The Bike Experiment Results...

I wasn't sure if I had the gumption to go through with the experiment, I had talked about it for years but never went any further than that. Deep down I wonder if I didn't really think it was possible, that I was in a way limiting myself in an effort to "stay comfortable & familiar". For one reason or another (mainly some inspiration from a couple of friends of mine), I dug out the bike and gave it a whirl. That first ride was rough, literally, as I had gone 3.5mi on semi-flat tires (unbeknownst to me at the time). My discouragement on that ride was palpable, I could feel it seething inside me. Realizing the error when I got back home, the next day's ride was much smoother with proper tire inflation. I was actually excited.

Trying different routes, stretching myself, I was dumbfounded one Saturday to find that I had ridden almost 6mi and felt no real exhaustion. The dream of biking to work became much more real that day. Pushing myself further, I set a goal of riding to work by the end of May - with a practice run or two on a couple of weekends to test the terrain & time myself. The excitement mounted further.

And then it happened. I took myself further than I had ever gone one morning on my bike. The wind was fierce & howling, the temperature super-cold, but I continued despite thoughts of turning around. Fighting against the wind, each foot struggling to make its revolution, I slowly made progress. Making it home in one exhausted piece, I checked my route and there it was. The magic number. 7.25mi. And the timing was reasonable (reasonable for me, anyway) at around 45min. Thus I made my preparations.

I had seen the route I was to take many times from the road, but I had never noticed any problems or concerns. Giving myself a solid hour, I figure that was enough time for any unforeseen trouble or traffic. Letting my boss know what I was undertaking and giving him a copy of the route and my expected time of arrival, I set about getting my gear together.

Since I had a black backpack, I covered it in a white, sleeveless t-shirt for better visibility by motorists I might encounter. The helmet was fitted (just a hair too tight), shoelaces & pantlegs were checked for possible snagging problems. Loading up my pack, it felt rather heavy and I had not thought about it when I originally made plans. I forgot to include 10-15lbs of extra weight from my pack (my gallon of tea, water bottle of ice, lunch, & other necessities for work). I hemmed & hawed, almost giving up. But I pressed on.

Taking residential streets to the route I needed to get on to travel to work was fairly uneventful. That was, until I encountered the hill. Keeping my hands on the brakes, I coasted down the hill faster & faster, all the while hoping & praying that the light would change in my favor when I reached the bottom. It did. I noticed quite a bit as I traveled on that route. The piles of debris on the route, the dead animals (including a deer), the "puckers" in the asphalt - spherical bubbles that created somewhat of a hazard for bikers & rollerbladers.

The intersections were my main concern but turned out fine (on the way to work), the pack on my back began to twinge a little half way through the ride. I tried to readjust the pack using my shoulders which helped a little. Before I knew it, I had made it to the bridge. Only one more mile to go & well within my ETA. I parked the bike, took off my helm, and plopped down at my desk. Taking deep breaths & trying to slow my heart rate, I basked in the glow of accomplishment. I had done it. Half of the experiment was complete. The other half was yet to come and feelings of self-doubt began to creep into my conscious - "You made it to work, but do you really think after sitting at a desk all day you have the energy to ride the 7+ miles home?" Those thoughts persisted, even after taking a nice bike ride at lunch to visit all the old places I used to bike as a kid.

The ride home began simple enough, the lights were with me & I found myself getting a little more comfortable and actually really enjoying the ride. Allowances for more coasting became prevalent since I did have to get home, it wasn't an emergency. But then the near-misses started. I learned quickly that people in cars are in more of a hurry to get home from work than they are going to work. And it wasn't at the intersections, it was in the driveways & entrances to businesses. People wanting to turn right were looking left, paying no attention to anything happening on their right. Quick flicks of the handbrakes kept me from becoming a hood ornament a few times, with sheepish grins, shrugged shoulders, and mouthed "Sorry" coming from the drivers.

Then the hill. It was fun (and a bit hairy) going down it on the way to work, but looked almost like a mountain to me on my way back. The hill is "stepped", meaning that it's not a smooth hill but rather a series of smaller hills as they wind up to the top. Think of photos of the Loch Ness monster with her humps coming out of the water, and that's kind of what it felt like. You don't notice it when riding in a car, nor did I notice it riding down the hill. I pedaled & pedaled, my thighs burning, sweat accumulating in my eyes. I got almost 3/4 of the way up the hill and had to stop. The hill had beaten me. But I survived and will come back to battle again.

Making my way through the familar neighborhoods, I saw it in the distance. My home! Pulling into my driveway, I gave thanks for the protection and for the strength that got me safely through. Almost 20 miles (to/from work plus my lunchtime ride) on that bike and it felt great. Looking forward to doing it at least once a week.

The Aftermath:
I had cramps galore in my right thigh last night, it's still pretty sore today. I have pant-rash on my stomach from the sweat & constant rubbing while pedaling. A little ache in the back, nothing major. Will this deter me from doing it again? Well, I could have biked today but thought better of it. Let the muscles rest & "knit" themselves back together, they've had quite a workout and were stretched to their limits.

I look forward to biking again tomorrow, although not to work but around the neighborhood...


MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Don't Acknowledge The Cues...

Ever know someone that has to be "in the know" about everyone & everything going on in their lives? Someone who picks up the paper to turn to the obits or surfs over to the news site to see what tragedies occurred overnight? Maybe someone that religiously visits people's personal websites and comments out loud the stories or content of those sites? "Living vicariously" through other people's experiences & tragedies in order to gain their own sad form of attention.

I know several people like that, the hard thing is not to feed into the cycle. Piss poor attitudes trickle down, gloom & doom is contagious if you allow it a foothold. Feeding into the cycle not only gives it a foothold, but often opens a floodgate that can bog down your very soul. It's hard, so hard sometimes not to "acknowledge the cues" that trips the wire of gloom & doom.

The cues can take any form from visual cues (hunched shoulders, forlorn look on the face) to verbal cues (a heavy sigh, an aloud "oh,no", or the real trap an "honest" question about something). Lately I've been tracking the cues people have been giving me and evaluating them. After evaluating them I've been able to find ways to avoid interacting with them. The sighs go unnoticed, the aloud comments go uncommented on, the answers to questions are met with either a short answer or an "I don't know".

Sometimes the worst situations are the ones where you are in a small group and 2 "doom & gloomers" have a "gloom-off", trying to outdo eachother in personal tragedies. A sad, sad pissing contest on who is in need of more sympathy. I have been in the middle of some of the spectacles and let me tell you, the grip of despair & questioning your own life's well-being becomes very strong. It's times like that when you need to turn to God & thank Him. I find strength in a few bible verses when I begin to question my own life's situation:

" For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me." Jer 29:11-13, NLT

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Ro 8:28, NLT

"For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." Phil 4:13, NLT


My thought for the day? Don't acknowledge the cues, but acknowledge & give thanks to Him that loves you & wants to prosper you...



MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Inevitable...

This morning as I was pulling out of the driveway I noticed this woman walking her dog. Now I have seen her for years walking the same dog, but much earlier in the morning. I used to pass her when out on my early morning runs, at that time I think she was working as a school teacher because I noticed her wearing school staff clothing from time to time. But this morning I noticed something different besides her walking at a later time in the morning, she was walking with a cane.

And that's when I had a sobering thought, aging is inevitable - no matter the facelifts, miracle drugs, or whatever, getting older cannot be stopped. Thinking about that woman & her cane, I felt a little pity for her but more than that I was encouraged by her. Refusing to let an infirmity interfere with something she enjoys - walking her dog. I know people that have let infirmities, bad choices, & everyday life events keep them from living life. Falling into a downward spiral of pity or self-loathing, digging deeper & deeper into the rut they're in (Life Coach Dan Miller calls a rut, "a grave with the ends kicked out").

My mindtrack moved to a strange thought about a scene I had witnessed in a movie. There's an interaction in the movie, "There's Something About Mary", where Greg (the main character) got roped into helping his boss' brother move. The brother is confined to a wheelchair & his whole persona is that of negativity & bitterness. Greg, with a HUGE armoire attached to his back, makes an offhand remark that the armoire is a bit heavy. The response of the brother is what I was reminded of this morning, the wheelchair-bound brother says (paraphrasing) "What I wouldn't give to know what heavy feels like you ungrateful (swear word)!!!"

I've been sick for the past week, unable to really get out and enjoy the great weather. I've been lazy, not working out nor keeping up with my food diary. I've been up at night because of the sickness, unable to get back to sleep. Because of it I've barely been able to help around the house like I should or play with the boys. The pity spiral I've been feeling recently had been getting bad. But seeing that woman this morning gives me hope & encourages me to step out of the spiral & into "the now". Having faith that this sickness will subside & begin to resume where I had left off.

For more sobering thoughts, read Ecclesiastes sometime. Timeless wisdom can be found there, the last verse brings the entire book together:

"That’s the whole story. Here now is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey his commands, for this is everyone’s duty. God will judge us for everything we do, including every secret thing, whether good or bad." - Ecc 12:13-14, NLT


Here's to feeling better, enjoying life, & fighting the good fight...


MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com