seven sons and three daughters. The first daughter he named Jemimah, the second Keziah and the third Keren-Happuch. Nowhere in all the land were there found women as beautiful as Job's daughters, and their father granted them an inheritance along with their brothers." Job 42:12-15, NLT
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
Friday, October 02, 2009
Compromises...
Yesterday morning I began preparing my chili for the Zeeland Pumpkinfest cook-off and had been feeling a bit down about it. This is my 4th year competing in the competition, my 4th attempt to at least place, my 4th different recipe to present. I can't really say that it's a "true" competition in that the judges are the general public and not culinary experts/restauranteurs/professional chefs as you would see in other cook-offs. I say "true" in that fashion because the popular vote defeats (at least in my opinion) what I consider chili to be. "People-pleasing" chili at these contests means a mild, almost weak chili bordering on soup. My mantra when it comes to chili is, "Chili that isn't spicy is just bean soup..."
In trying a new recipe I cut back on the spice in an attempt to create something that would be palatable & hopefully pleasing to the cadre of elderly that tend to show up at these contests (for the "free meal"). I have to say I felt dirty. I felt like I was making a compromise to what I believed in order to get ahead. It's not a good feeling, a feeling that begins in your gut and wells up into your spirit. A feeling of wrongness, of defeat, of disgust.
I've had that feeling at other times in my life as well. We all have our beliefs and when something comes across our path that compromises them, we have a choice to make. We can either stand firm on them and accept the consequences or we can back down and allow the compromise to occur. Often this is the "easy" way out and we try to pass it off as a "necessary" evil or "no big thing". These excuses are flimsy and that knot in our stomach is telling us as such.
I have heard stories of people that have compromised their marriages, their children, their jobs, everything to reach a goal that in their mind they have figured was worth it. Ultimately when they reach that goal it turns into a hollow victory because they have no one important to them left to celebrate with or they feel even more unfulfilled. The goal turned out not to be worth all the compromises, as if they had been lied to.
I thought about that all day, thinking about those crockpots in my kitchen simmering away, just not feeling right. I get home and stir the pots, unplugging them to get them ready for the fridge, and I decide to taste them. I was in for a shock. The chili was not mild as I had belly-ached over, but turned rather spicy as the day wore on. I felt better knowing that even though I changed the recipe to try to meet the approval of the masses, I had in fact created a chili that I actually was proud of. Quickly I emailed the coordinator of the cook-off and asked her to change my placard from "Traditional-Mild" to "Traditional-Spicy".
I may not win an award tonight, but at least I am going to be serving a chili that I had not compromised my belief in.Whether it's putting a item back in the right place at the grocery store instead of just anywhere to refusing to "fudge" something on a document - stand firm on your beliefs, don't compromise! You'll love yourself for it!
"Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." Romans 12:2, NLT
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
In trying a new recipe I cut back on the spice in an attempt to create something that would be palatable & hopefully pleasing to the cadre of elderly that tend to show up at these contests (for the "free meal"). I have to say I felt dirty. I felt like I was making a compromise to what I believed in order to get ahead. It's not a good feeling, a feeling that begins in your gut and wells up into your spirit. A feeling of wrongness, of defeat, of disgust.
I've had that feeling at other times in my life as well. We all have our beliefs and when something comes across our path that compromises them, we have a choice to make. We can either stand firm on them and accept the consequences or we can back down and allow the compromise to occur. Often this is the "easy" way out and we try to pass it off as a "necessary" evil or "no big thing". These excuses are flimsy and that knot in our stomach is telling us as such.
I have heard stories of people that have compromised their marriages, their children, their jobs, everything to reach a goal that in their mind they have figured was worth it. Ultimately when they reach that goal it turns into a hollow victory because they have no one important to them left to celebrate with or they feel even more unfulfilled. The goal turned out not to be worth all the compromises, as if they had been lied to.
I thought about that all day, thinking about those crockpots in my kitchen simmering away, just not feeling right. I get home and stir the pots, unplugging them to get them ready for the fridge, and I decide to taste them. I was in for a shock. The chili was not mild as I had belly-ached over, but turned rather spicy as the day wore on. I felt better knowing that even though I changed the recipe to try to meet the approval of the masses, I had in fact created a chili that I actually was proud of. Quickly I emailed the coordinator of the cook-off and asked her to change my placard from "Traditional-Mild" to "Traditional-Spicy".
I may not win an award tonight, but at least I am going to be serving a chili that I had not compromised my belief in.Whether it's putting a item back in the right place at the grocery store instead of just anywhere to refusing to "fudge" something on a document - stand firm on your beliefs, don't compromise! You'll love yourself for it!
"Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." Romans 12:2, NLT
MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
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