Matty Speaks On...

Negative criticism gets you nowhere...

2010-12-21T12:50:00.002-05:00

Started listening to Dale Carnegie's "How To Win Friends & Influence People" in a bid to jumpstart my goals for next year by finishing 2 non-fiction books a month. In the first chapter, Dale shared this letter written by Abraham Lincoln to Major General Meade after Meade disobeyed a direct order to attack General Lee (who was trapped by the overflowing Potomac River) and instead held a Council of War, allowing time for the river to recede and facilitate Lee's escape. By attacking/capturing Lee at this juncture in the war would have ended it 2 years early and possibly saved thousands of lives:

Executive Mansion,

Washington, July 14, 1863.

Major General Meade

I have just seen your despatch to Gen. Halleck, asking to be relieved of your command, because of a supposed censure of mine. I am very--very--grateful to you for the magnificent success you gave the cause of the country at Gettysburg; and I am sorry now to be the author of the slightest pain to you. But I was in such deep distress myself that I could not restrain some expression of it. I had been oppressed nearly ever since the battles at Gettysburg, by what appeared to be evidences that yourself, and Gen. Couch, and Gen. Smith, were not seeking a collision with the enemy, but were trying to get him across the river without another battle. What these evidences were, if you please, I hope to tell you at some time, when we shall both feel better. The case, summarily stated is this. You fought and beat the enemy at Gettysburg; and, of course, to say the least, his loss was as great as yours. He retreated; and you did not, as it seemed to me, pressingly pursue him; but a flood in the river detained him, till, by slow degrees, you were again upon him. You had at least twenty thousand veteran troops directly with you, and as many more raw ones within supporting distance, all in addition to those who fought with you at Gettysburg; while it was not possible that he had received a single recruit; and yet you stood and let the flood run down, bridges be built, and the enemy move away at his leisure, without attacking him. And Couch and Smith! The latter left Carlisle in time, upon all ordinary calculation, to have aided you in the last battle at Gettysburg; but he did not arrive. At the end of more than ten days, I believe twelve, under constant urging, he reached Hagerstown from Carlisle, which is not an inch over fifty-five miles, if so much. And Couch's movement was very little different.

Again, my dear general, I do not believe you appreciate the magnitude of the misfortune involved in Lee's escape. He was within your easy grasp, and to have closed upon him would, in connection with our other late successes, have ended the war. As it is, the war will be prolonged indefinitely. If you could not safely attack Lee last Monday, how can you possibly do so South of the river, when you can take with you very few more than two thirds of the force you then had in hand? It would be unreasonable to expect, and I do not expect you can now effect much. Your golden opportunity is gone, and I am distressed immeasurably because of it.

I beg you will not consider this a prosecution, or persecution of yourself As you had learned that I was dissatisfied, I have thought it best to kindly tell you why.

Abraham Lincoln

What was Meade's response? There was none. Lincoln never sent the letter, it was found among his personal papers after his death. Lincoln learned earlier in his life that negative criticism only leads to negative consequences, going so far as in one instance he was challenged to a duel for a particular scathing piece he wrote about a fellow which was printed in the local paper. He knew that by sending this letter he would only cause Meade to defend his actions, as well as cause disharmony among the troops, possibly even cause others to undermine his own leadership of the country.

Before we criticize others, we need to ask ourselves this question - "Will this comment build up or tear down?" and go from there...

MattyV

www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

The Cycling Tour Aftermath...

2010-07-23T16:10:00.002-04:00

Well, I am finally recovering from the cycling tour last Saturday. I am pleased to report that I was able to achieve my goals of both finishing the tour & completing it in under 2 hours. With the challenges that awaited me, those goals tasted much sweeter.

From the 9 miles uphill & into the wind (well not all of it was uphill) to the 3 miles of oiled gravel, it was a trek of endurance & tenacity. Not discouraged by comments made at the very beginning of the ride, I kept with it. The first obstacle I encountered was an almost vertical hill of which I had to get off the bike & walk up. A fellow cyclist happened to comment as he passed me, "Boy, that's not a good sign..."

Comments from other riders as I continued on the ride were more positive & encouraging which was a nice surprise. The second half of the ride I was met by a friend that supported me along the way & actually taught me a few things about my bike. I now know how & when to shift gears either up or down depending on the terrain. He was great and helped me to keep pace.

The aftermath was another story altogether. I ended up with two knees of jello, constant charlie-horses throughout the evening in both calves, & a massive pain in my lower back that put me out of commission for a while. I have since recovered and look forward to hopping back into the saddle on another tour soon.

I stretched myself, proved that I was capable, & had a good time doing it.

I highly suggest stretching yourself, you may not know how strong you really are!

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

"Why me??" Moments

2010-07-15T11:17:00.001-04:00

Earlier this week I had a "why me" moment worthy of a Charlie Brown cartoon. I went out riding my bike Monday morning, enjoying the ride until I hit some rough pavement. A little further down the road I noticed that I was feeling a little bit more of the road under my rear tire. Hopping off my bike I found that the tire was beginning to go flat. I was about 3 miles from home and only a couple of blocks from a gas station that thankfully had a free air hose. I thought I would try to hoof it to the gas station in the off-chance that the tire just needed air and that it wasn't popped.

I felt awkward as I walked my bike to the station, I had worn my usual riding gear sans sensible shoes. I figured I was going to take a quick spin and left the house in my crocs. It had rained the night before and of course several sections of sidewalk were missing due to construction. I almost fell a few times while traversing the muddy sections, I'm sure giving a good laugh to motorists passing by. Making it to the station & using the hose, the tire plumped up rather quickly but as I released it I noticed little air bubbles popping up from where the spokes meet the tire rim. Yep, it was popped.

Thanks to modern technology, most businesses no longer see the need or expense to maintain a public phone. The gas station didn't have one and neither did the grocery store across the parking lot. Not feeling I needed it, I neglected to bring our cellphone on my journey. What did I tell you? 3 miles from home with a flat tire & no means to call my wife to pick me up.

My mother-in-law works nearby and I thought she would have been to work by that time so I trudged to her office. Guess what? No such luck. Needless to say, I did walk my bike all the way home despite thoughts of stashing it in some woods & coming back for it with my car. I loaded up the bike, made it to work on-time(luckily) and later took it to the bike shop for repairs. While I was there, it was pointed out to me that the rear wheel was loose as well. Within 10 minutes I was up and running again with assurances that the rear wheel was tightened well and the offer to bring it back on Friday to double-check it.

What does this matter? You see on Saturday I am going on my first cycling tour, looping a total of 18 miles. If I didn't get that flat on Monday, I wouldn't have known about the loose rear wheel which could have spelled disaster on the tour.

In reality, this "why me" moment turned into a blessing. Looking through the bible there are tons of "why me" moments, the one person that really stands out is the story of Joseph. It seemed that he constantly fell into "why me" moments, but through all of those "why me" moments God used them to protect him & eventually saved him and the entire tribe of Israel.

Trust today that any "why me" moments you may be facing will eventually turn out for your good. You may not see it today or tomorrow, but trust me - you will receive the answer to your question "why me?"...

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Over-Doing Things...

2010-07-07T16:22:00.001-04:00

This morning as I was getting ready for work I happened to be watching GMA and there was a news piece on heat stroke & keeping hydrated during the heat of summer. The big news stories revolved around the eastern states getting hit with a huge heat wave, NYC clocking in at 102 degrees on average & Newark, NJ breaking a record at 104 degrees. There was a doctor on the program talking about the importance of staying hydrated and went so far as to tell people to look at their urine when using the restroom as a tell-tale sign of being dehydrated. She mentioned that a dark-colored urine indicates dehydration and that people want to see a pale yellow color. She also stated that a light yellow or clear urine is symptomatic of over-hydration.

That piqued my interest. Over-hydration. Who knew that you can drink too much water for your body not to function properly. Now I have heard & read about water intoxication where people have imbibed so much water as to cause a "drunkeness-like" state, but never have I heard of over-hydration before. I guess it makes sense, taking or doing too much of anything can become a bad thing despite old wives tales & grandmotherly-type advice.

Reminds me of a story a friend of mine told me about some cyclist he knew. The guy was an avid cyclist, I mean he had the special shoes, the lycra outfits, the expensive bike, he might have been a big racer. My friend told me that he had been hanging out with they guy at the local cycle shop when he pulled a huge plastic bag of pills from his pack. The friend told me it had to have weighed at least a pound by the look of it. Vitamins, extracts, supplements of all sorts - the guy told my friend as he proceeded to down each and every pill in the bag.My friend was dumbfounded. The guy sat there and swallowed a pound of pills one after another. Over-doing it? I would have to point to 'yes' on that one.

I've heard and read articles on over-doing it with had sanitizer and how it's unhealthy to constantly use it because it doesn't allow our immune systems to battle smaller germs and become more developed. I think of the story of Howie Mandel and how his mother & grandmother had a hand in his OCD/germaphobia by being super-neat & clean all the time. He said that his grandmother used to wax & polish her front steps, CONCRETE front steps! Over-doing it? quite possibly.

I've been the "victim" of over-eating, although I really can't say victim since I personally made the choice to eat more than I needed. In talking with a client of mine that is an avid runner & cyclist, we had a conversation about how much has changed as far as portion sizes from the 1950's to today. Our dinner plate diameters have gone from 9 inches to 12 inches, she mentioned a friend had moved into a home from the 1950's and couldn't understand at first why her dishes & cups would not fit in the cabinets. She realized that the cabinets were built for smaller plates & cups. "Super-Size It" has become the norm.

It's hard sometimes to find a happy medium. We are often swinging from one extreme to the other by being stingy with our time or finances to giving it all away. I realize I need to find a balance in all areas of my life if I want to grow & mature. One of those things is definitely hydration, finding a balance in my fluid intake. That may be the cause of some issues in my weight loss journey. The symptoms are there, time to scale back a bit and see what happens...

Yes, Virginia, you can have too much of a good thing...

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

"I'm looking through you..."

2010-06-30T15:41:00.000-04:00

"And you're nowhere..." - The Beatles, "I'm Looking Through You"

I was told a story yesterday that seemed a lot like a Twilight Zone episode from the 1980's that I had seen. Someone I know had been at the library and saw someone they knew. But instead of saying "hi" or acknowledging their presence, the person walked right by as if they didn't recognize them. I asked if they had seen eachother, sometimes I can be oblivious to those around me if I am engrossed in a thought or determined to get somewhere. Nope, apparently they had even locked eyes at one point. No mistake, the "cold shoulder" was deliberate. Funny thing is, these two had been close for a time until this person became distant & stand-offish all of a sudden.

The episode was entitled, "To See The Invisible Man", all about a man accused of being cold to his fellow man & sentenced to a year of "invisibility". He was marked and all citizens were to avoid contact with the marked, pretending they were invisible. The man made it the year and realized how cold & heartless the punishment was, the episode ended with the man comforting a "marked" woman as robot police drones surrounded them.

My devotion today also had something to do with ignoring people. A homeless man was found outside a church on a Sunday, all the parishoners went into the church without talking to the man or inviting him inside. A short time later, the homeless man took the pulpit & revealed himself to be the pastor of the church. He went on to preach a sermon on loving & reaching out to others.

I've been snubbed before. I've called people on it. I tell you nothing makes you feel more worthless than to be ignored or snubbed. It's as if you are not important enough for others to acknowledge your presence or worth their time to say a simple hello or nod or wave. Most of those that I had called on the snubbing back-pedaled quickly and felt really awkward about it. Hmmm, why would that be?

We are called to love each other, help each other, raise each other up. You may be mad at me, that's fine. You may not like me, that's fine too. But for goodness sake, give a little respect to others if you see them. A two second hello, however trite, is better than totally ignoring them. Are we in grade school? Really? Seriously?

I found this passage:

"If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?" - 1 John 4:20, NLT

Hate is a strong word but I count deliberately ignoring someone as a form of hate, I don't know about you...

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

PS - sorry for the silence in posts, had been getting ready for vacation & other life events...

Running right to the negative...

2010-05-28T10:01:00.002-04:00

I have faith and I share that faith from time to time. If you're not into it, that's fine - I respect that. Faith has gotten me through some pretty rough patches in my life. Faith has grown me as I continue to realize that I cannot do it all myself. And yet after seeing what faith can do time & time again I find myself oftentimes running right to the negative when problems arise. Last night was not exception except that I changed my attitude when I realized what I was doing.

Yesterday was a scorcher (well a scorcher in this neck of the woods) for May. We topped out at 91 degrees with I thought 60% humidity, which makes the hot temperatures feel even hotter. Taking a walk for over an hour at lunch, I came back to the office with a completely soaked shirt & a bad case of "indian underwear". I had planned on getting some yardwork done since I couldn't let the lawn get any longer. Playing hooky from my home responsibilities this weekend caught up with me. Getting home, I changed the furnace filter & closed up the house (which by this time had climbed to 84 degrees indoors). Flipping on the central air unit, I felt the flood of cold air begin to flow out of the kitchen vent. Changing my clothes & grabbing my iPod, I prepared to tackle the lawn when all of a sudden 'snap!' the power went out.

Having been through this a couple of times (living in an older home it happens), I checked the breakers. Nothing. I flipped each individual breaker off and back on. Nothing. I flipped all the breakers off, including the main, and systematically flipped each breaker trying to pinpoint the problem. Nothing. By this time I was hot, tired, & frustrated. I told Bren to pack a bag for all of us and call the electrician and make an appointment for the next day (I wasn't about to pay a $150 emergency service call fee). I also told her to pack whatever frozen items we could to salvage because there was no guarantee that they would stay frozen overnight.

I headed out to do the lawn, defeat began to run through my mind as I thought of using up our vacation funds to pay for repairs. After the second mower bag was dumped, I had realized what I was doing. I was running to the negative in this situation, not even sure of the actual cause or cost to repair the problem. Once I realized that, I changed my attitude. I began to pray & give thanks for the vacation money to fix the electrical problem. I gave thanks for having in-laws that live in the next town who have room for us, central air, & a deep freezer for the meat & other items we needed to save from the freezer. I put my faith & trust into this situation working out to my good. I turned from the negative & walked into faith.

Just a moment I had finished praying, I looked over and saw a public works bucket truck turn the corner near my house. That sparked a thought, so I had Bren call the power plant in the off-chance that the entire block was experiencing an outtage. Bren stopped me while I continued to mow and said that there was an outtage in the area and a crew was out to rectify the problem. I recalled a similar incident last year during a thunderstorm, our block's power had gone out because of a faulty transformer. I guess in the situation last night we found out what happens when everyone on the block turns on their central air at the same time.

I told Bren to cancel the electrician appointment & I finished the lawn while continuing to give thanks for the result of the situation. When things in life happen, we can make a choice even when we think there is no choice. We can choose to run right to the negative, or we can choose to change our attitude & have faith.

How do you start the day? Do you look at the 'gloom & doom' on the news or do you begin your day with thanks & faith?

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Lost shoes & road pennies

2010-05-20T15:18:00.001-04:00

One thing that I find more often on my walks than anything else are shoes. One lone shoe lying on the side of the road or off to one side of a sidewalk. Some are name brand (Nike, Reebok, etc.) & some are generic/non-descript. I have seen some in excellent condition & yet have seen some that were nearing their expiration. And I wonder about those lost shoes. Where did they come from? What was the owner like? Does the owner realize their shoe is missing?

Sometimes we may feel like those lost shoes, discarded, uncared-for, forgotten. Situations in life can bring us down, thoughts of failure & disappointment cloud our minds.

Another thing I find often on my walks are "road pennies", so-named because they are found on the road! I get a little giddy when I find them, not for their monetary value but rather for their characteristics. These coins are abused, scratched, barely worth redemption for their value. The one I found today takes the cake, it was so scratched that the zinc core has been exposed along the edges of the coin. Looking over the small collection at my desk, the only one in worse shape looks as though something took bites out of the coin.

I cherish each and every one of them. Some may say "why bother?" and see them as ugly & worthless. I see them as unique & in a way beautiful because of their scars & defects.

I should carry one of them on a chain as a reminder when I'm feeling down or a little depressed. A reminder of Someone who accepts, loves, & cherishes us despite our defects. I think you have an idea of who that might be...

"But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners." - Ro 5:8, NLT

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

The uphill battles we face...

2010-05-16T09:32:00.001-04:00

This week in both my podcast & on my web show I discussed a topic brought on by someone I've come to admire (and became my FB friend, for what it's worth), Erik Chopin. For those that may not know who he is, he was the 3rd season winner of the television program, "The Biggest Loser", losing a whopping 214lbs which I believe is a first for the program (a contestant losing over 200lbs).

After winning, within 2 years he had gained back all of the weight he lost. He said that he just began to lose focus. The hoopla of winning died down & he began to rest on his laurels. Then the "passes" began to show up more frequently. "Passes" included allowances for over-eating ("Oh, I'll just train for an extra hour at the gym this week"), for not exercising, & finally for gaining weight ("I gained 4lbs? No prob, I'll bang them off next week!"). It got to a point where the passes overtook him and he could not cash the checks his mind had written. Falling into depression & old habits, he stopped going to the gym out of embarrassment, and after 2 years he had lost - he had gained all the weight back. Everything he had worked so hard for, the progress he had made, the inspiration he had given others was gone.

He's thankfully working his way back and warned the current contestants of his downfalls. It was hard enough to lose the weight the first time and he mentioned that it seems even harder the second time. Every day is an uphill battle. Having to lose weight in the "real world" is a lot different than losing it in seclusion on a television program.

Another couple of friends of mine that you might remember, Matt Hoover & Suzy Preston Hoover, were previous winners on the television program "The Biggest Loser" as well. Both of them have also fallen victim to the "passes" mentality but not to the degree of Eric. In his book, Matt talks about letting himself go and gaining back 80lbs & feeling like a hypocrite since he had based his business on inspiring people to lose weight but he himself was gaining it back. Both he & Suzy are on their way back, Matt has been training to do triathlons & even an Ironman competition in Hawaii. But for them as well, every day is an uphill battle.

I face my own uphill battles everyday. Some days I conquer them, some days I have defeat but rise again to fight them the next. Yesterday I faced a literal & figurative uphill battle on my bike. Literal in the sense that near my home there is a rather large "stepped" hill that had beaten me once already on my bike. I got 3/4 of the way up and had to get off the bike & walk because it seemed so difficult to keep going. Figurative in the sense that as I approached the hill my mind was filled with negative & self-defeating thoughts, telling me that I should just give up 3/4 of the way up like last time & try it again some other day.

The thoughts became louder & more pronounced as I began to climb the hill, deep down inside I knew if I stopped where I did last time that it would be my brick wall or glass ceiling. It would be the point that I would always think was the spot where I could make it and no farther. I pushed myself & the bike as hard as I could, each "step" slowing my progress even further. But I crept on, looking I'm sure like I was traveling in slow-motion. Cars passing me, people gawking, but I continued undaunted.

With the last revolutions of my pedals I had reached the top. Taking a brief moment to look back at my triumph, I pedaled home with a wide smile on my face. I pulled into my driveway exhausted & high off of the victory. That battle was won, that mental roadblock defeated.

Some days are full of battles, some we win & some we lose... Ultimately when we wake up each morning to fight again, we've already won.

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

The Bike Experiment Results...

2010-04-29T15:50:00.002-04:00

I wasn't sure if I had the gumption to go through with the experiment, I had talked about it for years but never went any further than that. Deep down I wonder if I didn't really think it was possible, that I was in a way limiting myself in an effort to "stay comfortable & familiar". For one reason or another (mainly some inspiration from a couple of friends of mine), I dug out the bike and gave it a whirl. That first ride was rough, literally, as I had gone 3.5mi on semi-flat tires (unbeknownst to me at the time). My discouragement on that ride was palpable, I could feel it seething inside me. Realizing the error when I got back home, the next day's ride was much smoother with proper tire inflation. I was actually excited.

Trying different routes, stretching myself, I was dumbfounded one Saturday to find that I had ridden almost 6mi and felt no real exhaustion. The dream of biking to work became much more real that day. Pushing myself further, I set a goal of riding to work by the end of May - with a practice run or two on a couple of weekends to test the terrain & time myself. The excitement mounted further.

And then it happened. I took myself further than I had ever gone one morning on my bike. The wind was fierce & howling, the temperature super-cold, but I continued despite thoughts of turning around. Fighting against the wind, each foot struggling to make its revolution, I slowly made progress. Making it home in one exhausted piece, I checked my route and there it was. The magic number. 7.25mi. And the timing was reasonable (reasonable for me, anyway) at around 45min. Thus I made my preparations.

I had seen the route I was to take many times from the road, but I had never noticed any problems or concerns. Giving myself a solid hour, I figure that was enough time for any unforeseen trouble or traffic. Letting my boss know what I was undertaking and giving him a copy of the route and my expected time of arrival, I set about getting my gear together.

Since I had a black backpack, I covered it in a white, sleeveless t-shirt for better visibility by motorists I might encounter. The helmet was fitted (just a hair too tight), shoelaces & pantlegs were checked for possible snagging problems. Loading up my pack, it felt rather heavy and I had not thought about it when I originally made plans. I forgot to include 10-15lbs of extra weight from my pack (my gallon of tea, water bottle of ice, lunch, & other necessities for work). I hemmed & hawed, almost giving up. But I pressed on.

Taking residential streets to the route I needed to get on to travel to work was fairly uneventful. That was, until I encountered the hill. Keeping my hands on the brakes, I coasted down the hill faster & faster, all the while hoping & praying that the light would change in my favor when I reached the bottom. It did. I noticed quite a bit as I traveled on that route. The piles of debris on the route, the dead animals (including a deer), the "puckers" in the asphalt - spherical bubbles that created somewhat of a hazard for bikers & rollerbladers.

The intersections were my main concern but turned out fine (on the way to work), the pack on my back began to twinge a little half way through the ride. I tried to readjust the pack using my shoulders which helped a little. Before I knew it, I had made it to the bridge. Only one more mile to go & well within my ETA. I parked the bike, took off my helm, and plopped down at my desk. Taking deep breaths & trying to slow my heart rate, I basked in the glow of accomplishment. I had done it. Half of the experiment was complete. The other half was yet to come and feelings of self-doubt began to creep into my conscious - "You made it to work, but do you really think after sitting at a desk all day you have the energy to ride the 7+ miles home?" Those thoughts persisted, even after taking a nice bike ride at lunch to visit all the old places I used to bike as a kid.

The ride home began simple enough, the lights were with me & I found myself getting a little more comfortable and actually really enjoying the ride. Allowances for more coasting became prevalent since I did have to get home, it wasn't an emergency. But then the near-misses started. I learned quickly that people in cars are in more of a hurry to get home from work than they are going to work. And it wasn't at the intersections, it was in the driveways & entrances to businesses. People wanting to turn right were looking left, paying no attention to anything happening on their right. Quick flicks of the handbrakes kept me from becoming a hood ornament a few times, with sheepish grins, shrugged shoulders, and mouthed "Sorry" coming from the drivers.

Then the hill. It was fun (and a bit hairy) going down it on the way to work, but looked almost like a mountain to me on my way back. The hill is "stepped", meaning that it's not a smooth hill but rather a series of smaller hills as they wind up to the top. Think of photos of the Loch Ness monster with her humps coming out of the water, and that's kind of what it felt like. You don't notice it when riding in a car, nor did I notice it riding down the hill. I pedaled & pedaled, my thighs burning, sweat accumulating in my eyes. I got almost 3/4 of the way up the hill and had to stop. The hill had beaten me. But I survived and will come back to battle again.

Making my way through the familar neighborhoods, I saw it in the distance. My home! Pulling into my driveway, I gave thanks for the protection and for the strength that got me safely through. Almost 20 miles (to/from work plus my lunchtime ride) on that bike and it felt great. Looking forward to doing it at least once a week.

The Aftermath:
I had cramps galore in my right thigh last night, it's still pretty sore today. I have pant-rash on my stomach from the sweat & constant rubbing while pedaling. A little ache in the back, nothing major. Will this deter me from doing it again? Well, I could have biked today but thought better of it. Let the muscles rest & "knit" themselves back together, they've had quite a workout and were stretched to their limits.

I look forward to biking again tomorrow, although not to work but around the neighborhood...

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Don't Acknowledge The Cues...

2010-04-16T10:48:00.002-04:00

Ever know someone that has to be "in the know" about everyone & everything going on in their lives? Someone who picks up the paper to turn to the obits or surfs over to the news site to see what tragedies occurred overnight? Maybe someone that religiously visits people's personal websites and comments out loud the stories or content of those sites? "Living vicariously" through other people's experiences & tragedies in order to gain their own sad form of attention.

I know several people like that, the hard thing is not to feed into the cycle. Piss poor attitudes trickle down, gloom & doom is contagious if you allow it a foothold. Feeding into the cycle not only gives it a foothold, but often opens a floodgate that can bog down your very soul. It's hard, so hard sometimes not to "acknowledge the cues" that trips the wire of gloom & doom.

The cues can take any form from visual cues (hunched shoulders, forlorn look on the face) to verbal cues (a heavy sigh, an aloud "oh,no", or the real trap an "honest" question about something). Lately I've been tracking the cues people have been giving me and evaluating them. After evaluating them I've been able to find ways to avoid interacting with them. The sighs go unnoticed, the aloud comments go uncommented on, the answers to questions are met with either a short answer or an "I don't know".

Sometimes the worst situations are the ones where you are in a small group and 2 "doom & gloomers" have a "gloom-off", trying to outdo eachother in personal tragedies. A sad, sad pissing contest on who is in need of more sympathy. I have been in the middle of some of the spectacles and let me tell you, the grip of despair & questioning your own life's well-being becomes very strong. It's times like that when you need to turn to God & thank Him. I find strength in a few bible verses when I begin to question my own life's situation:

" For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me." Jer 29:11-13, NLT

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Ro 8:28, NLT

"For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." Phil 4:13, NLT

My thought for the day? Don't acknowledge the cues, but acknowledge & give thanks to Him that loves you & wants to prosper you...

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Inevitable...

2010-04-01T10:39:00.000-04:00

This morning as I was pulling out of the driveway I noticed this woman walking her dog. Now I have seen her for years walking the same dog, but much earlier in the morning. I used to pass her when out on my early morning runs, at that time I think she was working as a school teacher because I noticed her wearing school staff clothing from time to time. But this morning I noticed something different besides her walking at a later time in the morning, she was walking with a cane.

And that's when I had a sobering thought, aging is inevitable - no matter the facelifts, miracle drugs, or whatever, getting older cannot be stopped. Thinking about that woman & her cane, I felt a little pity for her but more than that I was encouraged by her. Refusing to let an infirmity interfere with something she enjoys - walking her dog. I know people that have let infirmities, bad choices, & everyday life events keep them from living life. Falling into a downward spiral of pity or self-loathing, digging deeper & deeper into the rut they're in (Life Coach Dan Miller calls a rut, "a grave with the ends kicked out").

My mindtrack moved to a strange thought about a scene I had witnessed in a movie. There's an interaction in the movie, "There's Something About Mary", where Greg (the main character) got roped into helping his boss' brother move. The brother is confined to a wheelchair & his whole persona is that of negativity & bitterness. Greg, with a HUGE armoire attached to his back, makes an offhand remark that the armoire is a bit heavy. The response of the brother is what I was reminded of this morning, the wheelchair-bound brother says (paraphrasing) "What I wouldn't give to know what heavy feels like you ungrateful (swear word)!!!"

I've been sick for the past week, unable to really get out and enjoy the great weather. I've been lazy, not working out nor keeping up with my food diary. I've been up at night because of the sickness, unable to get back to sleep. Because of it I've barely been able to help around the house like I should or play with the boys. The pity spiral I've been feeling recently had been getting bad. But seeing that woman this morning gives me hope & encourages me to step out of the spiral & into "the now". Having faith that this sickness will subside & begin to resume where I had left off.

For more sobering thoughts, read Ecclesiastes sometime. Timeless wisdom can be found there, the last verse brings the entire book together:

"That’s the whole story. Here now is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey his commands, for this is everyone’s duty. God will judge us for everything we do, including every secret thing, whether good or bad." - Ecc 12:13-14, NLT

Here's to feeling better, enjoying life, & fighting the good fight...

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

"You've got to give..."

2010-03-26T10:11:00.000-04:00

"...to live,
An empty hand reaching out for someone,
An empty heart takes so little to fill..." - Sammy Hagar, "Give to Live"

Sitting here still smelling of chicken broth, even after scrubbing up last night & this morning. But I don't mind, a small inconvenience for an amazing opportunity. I enjoy helping people, meeting needs, trying new experiences. I noticed a few of the men from my Saturday morning group had signed up to help out with the monthly food distribution our church hosts/pays for each month so I thought I would try it out. Wasn't sure what to expect, I always get cold feet beforehand - I guess a preservation/defense mechanism that is deeply ingrained in me.

I prayed on the way to church, asking God to make me a blessing that night. Pulling into the parking lot I could see the line of people standing outside, at least 60 or so with another group already inside the church. Walking into church I signed in, grabbed a nametag, & met up with a couple of guys I knew. I stood off to the side, gathering whatever strength I could to keep me there & not just leave. I felt out of place but then I realized it wasn't about me, it was about reaching out to the group of 100+ that had come for help.

Just then the food truck pulled up, I walked outside & was met with a huge side-hug from my friend Attica. Whatever selfish feelings I had melted away after that and we got to work at setting up the tables, starting the food counts, & bagging/setting out the food. I met up with one of the teens that had volunteered & we had fun setting out the food, joking around, having a good time. After a short prayer, the line began. I had the duty of handing out either graham cracker crumbs or 2lb bags of chicken broth powder, as well as dried cubes of cilantro.

For almost an hour I did the job, offering suggestions on uses for the cilantro cubes, helping my teen friend explain his item (a nut-flavored fortified cornstarch drink mix, used like hot cocoa), smiling & laughing, trying to lift the moods of those that had come. And I think I succeeded. By the end of the night I was tired & hungry (I left work and went right to church), smelling of chicken broth but felt good. Sure it was a couple of hours away from my family & a long day at that, but it was time well spent.

I look forward to doing it again.

A study was done in recent years that found we as humans are hard-wired to give whether we're hunter/gatherers in New Guinea or regular Joes in Paducah, KY. It's in our nature to give and that's not surprising, seeing as in whose image we were all created...

"In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly." Rom 12:6-8, NLT

We all have something to give...

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

"Be real..."

2010-03-05T09:24:00.001-05:00

"People can sense fake..." - MattyV

During the Q&A section of the speech contest yesterday, one of my responses was the above quote. And it's true. I am constantly telling my fellow Toastmasters that when you write a speech, it has to be personal. Whether a technical speech on the workflows of a gigagadget to sharing your faith testimony - it has to be genuine or you'll lose the listener.

I find better connections with others when I am just plain real. I strive for that in my blogs, my podcasts, & my webshows. Some of the topics are upbeat, some are just plain depressing - but that's what engages the listener/viewer/reader. I try to make a personal connection with my audience, sharing an experience or emotion or situation that they may have had in their own life. I find when I do that, the more engaged the person gets & the more benefit we both receive from it.

For example I have a friend that reads my blogs on a daily basis and when one connects with him he shares it with all of his friends. I love that. I love the fact that what I went through or blogged about made a connection with another human being, enough so that he felt like sharing it with others in the hopes of making more connections. I'd love to see how far my reposted blogs have gotten, to see how many lives they have touched.

What brought up the thought for today? A couple of things, actually. The first was the movie, "Rambo". I loved "First Blood" so much that I actually took the book out of the local library & read it. Let me say that there is MUCH MUCH more to the book than the movie and not the other way around. I didn't care for any of the sequels, they turned John Rambo into an action hero and glorified his dealings in violence. The first movie portrayed him as a lone soldier, rejected by society to the breaking point.

I must say that although there was a lot of violence & blood in this sequel, the storyline & ending were superb (I actually cried a few tears at the end). But I noticed something, much of the blood & body parts were CGI (Computer Generated Images). The bullet holes & blood spatters didn't flow or match totally up with the way the bodies fell or seemed too clean. Seems like CG is being used more & more, leaving traditional special effects artists behind. Now I know that movies are supposed to be fake, but in order to engage the viewer there has to be some semblance of realism. Some movies thrive on their blantant use of fakery, while others need the realism to really tell their story. The CG in "Rambo" detracted a lot from the story & emotion they tried to evoke.

The other came from my "mentor", Dan Miller who relayed a story from the author Thomas J. Stanley ("The Millionaire Mind", "The Millionaire Next Door") from his new book, "Stop Acting Rich". Tom, through his research, found that the typical millionaire drives older vehicles, lives in modest homes, wears modest clothing, & don't go out to eat as often as people would believe. The ones with the flashy cars, expensive homes, & toss money around at restaurants are the ones who are in debt up to their eyeballs or are trying to act a part & gain attention. "Being fake" in other words.

We're most comfortable when we're being ourselves. Trouble is, society may not approve of our "true selves" hence the need to put up socially-acceptable facades.

I'd rather "be real" with one person than "be fake" amongst a crowd of other "fakers"...

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

"Suicide..."

2010-02-27T09:22:00.001-05:00

"Don't do it!" - Big Fun (fictional band from the movie, "Heathers")

The other day when it was found that actor Andrew Koenig ("Boner" of "Growing Pains" fame) had taken his own life at a favorite park of his in Canada, it brought back some memories that weren't so favorable in my life. Hearing reporters, friends, & even his parents talk about Andrew's bouts of deep depression brought me back to my college days. I knew exactly where Andrew was on the day he ended his life because I had been there but thankfully stepped back from the edge.

My first (and only) year at college was an overwhelming experience for me. I had lived a pretty sheltered life, my parents had divorced when I was 12 or 13 & my mom kept me under her thumb until I was 18 years old. I was originally set to go to GVSU, but later changed my mind and headed down to Kalamazoo to join some friends that were going to Western Michigan University. Being 45min from home isn't that far, but for an 18 year old freshman on his own for the first time - it was like being a million miles away.

I was late in the game to apply & be accepted so I ended up in the very last orientation class which was held a few days before college officially started with the campus move-in day & class registration. It was lonely being in that dorm room by myself for those first few nights. I'd wander the campus after orientation, check out the local video store, & basically get my bearings before the entire student body arrived.

My roommate showed up that weekend, a sophomore that wanted to have his own room but was stuck with a roommate until one could be found. Did I mention he was a 6'6" black guy that liked Mad Dog 20/20 (we were on a non-alcohol floor) & pornography? The classes were over my head as well, such gems as Political Science 101, Black American Theater, Philosophy 101. I kid you not, I had to take BAT because it was the only class available to get me to my full credit status.

I had been used to 20-25 students in a class and I believe the lowest class size I had was around 75 students. Instead of a name I was a number. I was not prepared for this. Things got worse as people I basically grew up with went down different paths. One became a drug addict & the other one turned to alcohol. I felt even lonelier.

I began retreating more & more into myself, skipping class, sleeping late, eating in the cafeteria downstairs at least 5 times a day. I really didn't care anymore. Thanksgiving approached & I got word that they were shutting down the dorm for the week. Anyone staying in the dorm during that time needed to access it through the basement maintenance corridors. I opted to stay instead of going home, by then I had hit rockbottom.

The more time I spent alone, the more worthless I felt, the more worthless I felt, the more depressed I became until I hatched a plan to end it all. The dorms were deserted by then, I carried out my departure from this earth. I went to the local video store and stocked up on my favorite movies, headed over to the taco stand and picked up a dozen greasy turkey tacos (how appropriate), sat there for a few days, watched the movies & contemplated suicide.

I had a knife, a mother-of-pearl pocketknife that my father had given me a few years prior. It was sharp, made sure of that. Then the time came. I sat in the suite shower for what seemed like hours, the warm water splashing down on me. I thought of the surprise my roommate & suitemates would find, a blue & bloated corpse sitting in their shower. I thought of all the girls that had hurt me, all the taunts I received, the abuse I had gotten, my college experience was the last straw.

I was ready. I was primed. Everything was starting to fall into place, but I hesitated. Deep down inside I felt something. A tiny voice deep inside telling me, "Don't do this, you don't have to do this." I had never heard that voice before. It got stronger & louder as I sat there until I dropped the knife & began to weep. I let the emotions come out. I got up, shut off the shower, closed the pocketknife, & cleaned up. I "checked out" of college after that, skipping all classes & just basically living in the dorm.

That was the lowest point in my life. I admit that I do get depressed from time to time, but I don't allow it to get bottled up or build to the levels that led to my attempt. Blogging, praying, meditation, & just plain talking help me through those times.

I share this story because I never want anyone to feel that helpless ever. There is help out there, talk to friends, family, find a support group or counselor. If you're a friend or family member and you notice changes in someone - withdrawn, mood swings, depressive talk, don't explain it away or gloss over it. These are cries for help. I pray no one has to go through what the Koenig family has had to go through.

You're not worthless, you're priceless - remember that...

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

"Winners Never Quit..."

2010-02-26T10:51:00.000-05:00

Out on my run this morning I was thinking about this quote for one reason or another. Thanks to Seth Godin, I see that quote as false. In his book, "The Dip", Seth explains that the adage needs to change to:

"Winners know WHEN to quit..."

Winners tend to stop doing something when either they lose traction or the "opportunity cost" outweighs the benefits. It's better to quit something when it becomes less than stellar than to slog through to mediocrity.

I see that in my own life now that I have time to reflect. When the relationship is stagnant or remains superficial, it's time to cut loose & move on. I know that sounds harsh & cold, but would you rather waste energy & emotional investment in 10 friendships that never go anywhere or would you rather have 3 friendships that become deeply rooted & meaningful?

I would hope that for the most part you would want a deeper friendship than a purely superficial one. The trouble is not being able to recognize right away if the friendships are worth going further with without making a significant investment. But that's life.

I have also seen it in my weight loss journey as well. Trying new things, new paths, experimenting with different ideas & concepts I have read about. Making investments to really give them an opportunity and finding that the fit just isn't there or the results are not as expected. Cut the losses and move on.

It's painful at first, thinking of all the energy & emotional investment hoping that things work out but finding that your efforts are meaningless. But when you switch tracks, you often find that it was the best thing you have ever done.

I like the quote I posted by Tim Cook of Apple. I imagine they switch tracks often once they realize the one they're on is going nowhere or doesn't lead to their destination.

Seth Godin - "The Dip", I highly recommend it...

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

My Take On Obesity (from an obese person's perspective)

2010-02-19T14:56:00.000-05:00

I've been obese most of my life. I have a rather lopsided view of life because of it. Lopsided towards cynicism because that is what I have developed over years of taunts, abuse, neglect, rejection, & other stumbling blocks along the way. Instead of seeing the glass half-full or half-empty, I often see the glass and wonder "will I get blamed for the missing half since I'm fat?" I have met & seen obese persons (like myself) fall into 3 distinct groups - Accepted, Admitted, & Determined.

Those that accept their obesity feel that it is their lot in life and nothing can change it. These types have formed support groups to help nurture their own acceptance of their obesity & in some instances to force the public into accepting it as well (I think of the National Association for the Advancement of Fat People - the NAAFP, a real organization). Lobbying congress & businesses to recognize obesity as a disease with no cure. Other have built careers around their obesity and use it to gain acceptance from society (the two that come to mind are Ralphie May, winner of "Last Comic Standing" & Gabriel Iglesias who's first album was titled "I'm not fat, I'm fluffy"). I used to fall into this category. I learned early on to become either a bully or "the funny fat guy" because of my weight. I chose to be funny since I'm a lover, not a fighter.

There are those that admit to their obesity and know they need to do something about it. The trap is that they either go about it the wrong way or have done it in a half-assed fashion. I have met (and know a few) people that have had the surgery thinking they had been given the "magic bullet" of weightloss. Not following the life plan required after having the surgery. Losing hair, sallow skin, even gaining back the weight lost, all tragic & unfortunate fates for those that have admitted their need to lose weight. I think of celebrities such as Kirstie Alley & Ron (from "The Biggest Loser" Season 7), Kirstie lost her weight through Nutri-System but failed to stick with the program while Ron (even though now he has lost weight & kept it off) had the surgery years prior before it became a "safer" & homogenized operation & eventually reversed the procedure by stretching out the stomach pouch.I had upgraded to this group in high school when I joined Weight Watchers (dropped out shortly after because it was a room full of overweight moms) and later when I had my heart palpitations, turning to prescription medications to help with weight loss.

The last group is one that I intend on staying with. The Determined are on a quest to lose weight safely & properly. They understand that it will be a hard journey and that it will last the rest of their lives. The Determined many times have been a part of the other groups but one event in their life changed their status to "determined". Mine happened in an elevator several years ago. I had a revelation, an epiphany, everything I had learned about weightloss & about the surgery finally "clicked" with me. My life event was almost signing on the dotted line to have the surgery. I knew I had to change, but I was smart - I did my research. After processing the info & praying about my decision I realized that I would have to change my lifestyle regardless. Whether having the surgery or not, I would have to change the way I eat, exercise, & deal with stress differently. The Determined group is a small one as statistics show only 10% of those that lose large amounts of weight keep it off.

I have been a part of all three of these groups at one point in my life: I have accepted my role of "the funny fat guy" for a time, toyed with the notion of losing weight knowing that it is something I needed to do, but eventually I became determined to lose weight & keep it off. I aspire to become a 10 percenter, encouraging others to evaluate their lives & make their own decision to become determined to lose weight.

Here's to becoming a part of the 10%...

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

A simple compliment...

2010-02-09T11:05:00.000-05:00

Received a compliment last night that at first didn't seem like one but after thinking about it, it is one amazing compliment. One of the members of my Saturday men's group shot me an email asking if I had worked at Star Theater at some point in time. Yep, I told him, worked as a manager there from '94 to '96 (actually started as a lowly usher in 1992 and worked my way up through the ranks to the "glass ceiling". The last position above mine was that of General Manager, and of course there's a waiting list of more-qualified candidates when an opening like that comes available - a RARE occurrence) but I was about 150lbs heavier back then. I love his response:

"knew it! I worked with you when I was in high school. You look younger now than what I remembered from back then, that's why I didn't ask before..."

It was a Dr. Oz or Dr. Huizenga (from, "The Biggest Loser") moment right there in my inbox. For those that don't get the reference, both doctors have done "real age" studies on their respective shows that give the participant what their body thinks it's age is rather than a chronological age. Many times a person's body age is 10 or as much as 30 years older than their chronological age because of their obesity or bad habits (like smoking). It's a real wakeup call to do something about it and oftentimes the participant does!

To hear that I look younger now than I did at 450lbs is a great compliment to receive. I still have a ways to go to reach my goal (and the rest of my life to maintain it), but to get encouraging compliments like that help to make the road to wellness & health that much easier to bear. Puts a little 'pep' in your step, brings your self-esteem up a notch or two, strengthens your commitment, encourages you to spread that feeling to others.

Have you complimented someone recently? You'll make them feel good and make yourself feel good at the same time, a win-win!

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

PS - Thanks, Tyler!

What the world sees vs. what God sees...

2010-02-05T09:05:00.000-05:00

Had this as my devotion this morning, I'll comment on it below...

I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay for their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots. But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.

This love story began in Winchester , Mass. , 43 years ago, when Rick was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs. "He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life;" father, Dick, says doctors told him and his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. "Put him in an institution."

But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was anything to help the boy communicate. "No way," Dick says he was told. "There's nothing going on in his brain." "Tell him a joke," Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain.

Rigged up with a computer that allowed him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? "Go Bruins!" And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, "Dad, I want to do that." Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described "porker" who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he tried. "Then it was me who was handicapped," Dick says. "I was sore for two weeks."

That day changed Rick's life. "Dad," he typed, "when we were running, it felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!" And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.

"No way," Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then they found a way to get into the race officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the qualifying time for Boston the following year.
Then somebody said, "Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?" How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick tried. Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironman in Hawaii . It must be a buzz kill to be a 25-year-old stud getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you think?

Eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars--all in the same day. Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. on a bike. Makes taking your son bowling look a little lame, right? Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? "No way," he says. Dick does it purely for "the awesome feeling" he gets seeing Rick with a cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.

This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon , in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best time'? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992--only 35 minutes off the world record, which, in case you don't keep track of these things, happens to be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the time.

"No question about it," Rick types. "My dad is the Father of the Century." And what has Rick done for his father? Not much--except save his life. And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries was 95% clogged. "If you hadn't been in such great shape," one doctor told him, "you probably would've died 15 years ago." So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life.
Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston , and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland , Mass. , always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father's Day.

That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy. "The thing I'd most like," Rick types, "is that my dad would sit in the chair and I would push him once."
- Rick Reilly, "The Strongest Dad In The World"

The world saw something different than what God saw in Rick. God clued his parents in to what He saw when Rick followed them around the room with his eyes at 9 months. His parents began to see the person inside the disabled shell. Thanks in part to modern technology, Rick is able to share himself & communicate with others through the specialized computer device he uses. Rick is intelligent, funny, & loving.

The world saw something different in his father Dick as well. Telling him that he couldn't run races with his son, telling himself that he couldn't compete in triathalons or mountain climb or many of the other things that he eventually was able to accomplish with his son. God clued Dick in to what He saw and that gave him the confidence and drive to step out in faith and do it. And he did. My friend Matt Hoover (of Biggest Loser fame) completed an ironman recently. From the stories and video I saw of his accomplishment, I couldn't imagine doing such a race carrying/dragging/pushing an additional 110lbs - but through strength & trust Dick did just that not once, but many times all across the country.

So many times we look at ourselves the way the world sees us. My prayer today is that God clues us in to what He sees when He looks at us and that we gain strength & courage from that. I'll be meditating on that today and see where it takes me...

"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!" 2 Cor 5:17, NLT

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Info for my YouTube watchers...

2010-01-29T14:49:00.003-05:00

Here's the article from Jillian Michaels on determining your AMR (Active Metabolism Rate):

http://www.jillianmichaels.com/fitness-and-diet-tips/determining-your-AMR

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Which are you?

2010-01-22T10:19:00.001-05:00

"A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked. "What does it mean, mother?" Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity—boiling water—but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?" Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level?

How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?" - Anonymous, "The Carrot, The Egg, & The Coffee Bean"

Had this as my devotion this morning, thought I would share it with everyone. I personally tend to waver between all three, sometimes I am a carrot when something happens that rocks me to my core. Sometimes I am an egg, jaded by the constant bombardment of situations. But there are times when I am a coffee bean and am able to step back and change my perception of situations & learn from them.

Good story... Just thinking of it, a friend of mine shared this story with me years ago...

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

"All you need is love..."

2010-01-15T14:19:00.001-05:00

"Love is all you need..." - The Beatles, "All You Need Is Love"

Woke up this morning wondering what I would note about when the subject of love popped into my head. We often overuse the phrase "love" that kind of takes away its wonder and beauty. "Oh I LOVE this handbag" or "Don't you just LOVE that car" really brings the concept down to almost a carnal nature. Love is a gift, love is most important. If you do not love, life is not worth living. I remember last week's episode of "The Biggest Loser" when the group were gathered around learning from eachother. One of the Tongan brothers spoke of the previous season where Filipe (another Tongan) had his big makeover reveal and how his wife looked at him. He said, wiping tears from his eyes, that he wanted what Filipe had - a woman that loved him deeply. Many of the other contestants concurred that they wanted someone to love and to have someone love them.

Love is important, love from someone else is a gift that is like no other. I am so thankful that I found someone that loves me and cares for me as much as I care for her. I would want to say that I am lucky, but blessed is probably a better term. The apostle Paul laid out how important love is:

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." - 1 Cor 13:1-13, NIV

John also lays out for us the importance of love:

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. " Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us." - 1 Jo 3:16-23, NIV

Having it all except love is meaningless. Money can't buy love, maybe lust or favor for a time, but not love...

Much love to you all from my heart, my friends. Much love...

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Striving for That Ten Percent

2010-01-06T16:09:00.000-05:00

While flipping channels tonight I saw a snippet of a new show that will be featured on Discovery Health which will chronicle the reemergence rise of Eric Chopin, winner of season 3 of "The Biggest Loser". After winning the show, something happened in Eric's life that caused him to gain back all the weight he lost on the show. It seems that this is a trend that tends to happen to those that lose focus on what's important and rest on past achievements. Even one of the people I admire, Matt Hoover (another "The Biggest Loser" winner), gained back over 80lbs in the years since winning.

I read an article a few years back that spoke of a study done on those from my previous weight classification (the super-super-morbidly-obese, and yes, this is a clinical classification). The study was done over a period of years of a group that had lost a substantial amount of weight and the findings showed that only about 10% of the group were able to maintain their weight loss (or continue to lose). The other 90% either gained back all or all their weight plus more.At the height of my weight loss, I had lost half of my original body weight and well within reach of my goal. I was speaking to groups of people, had a popular weekly web show, things were seemingly going my way. But then the dreaded "life-happening" began which took focus away from my goal and found me falling back into old ways. The speaking engagements began to dry up, the website hits began to falter, viewership of the show waned. Soon I began not to care anymore about my goals. My dreams were fading fast. The motivation subsided. I was driven by the accolades of others, the recognition of my achievements. Once they became old news & the accolades faded, the cheering section was gone. I became just another Joe who lost some weight.

Sitting here thinking about my goals for 2010, I realize that I cannot allow this trend to continue. I want to become a part of that 10 percent. I know deep down that I was meant to be an example for others, a leader, an encourager, an inspiration.One of my goals for 2010 is to make it to my initial goal weight. And in making that resolution, realizing that this goal is all up to me. There may be others that will be cheerleaders or encouragers, but unfortunately I can no longer rely on them alone to motivate me. That was my mistake last time around. The only true cheerleader I can count on is the one that I face in the mirror each day as I get ready.

I was sooo close to goal I could taste it and yet I let it slip through my grasp. Learning from one's mistakes and making the right course corrections is on the board this time around.Need to disband one group (Lose, Fatboy, Lose) and focus on starting another - but this time look for members willing to participate and not just sit idly by in the stands...

WANTED - people willing to be a part of something great. Need to be willing to offer encouragement, ask questions, give advice. Payment in the form of knowing that you have helped someone else achieve their goals, inspiration to achieve your own, & satisfaction in being a part of something historic & amazing. Email or respond to this note if you want in on this unique opportunity...

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Fixed for the next time...

2009-12-29T09:30:00.000-05:00

Being a rather frugal guy I keep up on different websites to see the scuttlebutt on new sales or free items both in stores and on the web. Some have panned out, others have not. The title of this note comes from an incident I found on one of the boards regarding a special coupon available to members of a store's club. Inside scoop stated a game would be marked down to $20 and the coupon was for $20 off, essentially making the game free. The boards were flooded that day with people scoring free games left & right, traveling to 4 or 5 different locations to "cash-in". As the afternoon rolled around the store got the clue and shut down the coupon acceptance but not before thousands of dollars of merchandise was lost.

The store's POS (Point-Of-Sale) team neglected to mark the particular game in their system as a sale item, which allowed the coupon to be used. People were "legitimately" using the coupon, but many were abusing the glitch to line their own pockets by trading the games back to the store for credit or to other game stores for profit.

This week another "glitch" was found, 2 more coupons would render the advertised games as free with many on the boards waiting with baited breath to see if another field day of hoarding could be had. Slowly the board began to fill on Sunday morning with reports that the coupons did not work, with the rare instance of a GM overriding the system to avoid a scene. This time the POS team made sure that the games were entered into the system as on sale to void the using of the coupon. Many had griped about it while others told them to "suck it up" and be happy for the week before's freebie.

So many times we fall down because of a flaw or bad decision in our lives. So many times we feel helpless and devoid of confidence when it happens that we continue to fall prey to it's effects time and time again. But it doesn't have to be that way. We can learn from our failures, we can learn from our mistakes, we can learn from our bad decisions. By doing that, we can "fix the glitch" so when we face the challenge again we can make a better choice and break the constant cycle of defeat.

Hell, I have a bunch of "glitches" in my life right now that need attention. I may feel defeated for a short time, but I will learn from them and prepare a plan to "fix" them for the next time. I will overcome, I will win the race, I will become the man I am supposed to be.

"Fall down 7 times, get up 8..." - Japanese proverb

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

"Walks" of Life

2009-12-22T09:54:00.000-05:00

When I run in the mornings I use the time to develop ideas, sort out problems & frustrations, or just contemplate life. This morning was no different, I noticed that the sidewalk plows had not run in a few days as the mild snow dustings of the last week accumulated. This made the perfect canvas for footprints in the snow, all sorts of different prints. There were large bootprints, small bootprints, ladies tennis shoeprints, YakTrax prints (those were mine), prints that slid, prints that were crisp & clear. There were animal prints as well, large dogs & small dogs, squirrels & even rabbits.

Different prints from all walks of life. Some taken seriously (those who were exercising), some taken in fun (the sliding prints), but all filled with some sort of purpose. This morning I think of some of the important walks we take in life from our first steps, our first walk to school alone (or walk to the bus stop), our graduation walk(s), the walk down the aisle, the walk to quiet our newborns, and our final walk to glory.

We all experience our own "life walk" at our own pace. Some are a bit further down their path than others, some seem to struggle and dawdle along, while still others are just beginning to take their first steps. We can all learn from each other's "walks" by erecting mile markers or milestones along the way as an encouragement to those behind us. Kind words, advice, time, comfort, giving, these milestones are great encouragers.

Set up some milestones today along your walk for others to find and gain from...

"And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love." 2 Jn 1:6, NIV

"Everywhere is walking distance IF you have the time..." - Steven Wright

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Be Yourself... No Matter What...

2009-12-17T03:49:00.003-05:00

I sit here at the computer at 4am, just came back from a run to clear my head. One thing I seem to constantly have to learn is to be myself no matter what. Trying to be everything to everybody will get you nowhere but depressed. I admire my namesake from the bible because he wasn't like any of the other disciples. He was an outsider, a tax collector, a person despised by his own people (the Jews), and yet Christ made him one of the 12 to be a part of His life and help to spread Christ's ministry to the known world.

I don't think that meeting was happenstance. I believe it was a message that God (and Christ for that matter) accepts and loves everyone, from the fishermen to the tax collectors. I don't know what kind of relationship Matthew had with the others, I can imagine he may have remained an outsider because he didn't have much in common with the rest other than being a Jew and being chosen by Christ. I'm sure he had his own moments of disconnection & depression about being "on the outside looking in".

Had some things happen last night that really nailed it for me. My own moment of disconnection & depression which I tried to medicate through some unhealthy choices. Let me say that the feelings you have about rejection aren't going to go away with a couple of lemon bars or handful of Chex mix. I tried to sleep but decided that I needed to get out and run to deal with what I was feeling. Having time to clear my head and begin to work through these emotions has helped a bit. It's helped me to get this stuff down in writing for further contemplation and time to begin the healing process.

One thing that came up during my run was an old adage, "You can please all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time, but you cannot please all of the people all of the time." You need to be who you are no matter what. If this doesn't please or "click" with other people, so be it. We are all different, we come from different walks of life, there isn't one person on the planet that can please or "click" with everyone. What fun would life be if we were all the same, had all the same interests, looked the same, talked the same, reasoned & thought the same? Diversity is a good thing, learning from others is important, sharing with others is important, being who God made you to be is important. Trying to please everyone or being someone you're not shortchanges not only yourself, but others as well.

Rejection will sting, I can understand and sympathize with that, but it will sting less if you truly tried to be who you were made to be and not some false self to gain acceptance. I think of the veteran that stands at the corner of River Avenue & 9th Street. I thought he was odd, standing there in an old Navy uniform with a flag and saluted cars as they passed by. But now I think of him this morning and I have a sense of awe for him. He was out there doing what he wanted to do, regardless of what others thought. He got the occasional honk of approval but mostly was ignored or gawked at by passersby.

"As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at his tax collector’s booth. “Follow me and be my disciple,” Jesus said to him. So Matthew got up and followed him." Mat 9:9, NLT

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

"Scratches" & Milestones...

2009-12-02T15:47:00.001-05:00

This morning when I was brushing my teeth, I was staring into the mirror when light had kind of "glinted" off of something on my shoulder. This caught my attention so I started to inspect my shoulder and saw faint remnants of stretch marks that criss-cross my body. Now a faint pale, they are reminders of where I had once been. I remember when those marks were pink (and sometimes red) as the skin stretched and strained its way to mold itself to my humongous frame of fatness. I recall irritated areas that literally broke apart & wept because it could not hold the weight. Those were painful days for me, painful and embarrassing. And how they itched! The new stretch-marks growing skin felt like ants crawling all over my body.

One summer I remember 2 friends from my neighborhood and myself rode our bikes to my aunt & uncle's house to go swimming. My aunt said we could stop by and go swimming if someone was home and so on one particularly hot day we headed over. I took off my shirt before getting into the pool when one friend commented, "Where'd you get all those scratches?" not realizing they were stretch-marks. My other friend knew what they were and quietly told the other to let it go. I played it off, but that was the last time I took my shirt off in public (if I had the choice to do so).

I posted a status a couple of weeks ago about people or things can do nothing to make a person change but rather the person has to WANT to change. I look back at all the things said, the embarrassing situations, & even the physical signs, and find that none of that had any effect on my own mindset. It wasn't until I wanted to change that change began to happen for me.

Pulling my loose skin tight I can see those stretch-marks, feeling them as they have now become merely ripples and no longer prominent. This morning when I got up I noticed the necklace holding my original wedding band had broke and come loose from around my neck. I put the necklace away until I can get it fixed, while the wedding band sits on the index finger of my right hand. I'll wear it there for a bit and then put it away so I won't lose it. But the stretch-marks will stay with me forever as a constant reminder of where I've come from and how far I've come. They have become a milestone in my life, and now I appreciate them as just that.

I wonder what other areas of my life contain stretch-marks, reminders of where I've come from and how far I've come. I'm sure they are there...

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

"So I christen you 'Titanic'..."

2009-11-13T11:58:00.003-05:00

"Underestimate & swim!" - Superchic[k], "One Girl Revolution"

I caught this lyric yesterday while on my noon walk. Superchic[k] is one of my favorite bands because not only do they rock out & Melissa is my sweetie (I still fondly recall the huge hug I got from her a few years back), but some of their songs really hit on some positive messages that appeal to me. "Get Up" is still my life anthem, no matter how many times I may fall I WILL get back up again...

The whole song deals with being who you are and although much of it is chick-based, it's still a concept that everyone can grasp. Many of us are afraid of being who we are because who we are may not fit the mainstream. We would rather put on a front to 'fit in' and suffer in silence than to walk free and be who we are. And that's a sad comment. Each one of us was created differently and uniquely, each created for a specific purpose and with specific gifts. We were meant to compliment eachother, bless eachother, help eachother with our uniqueness. How boring would it be if we were all the same? What would be the point?

The above lyric is a response to someone that only sees the outside of people, basically underestimating her by not getting to know her. The old fighting adage goes, "NEVER underestimate your opponent", the singer is equating herself to the iceberg that the Titanic hit because of the person's underestimation of her and her potential. By basing your opinions on superficial things, you could be missing out on something great.

I've often underestimated people or made superficial judgements. In some ways I did it to not hurt any feelings, other ways I did not believe in the person fully that they could achieve what I needed them to achieve. I've been underestimated throughout my life. Being overweight tends to attract that, people making judgements about me personally by the way I look. I have been bothered by this, but now I am beginning to realize that it truly is THEIR LOSS and not mine. I know parents and friends over the years have tried to comfort or soften blows to my self-esteem by parroting those words, but now that I have time to step back and think - there is truth in those words. Takes a little of the sting out of being rejected, not all of the sting but a little.

I've even been guilty of underestimating myself. I began a new workout routine where I alternate days of strength-training/yoga with cardio/circuit-training, along with an altered running schedule. I didn't think that I could handle almost an hour of intense exercise after running, so many times I have wanted to cut back. Getting into the shower each morning after peeling off my sweat-soaked clothing, I realize that I'm more capable that what I thought. I'll continue to be conscious of that and keep pushing the envelope.

The point of this note? "Don't judge a book by it's cover, you may be missing out on something great!"

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

"Erase myself..."

2009-10-23T15:57:00.001-04:00

"And let go of what I've done..." - Linkin Park, "What I've Done"

Bren & I are fans of "The Biggest Loser", so you can find us on Tuesday nights at home in front of the idiot box cheering/crying/yelling at those we love & love-to-hate on the show. Last night one team was allowed to go home for a week, which was both a blessing & a curse to each member. Being secluded on campus with access to a gym & ONLY healthy options for food , it's easy to lose weight and drop huge numbers. In the real world filled with temptations even bigger than those during challenges and limited access to a gym or swimming pool - the struggle to lose weight is greater and more difficult.

The one thing that reminded me so much of my former-self were the clips of both Dina & Shay going out to eat with their families. Both of them were dumb-founded and shocked at the meals people were eating around them. Gently prodding her husband to get a doggy-bag for the rest of his massive burrito, Dina got the response "Doggy-bags are for dessert" as he shoved another forkful in his mouth. Shay was dismayed as her family ate greasy chicken fingers, ranch dressing, chicken wings, many of the things she used to enjoy. She had a sad epiphany, her stepchildren were eating like this because that's what they had seen her eat over the years. She taught them by example and she was both ashamed & saddened by that.

And I thought about the things I used to do to abuse myself. All the extra orders of fries, burgers, 2-liters, gallons of ice cream I downed in one sitting without a second thought. Here's an example of a typical fast food order for myself - this was just MY order:

Whopper w/ cheese, heavy pickle & ketchup
Cheeseburger, heavy pickle & ketchup
King-size fry King-size onion ring
King-size Dr. Pepper
Chocolate pie (not the usual, but often)

I could down all of this in one sitting, over 3000 calories of food, and not blink twice. Buffets were to me a paradise of gluttony. I could simply eat plate after plate after plate after plate, only stopping when I felt the food begin to come back up. And then stick my hand into a bag of chips when I got home from the restaurant. Food became (and still is) my drug-of-choice when dealing with stress or depression in my life. I've often said that it may in many cases be easier for a smoker or alcoholic to quit their addictions because they do not need those vices in order to live. Food addicts have to struggle with their choices everyday because food is needed for the sustainability of life.

Often when Bren and I go out to eat now, we typically share a meal (unless it's a special occasion). It wouldn't be uncommon to see us out at Logan's Roadhouse with the following at our table:
Logan's Roadhouse 8oz sirloin (split in half)
Side of fries (for Bren)
Small Caesar salad (for me)
Coke or ice water (for Bren)
Unsweetened iced tea w/ lemon (for me)

It's satisfying but not over-filling. I am sure there are those that read this note and think I'm crazy or nutty, but I'm not who I was. I am constantly learning how to eat properly, a lesson that I am continually reminded of. I have to tell myself each and every day that I'm not that guy anymore, I don't need food for comfort when I have a bad day. Food isn't going to fix the depression I am feeling at this moment.

I need to remember my past has been blotted out. I AM a new creation...

"He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west." Ps 103:12, NLT

"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!" 2 Cor 5:17, NLT

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

10/16/09 - Cookie Cutters

2009-10-16T09:44:00.002-04:00

While checking my email online or going to Facebook I noticed some things recently. It seems that all the advertisements that help keep those sources free have to do with one thing - weightloss. I've been bombarded with ads for pills, surgery centers, shakes, all sorts of other gimmicks touted to help me shed tons of weight.

I chalked it up to "keyword ads", taking words from my email signature or from my profile to generate the ads that I see. I got to thinking about it. How many people have been "suckered" into claims of losing tons of weight only to be disappointed and disillusioned when it doesn't work for them?

We are all different, we have been gifted in many different ways. Honestly there really isn't a true "cookie cutter" way to lose weight other than to take in less calories than you expend. Your personality, your strengths & weaknesses, likes & dislikes will all help you determine what plan of action works best for you.

Dan Miller (www.48days.com) talks sometimes about finding your passion rather than finding a lucrative career. One example he often gives is that of the Subway franchise, one of the hottest restaurant franchises out there. Just because it's a hot franchise doesn't mean that it will instantly make you money. Franchise owners have a business plan & support from a larger corporation but its up to them to make it work. Many owners spend upwards of 70-80hrs a week at their stores, dealing with employee turnover, inventory, etc. Is your personality geared toward something like that? I know I couldn't handle something like that, the stress would be incredible...

You need to sit down and go over who you are. With the answers you receive, look around at the different weightloss plans & products and try to find one that fits you. Of course modification will be necessary, but find something you can accomplish and works with you. You'll be on your way to weightloss in no time...

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Starting Fresh (again...)

2009-10-09T09:52:00.000-04:00

Was switching around my radio presets this morning to find some music for Logan & I to lsten to on the way to daycare and came across a preset that I hadn't listen to in a while. I love music in general, some genres more than others but I am willing to give them a chance and can see their merits. This particular station used to play the "moldie oldies" from the 1950's and early 1960's (before psychedelia took over). The DJs were of that generation and the morning guys really tended to "play up" the wackiness that used to be found on the dial back in the day. Switching to that preset found me ear-to-ear with "The Bob & Tom Show", a syndicated radio show based out of Indianapolis, IN.

Apparently the station had switched its format from one of "the golden age of Rock & Roll" to that of more of a "classic hits" appeal that encompasses music from the 60's through 90's. The morning wacky DJs were gone, in their stead was a program that more truely fit the demographic of their target audience. Kind of reminded me of the film, "AirHeads", in which one of the sub-plots of the movie was a heavy metal rock station was in the process of changing formats to that of a lite rock station - unknown to the DJs or other staff members. My thoughts came back to that of people I knew in elementary school that came back from summer vacation and entered middle school totally changed. Their appearance, clothing, everything seemed to change in a brief period of time. Seeing it as time to start over, start fresh, try on a new persona with a new crowd.

Sometimes we aren't given the choice on whether or not to start fresh. Sometimes life seems to make that decision for us and we are left starting at level zero. Oftentimes we get down about it, thinking about all that we had lost instead of seeing the opportunities ahead of us. I remember a time in my life where things came crashing down and I literally had to start from zero. I had lost friends, respect, job, there wasn't much more that could have been taken from me other than my freedom. But looking back these many years later, I see it now as my time to start fresh. Many of the old aspects of my life had been cut away, the things that may have been keeping me down were now gone. It was a long road of rebuilding, but along that road I found a new job, my first "real" girlfriend (and first wife), a lot of firsts and renewals came to me.

I think of a couple of bible characters that ended up starting fresh (again...):

Noah - God told him to build and ark for him, his family, & the animals. Noah started fresh with repopulating the earth

Job - Due to no fault of his own (other than being born), Job lost everything. After a time of suffering & questioning, he started fresh again and flourished

Matthew - Burned a ton of bridges when he left his tax stand to follow Christ. Many, many, many people have come to know Christ because of his life starting fresh

Paul - Once the most merciless & feared man among Christians, God allowed him to start fresh leading many people (even ones today) into a relationship with Christ

Are you going through a "pruning" in your life? Dreading having to start fresh (again...)? It may not be as bad as you think!

"The LORD blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the first. He had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen and a thousand donkeys. And he also had seven sons and three daughters. The first daughter he named Jemimah, the second Keziah and the third Keren-Happuch. Nowhere in all the land were there found women as beautiful as Job's daughters, and their father granted them an inheritance along with their brothers." Job 42:12-15, NLT

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Compromises...

2009-10-02T09:05:00.001-04:00

Yesterday morning I began preparing my chili for the Zeeland Pumpkinfest cook-off and had been feeling a bit down about it. This is my 4th year competing in the competition, my 4th attempt to at least place, my 4th different recipe to present. I can't really say that it's a "true" competition in that the judges are the general public and not culinary experts/restauranteurs/professional chefs as you would see in other cook-offs. I say "true" in that fashion because the popular vote defeats (at least in my opinion) what I consider chili to be. "People-pleasing" chili at these contests means a mild, almost weak chili bordering on soup. My mantra when it comes to chili is, "Chili that isn't spicy is just bean soup..."

In trying a new recipe I cut back on the spice in an attempt to create something that would be palatable & hopefully pleasing to the cadre of elderly that tend to show up at these contests (for the "free meal"). I have to say I felt dirty. I felt like I was making a compromise to what I believed in order to get ahead. It's not a good feeling, a feeling that begins in your gut and wells up into your spirit. A feeling of wrongness, of defeat, of disgust.

I've had that feeling at other times in my life as well. We all have our beliefs and when something comes across our path that compromises them, we have a choice to make. We can either stand firm on them and accept the consequences or we can back down and allow the compromise to occur. Often this is the "easy" way out and we try to pass it off as a "necessary" evil or "no big thing". These excuses are flimsy and that knot in our stomach is telling us as such.

I have heard stories of people that have compromised their marriages, their children, their jobs, everything to reach a goal that in their mind they have figured was worth it. Ultimately when they reach that goal it turns into a hollow victory because they have no one important to them left to celebrate with or they feel even more unfulfilled. The goal turned out not to be worth all the compromises, as if they had been lied to.

I thought about that all day, thinking about those crockpots in my kitchen simmering away, just not feeling right. I get home and stir the pots, unplugging them to get them ready for the fridge, and I decide to taste them. I was in for a shock. The chili was not mild as I had belly-ached over, but turned rather spicy as the day wore on. I felt better knowing that even though I changed the recipe to try to meet the approval of the masses, I had in fact created a chili that I actually was proud of. Quickly I emailed the coordinator of the cook-off and asked her to change my placard from "Traditional-Mild" to "Traditional-Spicy".

I may not win an award tonight, but at least I am going to be serving a chili that I had not compromised my belief in.Whether it's putting a item back in the right place at the grocery store instead of just anywhere to refusing to "fudge" something on a document - stand firm on your beliefs, don't compromise! You'll love yourself for it!

"Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." Romans 12:2, NLT

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Involuntary Movements

2009-09-18T13:54:00.001-04:00

Like I've mentioned before, I see A LOT of roadkill on my way into work in the mornings. From deer to possum to rabbit, either on the side of the road or in the middle of it - the carnage strewn over the highway lanes. I've never, however, seen roadkill that was STILL ALIVE until yesterday morning.

While on my way to work I noticed some movement out on the left side of the road. I passed the area of the movement and saw a raccoon on its side, right leg & arm in a constant twitching motion. I was creeped out and a bit horrified by the sight. Obviously the raccoon was the victim of a vehicle collision and the twitching was an involuntary muscle spasm. I got to work and all I could really do was think of that raccoon for the first 1/2 hour or so of the day. Sure it was a gruesome way to start the day but I think some good came of it.

How many times have we gone through life with some of our own 'involuntary' responses to things that happen around or to us? How often have we taken the negative road when something bad happens to us instead of trusting and looking for a positive? How often do we automatically ignore those that are different from us or defensive when someone criticizes us? How often have we decided to stay within our "comfort zone" and it's involuntary responses rather than step out and try something new or different?

I think of that song by Matthew West, "The Motions":
"I don't wanna go through the motions I don't wanna go one more day..."

The whole song talks about living day in and day out in a "comfort zone" of sorts where everything is predictable, where things happen in an almost-automatic fashion. And yet the singer wishes to break free from that, understanding the risk & pain involved with stepping out of that "comfort zone" & really living life.

When I think of someone that stepped out of his own "comfort zone" and into the world of the unknown, I think of my namesake Matthew from the bible. I've noted about Matthew before and how I can really relate to him. Matthew (or his prior name, Levi) was a tax collector - a MUCH-HATED person among the Jews. All that changed in an instant when Jesus told him to become his disciple. It said that Levi got up, left everything, & followed Jesus.

I can imagine that Matthew was wealthy, often tax collectors of his day charged exorbitant taxes & fees - far above that which was required of the Roman Empire - in order to line their own pockets. I'm sure he had friends within the Roman Empire & among the weathier Jews as well. Time filled with wine, women, song, & wealth. But Matthew decided to make a change, to step away from what was familiar to him - what was comfortable - and stepped into the unknown. To go from involuntary living to a life of adventure & discovery.

Is your life a series of involuntary movements? Come with me, step away from your "comfort zone" and step into an adventure! Just like Matthew, you WON'T be sorry...

"Later, as Jesus left the town, he saw a tax collector named Levi sitting at his tax collector’s booth. “Follow me and be my disciple,” Jesus said to him. So Levi got up, left everything, and followed him." Luke 5:27-28, NLT

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Just Being Human...

2009-09-11T16:38:00.001-04:00

I've started reading a new book today, well I should say that I've started listening to a new book today while out on my noon walk. The book is entitled "Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections Between Sexuality & Spirituality" by Rob Bell (pastor of Mars Hill Bible Church & creator/host of the NOOMA DVD series). I "read" his first book, "Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith", which I thought was interesting as well. Although I have just begun the book, there was one story that moved me.

He relays a story from the diary of a Lt. Col. that was sent into the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp after its liberation at the end of WWII. His diary recounts the atrocities he and his fellow soldiers witnessed while there, piles of dead bodies, women choking on their own vomit because they were too weak to roll over, just horrible things that make you wonder how human beings could allow such a place to exist. But Rob had earlier made a point that the concentration camps were designed to remove the "humanity" from the prisoners, reducing them to just numbers and not individuals.

Later in the diary, the Lt. Col. writes this passage after the British Red Cross arrive with supplies that included for some reason a large container filled with red lipstick:"I don’t know who asked for lipstick. I wish so much that I could discover who did it, it was the action of genius, sheer unadulterated brilliance. I believe nothing did more for these internees than the lipstick. Women lay in bed with no sheets and no nightie but with scarlet red lips, you saw them wandering about with nothing but a blanket over their shoulders, but with scarlet red lips. I saw a woman dead on the post mortem table and clutched in her hand was a piece of lipstick. At last someone had done something to make them individuals again, they were someone, no longer merely the number tattooed on the arm. At last they could take an interest in their appearance. That lipstick started to give them back their humanity."

Looking at it from a customer service point-of-view, how many times have we just looked at customers as a 'nuisance' or just an account number, becoming so jaded from the abuse resulting from their frustrations or problems. How often do we really step back and try to look at the situation through their eyes, giving them that 'humanity', trying to understand where they are coming from?

"I'd love my job if it weren't for the customers..." Randall, "Clerks"

Hell, I've been abused more times than I care to count in all the years I have worked in the customer service sector. I've been verbally & physically assaulted because of people's anxiety or frustration & their previous contact with uncaring persons. Even I have been stripped of my 'humanity' in these situations, not known as a caring or feeling person but rather a part of 'the company' that's trying to rip them off or screw them around.

Like it or not, we ALL were created in the image of God whether you choose to believe it or not. Being kind to your fellow man (or woman) shows your love for your creator. Think about that the next time you come across someone having a bad time of things and lashing out at those around them. Love them, help them (if you can), give them some 'humanity' as you deal with them...

"So God created human beings in his own image.In the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them." Gen 1:27, NLT

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Deceiving Looks

2009-09-04T10:07:00.000-04:00

Bren had a bit of a harrowing experience yesterday with a vehicle we were considering purchasing. From the Craigslist ad to the actual visual inspection of the outside of the vehicle, it looked to fit the bill for everything we were hoping for. It wasn't until we had an expert look at the vehicle more in-depth that the real dangers were revealed.The vehicle seemed perfect with no rust, a great sound system, even a sunroof option. We as humans often look at the outside and make our judgments based on that rather than looking to more important things that would give us a better indicator as to our judgment of people or things.

The report from the mechanic was not favorable at all. Even though the outside of the vehicle looked great, it was the inside of the vehicle (the inner workings) that was filled with trouble. Here's a list of some of the things:

- Both upper & lower ball joints needed replacing- The ENTIRE exhaust system needed replacing
- The battery was loose inside the engine compartment (not tied down - very dangerous)
- The rear brakes were almost gone (literally)
- Many other things that the mechanic found but didn't list out

He didn't really feel comfortable letting such an unsafe vehicle leave the lot & Bren white-knuckled it back to the owner's house praying all the way.

On the other hand, looking at the vehicle we have currently, it looks like a tired POS with random stains on the seats & carpet, missing material from the roof, 3 missing hubcaps, peeling paint & other cosmetic issues that make it seem that's it's not worth or safe to drive. BUT, it has a new exhaust system, new tires, new engine (with only 50,000 miles on it), the outside looks like crap but the inner workings are top-notch.

People walk around all the time looking like everything's going their way or presenting themselves as being "with it" or "having it all" when on the inside they are a complete wreck either emotionally or physically. Teetering on the edge of collapse or worse, the world judges them as being successful and an example for others to lust after. I recall an old miner's saying, "All that glitters is not gold..."

Whether it's a car, a job, or meeting a new person, be sure to "look under the hood" before you make any rash judgments... You may be surprised at what you find...

"But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”" 1 Sam 16:7, NLT

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

"What I've felt..."

2009-08-14T14:42:00.001-04:00

"What I've known,
Never shined through in what I've shown.
Never free,
Never me,
So I dub thee UNFORGIVEN..." - Metallica, "Unforgiven"

"It is not the quantity of people you know; it is the quality of the connections with them." - Rabbi Daniel Lapin

I was thinking about this situation Bren and I had dealt with fairly recently. For the longest time we had struggled with the thought that we didn't try hard enough or give the situation enough time to see results. We felt like failures in a sense, as if there was something wrong with us. But oddly enough, we found solace in talking to others that had experienced what we had. Their stories of trying for even longer than us and (as strangely as this sounds) their own story of failing in the same situation comforted us. It helped us to realize that although there were some things we could have done a little differently, by and large it probably wouldn't have given us what we were looking for.

Rabbi Lapin had the above nugget in his weekly newsletter that I subscribe to. The whole newsletter spoke about loneliness & how man was not created to be alone. He brought up an interesting point, in the old testament when cherubs are mentioned - there are always 2 , not one. After Adam & Eve were banished from Eden, 2 cherubs were sent to protect the entrance. On the ark of the covenant, 2 cherubs are located on the cover. 2 of each animal ended up on the ark of Noah. Paul in the new testament speaks often about lifting eachother up and encouraging one another. Connecting with others to not only share the love of Christ, but also to share in eachother's experiences & troubles.

It's important that we connect with eachother. Paul explains that although we are one body in Christ, we are all different parts of that body. Because we are different doesn't mean that one is more superior than the other, it means that we are ALL important whether we are a "hand", a "foot", or an "eye". By making connections with others, we can enrich our own lives and expand our knowledge by enjoying eachothers unique qualities & gifts.

Yesterday I sent an email to someone about setting up a small group in our home. I've facilitated FPU classes, helped teach classes, & we've hosted the occasional prayer group. Bren & I felt led to send out this request in order to make some real, genuine, & solid connections with fellow believers in Christ. We pray that this is where God is leading us...

How are your connections? Are they strong or in need of some repair?

"Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”" - Gen 2:18, NLT

"Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!" Romans 12:16, NLT

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Rotten From The Inside...

2009-08-08T08:48:00.000-04:00

The road I travel to work in the morning is a magnet for animal traffic as well. I've witnessed all sorts of animals cross the road, from birds to rabbits to even deer (had a close-encounter with a deer close to a month ago). Unfortunately many animals don't make it and it takes a while for the highway department to clean up the massacre. I've been noticing a raccoon carcass off to the side of the road the past few weeks. Everyday I've been able to notice the subtle changes to it. Witnessing nature's recycling, seeing it change from a carcass to just fur & bones. Gross, I know, but I think about that and how it applies to our own lives.

Seeing that animal reminds me of the story of Dorian Gray, a horror story written by Oscar Wilde. The tale told of the story of Dorian Gray and his fascination with a painting someone had painted of him. Lamenting that the beauty of his visage found in that painting would be lost in himself as he aged, he made a deal to sell his soul in return that the painting would age and he would retain his youthful good looks. Becoming a depraved individual, Dorian fell into gross debauchery with no regard to the consequences. 18 years had past, Dorian still looking his youthful self, locked in an attic for years he revealed the painting to the painter - a sickening sight. The painting had aged and acquired the signs, scars, & effects of every debauched act that Dorian committed. Eventually Dorian had enough and tried to destroy the painting, killing himself in the process.

So what's that got to do with anything? I suppose the analogy would be that any thing that we "try" to hide will eventually be found out - no matter how "good" we are at hiding it. Corporations have crumbled due to "cooking their books" to look profitable on paper but reality catches up. People have been caught in their own web of lies, I think of stories like Vanilla Ice (lied about being from "da hood"), James Frey (his book, "A Million Little Pieces" ended up on Oprah's reading list and he gained fame & fortune, but was found to be a fraud and his "real life" book fictional), or a Vietnam vet I read about recently that had many honors given to him by local and national foundations over the years only to find out that his service was questionable & the medals he claimed he received were purchased from surplus stores.

We may put on a good "front" that we want the world to see, a "front" of success/wealth/happiness. But like a house of cards, it's only a matter of time before the whole thing collapses and the truth comes to light...

"Truthful words stand the test of time,but lies are soon exposed." - Prov 12:19, NLT

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Reaching...

2009-06-12T15:50:00.002-04:00

The fish are jumping all over Lake Macatawa. I see them everytime I pass by the black lake on my walks. Large carp & catfish leaping out of the water, reaching for that tasty morsel that is just above them. I'm still jumping on my weightloss journey, still reaching for that next level. How about you? Are you reaching for that next level or have you fallen back into a "woe is me" attitude because you've fallen off the trail?

Never say quit. I've gotten off track myself. Hell, today is the first day in 2 weeks that I am actually writing down my food & exercise. But I won't quit. I may be down, but I won't be down for long. I have too much riding on my successful weightloss to throw it all away. I have too many people I need to encourage and inspire to change their lives for the better. I've got too many friends and family members counting on me to stick with this.

Jump with me, jump up to that next level, that tasty morsel of pounds lost or clothes size decreases. I've heard it before, nothing tastes as good as thin feels...

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Toxic People...

2009-06-05T08:58:00.002-04:00

I read an article the other day that talks about 8 different toxic personalities and why to avoid them. I identified several of these types of personalities in friends and acquaintances that I think are contributing to keeping me from my full potential. Here's the article, tell me which personalities can you see in the people you associate with:

8 Toxic Personalities To Avoid

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

It works if you work it...

2009-05-28T09:18:00.000-04:00

I was thinking about that today. I joined an online think-tank type website that is a pool of people that gather together to share ideas and ask questions. I thought it might help me with developing some sort of product, service, or inspire some writing ideas to help get my little company (413 Fitness Concepts) off the ground. But I haven't had any success with it. I get emails from the group from time to time but really haven't reached my expectations from the group. But then it hit me - I haven't been an active participant. If I expect to get something out of the group, I need to expect to jump in and use the resources of the group.

On the subject of 'working a program', I've gotten a bit off track with my weightloss recently. For one reason or another I just haven't felt all that motivated. I have been keeping up with my morning exercise and afternoon walks but haven't gone for a run in about a week. I am thankful that I have kept up with some exercise but haven't keep a food diary for at least a month. I got a new food scale for my birthday but have yet to use it. And yet I am afraid to get on the scale tomorrow for my weekly weigh-in knowing that I've been off-track. The number tomorrow shouldn't be a surprise, I haven't been working my personal program so how can I expect a weightloss?

Bren told me a couple of weeks ago about an aquaintance that had bragged about being in this month's issue of Reader's Digest because of her weightloss. She had been (still is) on one of those medical 'milkshake' diet programs and had lost 100 or so pounds. The way it was portrayed to Bren was that this person was going to have a story in the magazine. Bren thought, "Geez, my husband lost over 200lbs on his own without some special diet. He should be the one getting a story in RD!" Well, Bren got her hands on a copy of RD and found not a story but rather a 1-page advert for the diet program with her picture featured.

Why bring this up? Well, for one I have decided that one of my goals is to get a story in RD on my weightloss accomplishment and for second she was on a program and worked it. Using the tools and following the guidelines she met her goal. It works if you work it...

Where does that leave me? Well, it leaves me with the choice - the choice to get back up and dust myself off or continue to wallow. I choose to get back up.A side note - I got the story on Kirstie Alley and how she packed the pounds back on. Apparently when her contract ended with Nutri-System, she fell back into her old eating habits. That particular program doesn't deal with behavior-modification I guess...

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Consequences...

2009-05-19T10:17:00.000-04:00

Having to deal with some consequences of an insured already this morning. From time to time insurance companies run what are called in the industry UDI reports - Undisclosed Driver Information. We as agents can do the same thing, the reports are generated from the Secretary of State's database of registered vehicles and drivers in the state of Michigan.

I can type in an address and it will give me all of the vehicles and drivers listed at that particular address. This is helpful when people can't give me their spouse's drivers license or don't have access to their vehicle's VIN (for quoting purposes).

Anyway, one of our insurance companies has been running UDIs for the past week and coming up with drivers not rated on auto policies. It's up to us as agents to contact the insured to find out if the person is a member of the household and has coverage elsewhere. It's up to the insured to provide the information as far as other residency or other coverage. Most of these cases have been children that have gotten licenses but the parents "forgot" to call the agency to add them to the policy. This happens often when insureds are trying to save a buck.

One particular UDI I got today was a WOW moment. Can't give details, but parents will not be happy with the insurance premium if they cannot prove other residency or coverage elsewhere. It's THAT bad...

Consequences for our actions. My wife and I are constantly trying to instill this in our son. Don't clean your room = no Xbox 360 for a week. Spend all your money at the dollar store = no money for garage sales on Saturday. I myself am still learning the concept of consequences, don't exercise & overeat your daily calories = weight gain. Wait until the last minute to mow the lawn = a super-heavy overfilled yard waste dumpster. Listen to crap in the morning = poor attitude all day.

Sooner or later our actions will catch up to us with the consequences. Some may not be immediate, they may appear over time - but make no mistake, the consequences of our actions will come.

Like my wife and I ask Javan almost daily - "Are you going to make the right choice today?"

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

What's Your Trigger??

2009-05-15T09:44:00.001-04:00

There are different triggers for different people that cause them to run to food for comfort. There are a few big ones that I have dealt with (and still continue to struggle with):

Stress – Although I am getting better, I deal rather poorly with stress. I used to delve into food as a lifesaver from the “drowning” feeling I sometimes get when feeling pressured or stressed out. At the time, a family-size deluxe nachos with extra salsa & sour cream made the pressure seem to float away with the lofty aroma of the seasoned beef & cheese, but ultimately it only made things worse. Thus the cycle would roll into another trigger: guilt.

Guilt – another trigger that many people deal with, guilt can be just as bad as stress. Whether the guilt is deserved or a “phantom’ guilt, either one can be dangerous to your journey.

Emotions – If you are a very emotional person, this one will get you every time. I always seem to eat when I am in a poor mood. Eating out of disappointment, sadness, loneliness, if my spirits are low I thought that food could lift me above the mire and out into the sunshine of happiness. Honestly I have never heard of someone bingeing because they were happy; bingeing seems to occur when bad things happen to us.

Boredom – We all seem to fall into this trigger from time to time. Flipping through the channels with a bag of chips or popcorn, staring blankly into the refrigerator, nibbling on munchies at work in the lulls of the afternoon.

Habit – Buffalo wings at the bowling alley, that extra piece of cake at the wedding reception, 3 trips to the Chinese buffet, I’m sure you can think of other social situations where your unconscious habits tend to be on “auto-pilot”.

In all of these situations you need to take a step back and make some conscious choices. You need to rationally think and pray about these and other potential over-eating triggers. If you tend to over-eat at a buffet, then in the beginning of your journey you need to avoid going to a buffet restaurant and stick with a take-out or sit-down restaurant until you feel comfortable in your walk to venture into those types of places.

If stress is your downfall, then prayer and relaxation needs to be your alternative to food. Listen to a nature sounds CD, go for a brisk walk and praise God for the work He is doing in your life. Talk it out; rationalize whether or not this stress is real or misplaced. Sometimes we stress about things that we either have no control over or are not responsible for.

Emotional eating is a difficult (but not impossible) trigger to avoid. With your support system in place, you will have that as a substitute for the “comfort” foods you used to run to. Don’t leave feelings bottled up inside, talk to your pastor, friend, or find a counselor to help you through what ever you are experiencing. Don’t forget to include the ultimate counselor, Jesus Christ, whenever you feel down, depressed, or disappointed.

Bad habits take time to break; the apparent “rule” is that it takes 21 days for something to become a habit. So it will take 21 days of trial and error to break yourself of your old habits and form new ones.

Boredom can be combated with things like a new hobby, reading a book, listening to an inspirational CD, fill that empty void with something that will improve and enrich your life.

I myself still struggle with many of these triggers, but I am getting better everyday. Keep your eye on the prize to a healthier, happier you and the pull of these triggers will lessen. They may never go away but their strength will be diminished if you actively pursue alternative solutions to beat them.

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Tulip Time Run Results...

2009-05-05T12:18:00.000-04:00

Bib #419
Name Matthew Vanderplow
Residence Location Zeeland MI
Sex M
Age Division 35-39
Current Age 35
Chip Time 43:16
Clock Time 43:16
Overall Place 427th
Sex Place 270th
Age Division Place 18th
Global Division Place 30.4%

Soooooo, what does all that mean?
- I didn't place last overall (485 contestants, I passed at least 12 people including 2 teenage girls, 2 teenage guys, and a plethora of kids)
- I didn't place last for the men (303 male contestants, although a lot of the "men" were kids from some youth group that decided to try the 5k instead of the kid's fun run)
- I didn't place last in my division (20 males, 35-39 age division, even I was shocked)
- I placed in the 30.4% of other 35-39 males that completed a 5k race in the same timeframe around the globe (anything over 60%, or a time of 22 minutes would place me in the normal class for my age group)

There was 1 first in there, I wasn't last for my age division. All this on a bum ankle... Well, onto the next race!

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Entitlement...

2009-04-29T14:39:00.003-04:00

I read an article the other day and shared it on my podcast, 'The Fattening of America" about airlines beginning to charge overweight passengers more for passage on their planes. They reason that if you cannot fit into one seat, you should be required to purchase the additional seat you will be occupying.

Now I can see some backlash coming down the pipe with this arrangement. Some lawyer could create a class-action suit claiming discrimination on the airline's behalf by making obese people (the poor people that cannot stop themselves from being obese) pay more for their flights. As if they have entitlement to not having to pay more.

Hey, 5 years ago I would have had to pay extra for a seat on an aircraft and probably wouldn't have made a stink about it. It's embarrassing enough to have to ask for an additional seat plus a seatbelt extender. It was my own fault I became obese and being "soft" on me is no way to help me make better choices but rather it would only allow me to wallow in my obesity.

Maybe I'm rambling, but we all have choices to make. Sometimes we make the right choices and other times we do not. We need to pay for the consequences of those choices regardless. If that means paying more for health insurance or an airline ticket - so be it. Maybe by hitting people where it hurts most - the pocketbook - we could begin a trend of people making healthier choices in their lives and reduce our nation's obesity ranks.

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

My race results...

2009-04-21T09:39:00.001-04:00

Bib #138
Name Matthew Vanderplow
Residence Location Zeeland MI
Sex M
Age Division 35-39
Current Age 35
Chip Time 41:35
Clock Time 41:48
Overall Place 74th
Sex Place 37
Age Division Place 5
Global Division Place 31.7%

Soooooo, what does all that mean?
- I didn't place last overall (79 contestants, I passed 4 people including 2 teenage girls)
- I didn't place last for the men (38 male contestants, I passed an older gentleman that really tried hard)
- I did place last in my division (5 males, 35-39 age division, I was twice the time of another 35yr old)
- I placed in the 31.7% of other 35-39 males that completed a 5k race in the same timeframe around the globe (anything over 60%, or a time of 22 minutes would place me in the normal class for my age group)

ANDDDDDDDDD, according to the computer chip I was 6 minutes and 12 seconds FASTER than my first 5k race time. This is a HUGE deal to me, my hard work is starting to pay off. I am beginning to see results both on the scale and with my endurance. Wished I had some of my friends there to celebrate with, today was definitely a day to celebrate...

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Life in general...

2009-04-14T11:06:00.002-04:00

I recall a quote that I read once from a soldier that returned from duty in Iraq, "Every day above ground is a good day..."

How often do we wake in the morning and set ourselves up for failure? Wake up late, hurry and get dressed, complain about traffic, get to work on time (barely), sit and stew for 8 hours, go home and talk about how sh*tty a day it was.

The old computer axiom is still valid today - "garbage in/garbage out". It's what we set our minds on that determines our day.

So tell me, what are you setting your mind on today? Another day of failure? Another day of regret?

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Lose, Fatboy, Lose Update - March 2009

2009-04-03T15:09:00.001-04:00

Got up in a bad mood this morning. Bren had gotten up with Logan @ 1am and here it was 4am and he was up again. After trying to calm him down in our bed I decided to just take him with me into the living room so that Bren could get some more sleep before getting up for work. I really wanted to run this morning but with Logan being as clingy as he was, I would have to skip running today.

Logan was still fussy and when he finally fell asleep I tried to put him in his bed, but he awoke the minute I laid him down and started wailing all over again. Had to skip exercise because by the time he was in a deep enough sleep, it was time to get ready for work. I grumbled and groaned as I got on the scale and saw the 314lb number, blaming Logan for not allowing me to exercise or run that morning to provide a more accurate reading (I always weigh in after my morning exercise and before I get dressed). But that was the wrong attitude, he's teething and can't help waking up in pain and needing comfort. So I missed running this morning - it was rainy & cold, I can make up for it tomorrow. The exercise can be done tonight when I get home from work, will be good to shake off the sluggishness I feel after sitting in an office chair for 8 hours a day.

I'll weigh in soon to get a more accurate reading, no biggie.

But it's always been more than numbers on a scale to me. Sometimes I think that shows like "The Biggest Loser" are counter-productive by instilling the impression that losing only 2 or 3 pounds a week is not a good thing. The safest weight loss has always been 1-2lbs a week, and that is for long-term weightloss (keeping it off).

Looking to my right I see the application for the next 5k race coming up. I was on the fence on whether or not to compete, but the more I think about it the more I have the desire to do it. On March 16 I competed in my first 5k race in over a year. 47:47 was my time, a time that I am damn proud of. Proud because of 2 things - I completed the race and I never stopped running. Others may have beaten my time even with stopping to fast-walk, but I never quit. It's the same with my weightloss journey - I WILL NEVER QUIT. A big thanks to those that supported me at the finish line - Bren, Javan, Logan, Nick, & Gary (sorry you had the time mixed up, I know you were there in spirit!). I'll post event details for the next race, hopefully I can have an even bigger crowd this time around!

I'm only one week away from completing my first intervals series from Podrunner.com, thanks to the program I am able to run for 30min non-stop which is a HUGE accomplishment for me. I've had to forgo working out at the aquatic center because of the limitations of their treadmills, which now with the better weather ahead I am not lamenting one bit about doing the workouts on the road.

Sitting here listening to "Brian Wilson" by Barenaked Ladies and thinking about the line in the song, "Lyin' in bed, just like Brian Wilson did..." I don't know the whole story behind the line but am familiar that the former Beach Boy spent an entire year in bed battling mental illness and depression. He gained a lot of weight during that time as if he just gave up on life and found comfort in the most basest of needs. Truth be told, I've thought about giving up. Having trouble staying on task, not seeing the scale needle move in the direction I want it to go, seeing others succeeding at their endeavors - the excuses seem to keep piling up.

But the reasons outweigh the excuses. I have people looking up to me, I have a wife and 2 sons that look up to me, I have an innate desire to inspire, encourage, & help people. I have mission to fulfill. I am realizing that more and more as I write blogs, as I produce podcasts & videos, as I look at those around me and see the need.

Take care, my friends and supporters. Think of me in the coming weeks as I take a hard look at my exercise routine to increase my strength and endurance.

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

PS - Anyone have a lead on used bikes (less than $50)? Unfortunately my Walmart cruiser will need to be retired (costs more to fix than it's worth)...

Getting ahead...

2009-03-27T09:46:00.002-04:00

I've been afraid of getting ahead. Sabotaging my successes to avoid moving to a different level, thinking I was undeserving of such. I listened to a podcast the other day that drove that point home for me.

Dan Miller on a recent podcast mentioned having a rather famous sports "bad boy" moving into his neighborhood. It wasn't until this person moved in that Dan had ever seen police out in his neck of the woods. He mentioned many other highly-paid sports figures that tended to get into trouble and end up in jail or in court. He said they were subconsciously sabotaging their success because they themselves didn't believe they were worth what they have been paid. By getting into trouble they are sending a message to their coaches and team owners of "Hey, I know I'm not worth it and you know I'm not worth it..."

For years I've lived with a low self-esteem and negative self-worth. Once I began to lose weight and started to get noticed by the media and others is when things started breaking down for me. I am ill-equipped to handle success because I somehow feel undeserving of it. Years of broken dreams, broken hearts, and ridicule had resigned me to a life of "just getting to tomorrow".

I am thankful that I realize the problem and am beginning to put together a plan to eradicate those feelings and replace them with a "can-do" attitude.

Feeling like you're not worth it? Guess what? No matter what others say, situations you're in, you ARE worth it! Today is your day!

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Being Bold...

2009-01-14T09:14:00.002-05:00

"Put a grain of boldness into everything you do." - Baltasar Gracian

There comes a time when we need to be bold in our lives. A time when we need to say to ourselves that enough is enough and its time to take a stand. Will 2009 be the time when you finally stand up and be bold?

"Freedom lies in being bold." - Robert Frost

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Getting Lost...

2008-12-19T08:43:00.002-05:00

"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." - Henry David Thoreau

Ever get lost while driving? Unfamiliar roads, towns, bypasses. Sometimes I like to get lost, because then you tend to see things that you may have not seen before or maybe experience something that you may never get to experience.

When my wife and I were dating, we would go on day trips, just pick a direction and go. We visited wineries, old country stores, even checked out a little drive-in diner that was way-y-y-y-y-y out there. Discovering, learning, growing.

Sometimes you need to just get lost...

"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." - Nelson Mandela

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Goals...

2008-12-10T14:58:00.002-05:00

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal." - Henry Ford

So 2008 is coming to a close. Time to start looking at goals for 2009. Will it be a better year? What to you want to accomplish this next year that will bring you to a new level?

Some of my personal goals:

- run 5mi 3 times a week
- learn the guitar
- learn spanish
- speak to at least 3 groups a quarter
- lose these last 80lbs

Write down your goals, commit them to paper. Goals not written down are just wishes...

"If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else." - Lawrence J. Peter

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Belief...

2008-12-05T10:04:00.002-05:00

"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson

I believed I could do it. I knew deep down I could. It's been 9 months. But that little voice, that wee little voice kept hounding me, "You can't do it. You can't. It's been too long. You're a fat tub and always will be..."

I focused. I focused hard. My legs ached. My body wanted to quit. But I focused. That blinking red light. That blinking red light coming closer, closer. Relief, exhaustion, fatigue, elation. I made it. I did it. I knew I could do it. I ran a mile without stopping...

"This is how humans are: we question all our beliefs, except for the ones we really believe, and those we never think to question." - Orson Scott Card

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Resistance...

2008-11-21T11:02:00.002-05:00

"If you want to make an easy job seem mighty hard, just keep putting off doing it." - Olin Miller

It's been snowing here. I like it when it snows because it makes my noon walks more productive. You see, the snow provides resistance when I walk. The more resistance, the more my legs and lower torso have to work, the stronger they get.

Some resistance is good, but not all. Resisting change is one thing that we all tend to battle with from time to time. But if we defeat that resistance and breakthrough - it's there that our beings become stronger.

Don't be closed-minded and resistant to change. Look at the positives and not just the negatives to every change...

"If it weren't for the last minute, I wouldn't get anything done." - Author Unknown

Freedom...

2008-11-13T09:33:00.002-05:00

"Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide." - Napoleon Bonaparte

We have the freedom to chose in EVERY situation whether or not we think we have the freedom to do so. Some may say, "Well, if I am robbed at gunpoint I have no freedom to chose." This is true but you can make the choice of giving up your stuff willingly and without crying or you can choose to try and be the hero and possibly get shot.

We make choices everyday, some good and some bad. We need to remember that in EVERY situation we have a choice. If there is a situation where there is no obvious choice we need to dig a little deeper as the choices are not always crystal clear.

Choose today to do the best you can, be the best you can in ALL situations...

"Freedom is that instant between when someone tells you to do something and when you decide how to respond." - Jeffrey Borenstein

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

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Attitude...

2008-11-06T14:11:00.002-05:00

"If you don't get everything you want, think of the things you don't get that you don't want." - Oscar Wilde

Attitude does affect all aspects of your life. Discouragement, apathy, uselessness - all are culprits that can get us off track. When these attitudes creep into your life, you need to reach deep down inside and find the strength to change your outlook. Think of accomplishments, think of your future.

You have control over your actions AND your attitudes...

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes." - William James

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Differences...

2008-10-28T16:37:00.002-04:00

"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." - Victor Frankl

We're all different, that's what makes each one of us unique and interesting. I look around at all the different ways to lose weight. Many it seems are geared towards a "cookie cutter" mentality - meaning that one particular path will work for everyone. I find this to be rather untrue. For example, I tried Weight Watchers back in the day and found that the lack of accountability for myself (I was the only guy in a group of middle-age to elderly women) was one of the major setbacks for this path for me. Others may not be able to do without starches or meats for the rest of their lives.

My particular plan draws on several different methods that I had researched. I fit together my weight loss plan through modifying these methods to fit my personality/ability/mentality.

What fits you? Frustrated with your plan? Do research and modify the plan to fit you.

"Change always comes bearing gifts." - Price Pritchett

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Time

2008-10-21T16:00:00.002-04:00

"Time is what we want most, but... what we use worst." - Willaim Penn

Time is everything. We are given 168 hours each week, no more, no less. It's up to us to figure out how to wisely use that time. We can waste it in front of the television, or we can use it to better our lives.

Successful people have found ways to use their time wisely. How are you spending your time?

"Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them." - Dion Boucicault

MattyV

http://www.iweighedmorethanjared.com/

Small steps

2008-10-14T10:58:00.000-04:00

"Nobody can do everything, but everyone can do something." - Author Unknown

After a lot of procrastination and false-starts, I finally think I am getting back on track with my weight loss regimine. At first I felt overwhelmed, I mean last year at this time I was jogging 5 times a week, biking 5 times a week, and doing 45min/day of exercise on top of walking and other things.

I've heard an old African proverb again and again and it's true - "How do you eat an elephant?" "One bite at a time."

I may not be back to where I was a year ago, but I am doing something. Eventually I will get back on par to where I was and then some.

Don't procrastinate any longer. So you can't jog or even walk without problems. Do chair exercises, bicep curls with soup cans.

You can do something...

"Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do." - John Wooden

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Adversity...

2008-10-07T09:33:00.002-04:00

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional." - M. Kathleen Casey

With the economy heading towards a depression not seen since the later 1920's, it's easy to panic and react adversely and irrationally.

When we have adversity in our lives, whether it be finances, work, relationships, whatever it is that causes a little panic inside of us - we make poor choices.

Adversity will come, no one is immune. I'm sure the monks that live high in the Himalayas have their share of adversity. We need to remember to be pro-active when it comes to adversity rather than reactive.

"You can't run away from trouble. There ain't no place that far." - Uncle Remus

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Effort...

2008-09-30T14:48:00.002-04:00

"All the so-called "secrets of success" will not work unless you do." - Author Unknown

I spoke at my Toastmasters club today. I shared a speech that was previously given by General Douglas MacArthur back in 1962. In that speech he talks about not substituting words for actions nor choosing the path of comfort. That stirs something in me. To many times I spend in "lip-service" or "do as I say, not as I do" or don't put forth the effort to make changes.

Success takes effort. Effort takes determination. Determination takes responsibility. Responsibility begins with you (or me).

"Put your heart, mind, intellect and soul even to your smallest acts. This is the secret of success." - Swami Sivananda

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Clutter

2008-09-23T14:39:00.002-04:00

"You can never get enough of what you don't need to make you happy." - Eric Hoffer

Had a garage sale this past weekend, cleared out some junk that we felt we needed at the time but ended up in the basement/garage/closet. Made a little cash, pennies on the dollar, but still cash and actually restrained ourselves from visiting other sales and buying more crap to replace the crap we just got rid of.

Do you have clutter? I don't mean just physical clutter, but mental clutter. How do you spend your week? Do you look at the end of the week and wonder where your time went? I suggest sitting down and mapping out your week. You get 168 hours, no more, no less. Successes have used their time wisely, finding ways to increase their success in all areas of life.

How's your time map looking? Spending time on 'clutter'? Change it!

"He who buys what he does not need steals from himself." ~Author Unknown

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

The Future...

2008-09-16T08:17:00.002-04:00

"The course of life is unpredictable... no one can write his autobiography in advance." - Abraham Joshua Heschel

I recall a scene from the movie "Terminator 2: Judgement Day" where John Connor is having a conversation with his terminator protector about something his mother carved onto a picnic table - "The future's not set. There's no fate but what we make for ourselves..."

We often resign ourselves to our own self-imposed prisons by telling ourselves that it's our fate - we are where we are and that's all. Our minds have been conditioned over the years to a thinking pattern that keeps us from our true potential.

The statement above is true, the future isn't set. We have the ability to change our lives, our careers, our health (to some extent), we have the ability to act and not react to what comes our way.

Choose your own fate, follow your dream...

"The past can't see you, but the future is listening." - Destin Figuier

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Faith...

2008-09-09T16:01:00.001-04:00

"To me faith means not worrying." - John Dewey

Take it the way you wish, but miracles & blessings happen all the time. Some go unnoticed, while others end up being newsworthy. When you look for them, you will find them. Maybe it's that parking spot in a busy parking lot that opens up right in front of the store you need to visit. Maybe it's finding the exact change needed to purchase an item or finding a $20 bill when you thought you only had a $5 bill.

I had a noticeable blessing today. I have been belly-aching about this for quite a long time. I am a member of a local Toastmasters club, a group of people training and practicing to become better public speakers. I fell into this group when I lost weight and wanted to tell my story. It has helped me hone my public speaking skills and speaking style. I've met a lot of people and there is a core group of people that are there each week to support each other.

I've advanced in the group and I believe currently I am the highest ranking person with the designations of Advanced Communicator Silver and Advanced Leader Bronze. I am also currently serving to the best of my ability as president of the club.

Dues for the next semester are coming up on October1st and with Bren without a job and our emergency fund getting dangerously low - I was going to have to step away from the group. It was a hard choice to make, but we didn't/don't have the $40 to continue the membership. I let the officers know last week of our situation and that it may be time for me to step down until our finances got back to normal.

After the pastor's sermon on Sunday, I began to think about my decision to quit the club. I was going to let the group know today (Tuesday) at the meeting that I would be unable to continue in the club after October 1st. Instead I decided to let God lead, if He wanted me to continue my training as a public speaker, He would provide the money to do so. I was leaving it up to Him and trusting his direction.

I talked to the treasurer after the meeting and asked about possibly making payments or working out some sort of arrangement so that I could continue leading the club. He told me that the other officers had discussed the situation and felt led to pay my dues for the next semester out of the club treasury.

So, there was my answer. I guess I need to continue leading and training. I would have been a little bummed if it didn't work out, but if it did happen that I couldn't continue - I know deep down that there is somewhere else that I needed to be at that point in my life.
Keep the faith and let God lead. You never know where you'll go, but where you end up is where He wants you to be...

"Faith makes things possible, not easy." - Author Unknown

MattyV
http://iweighedmorethanjared.com/dead.aspx

Shortcomings...

2008-09-02T10:14:00.001-04:00

"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again. Because there is no effort without error and shortcomings, he who knows the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the high achievement of triumph and who at worst, if he fails while daring greatly, knows his place shall never be with those timid and cold souls who know neither victory nor defeat". - Theodore Roosevelt

Feeling like a failure today? At least you tried. Think of those that don't try, stay in the shadows of the "comfortable and familiar" and get up to try again!

I've failed time and time again. I've failed as a father, a husband, a friend, a co-worker, a leader. But I continue on knowing that my destiny is much greater than my weaknesses suggest.

"Be true. STAND!" - Mother Abigail, "The Stand"

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Communication

2008-08-27T07:58:00.002-04:00

"People love chopping wood. In this activity one immediately sees results." - Albert Einstein

I was thinking communication recently. My youngest son turns 3 months today and we are beginning to understand his way of communicating with us. We have determined different cries mean different things. One cry means "I'm bored!" while another cry means "I'm in need of changing!". It took a little bit to understand what he wanted through this rudimentary form of communication but now that we understant him - we see instant results once we alay whatever the need is.

Communicating with yourself is important. Learning what makes you hungry, what hunger is for you, even what triggers you have for overeating or non-exercising are all important things to know in order to lose weight.

I kind of think we've been lulled into some sort of Pavlovian sense of having to eat meals at certain times of the day - even when we might not be hungry. Try this some time - fast for an entire day, drinking just water for a 24 hour period. Whenever you get a hunger pang - drink some water and wait to see if it goes away. If after 15 minutes or so it doesn't, take another glass of water. You will soon get to understand what a "false hunger" and "real hunger" pang feels like so you can better understand your body's need.

You may not need to eat until 9am or 10am or can go until 2pm to eat lunch. Once you understand your body, you will begin to see better results because you will be eating only when truly hungry and not when you're "supposed to"...

"The sculptor produces the beautiful statue by chipping away such parts of the marble block as are not needed - it is a process of elimination." - Elbert Hubbard

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Mistakes...

2008-08-19T14:51:00.000-04:00

Won a speech contest today. Based the speech on the topic of making mistakes. I've made plenty and expect to make many more over my lifetime. I learned a few things about mistakes:

1 - Everybody makes them (don't kid yourself)

2 - You need to learn from them (see examples below)

3 - Don't dwell on them (probably THE most important thing to remember)

The Apple LISA was a commercial flop. What did Apple learn? Enter the Apple Macintosh & Apple's OS X software (both have roots in the LISA computer)

The Ford Edsel was also a commercial flop. What did Ford learn? Enter 2 of the most popular Ford lines, the Mustang & the Taurus

Wilson Greatbatch developed the implantable pacemaker (including it's corrosion-resistant battery) years after he put in the wrong part into an external heart monitor.

I love speaking. I can't explain it. It was envigorating being up there and sharing the speech I had prepared. I need to develop this talent...

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Courage

2008-08-12T09:18:00.002-04:00

"Every man has his own courage, and is betrayed because he seeks in himself the courage of other persons." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

This past weekend I was watching some episodes of a television show and happened upon a little nugget that was hidden in amongst one of them.

In an exchange with two characters, one was telling the other that they had more courage than the other. They had the courage to be themselves. They had the courage getting out of bed knowing that they had to be themselves.

Of course the entire exchange was meant to be comedic in its intent, but there is a lot of truth in that exchange. Most of us are scared of being who we truly are. Afraid of what others think of us, conforming to what we think they find "acceptible".

Do you have the courage to be who you are? Or are you conforming to what the "world" wants?

"Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared." - Edward Vernon Rickenbacker

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Fear...

2008-08-05T10:56:00.002-04:00

"Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them." - Brendan Francis

Fear can motivate. Fear can immobilize. We need to have a healthy respect for fear ONLY when it deserves such. I have been and still am afraid of many things - failure, abandonment, etc. but these fears do not deserve the respect that I give them. We need to grow past our fears in order to move towards where we want to be. One person was quoted that in order to succeed we need to double our failure rate. Those are interesting and yet true words. How can we achieve success if we do not fail?

Figure out what you are afraid of and see which ones deserve the respect and which ones are "paper-thin" that can be broken through to access the next level in your life.

"There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them." - Andre Gide

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Assistance...

2008-07-29T08:29:00.002-04:00

"It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do little - do what you can." - Sydney Smith

I asked my oldest son if he would like to go to Home Depot with me to pick up some weedkiller. His response melted my heart and made me laugh at the same time, "I would be glad to assist you at the store..."

It was sweet, but also very poigniant at the same time. I know he couldn't do much but be company on the trip but at least he was willing to do that little part. Look around you today, how can you be of help to someone? Giving up your seat on the bus or subway. Help someone load their groceries into their vehicle. A tiny act of kindness can not only help others but also makes you feel good and uplifts your spirits. What kind of assistance can you give today??

"Nobody can do everything, but everyone can do something." - Author Unknown

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Words

2008-07-22T15:37:00.002-04:00

"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver." - Proverbs

I whispered into my new son's ear last night. I try to do this every night. What do I whisper? Words of encouragement, words of strength, positive words. I grew up on negative words. Words like, "stupid", or "idiot", or "worthless". Those words were planted deep into my mind and the fruit from those words was bitter and hurtful.

I told my son that he was going to grow up strong and handsome and smart. I told him that both he and his brother were going to do far greater things than myself. I tell my older son that he can do anything he puts his mind to. I am planting positive seeds in the hopes of seeing better things come to fruition in both my children's lives.

What words are you planting in your daily life? Words of hope or words of despair?

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Inner Strength

2008-07-15T08:40:00.001-04:00

"When the world says, "Give up,"Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."" - Author Unknown

Sitting here looking at a photo that someone had taken last October of me running my first 8k race. That was a grueling time for me, there I was 34 years old and 280lbs running up and down hills around the city of Zeeland. Many racers were "professionals" looking for a quick win and accolades from the crowd. Others were teens that ran track or cross-country. There were even moms, looking for a time to chat and get a t-shirt (one pair of moms had matching shirts that said "Incredi-Moms" a play on the Disney/Pixar movie "The Incredibles").

Looking back on that time, I never quit. I was tired and suffering from "side-stitch" (dehydration causing pain in your sides) but I never quit. I knew if I had quit, I would not start again and I would be done. Teens that passed me, soon I passed as they had stopped and began to walk. They may have caught up and passed me - but I didn't stop to walk, they did.I am gathering strength from remembering that time. I didn't quit then, and I sure as hell am not going to quit now.

"The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running." - Author Unknown

MattyV
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

An Update & Today's Thought

2008-07-08T15:09:00.002-04:00

Just an update, took some time off after the birth of my second son. Gave me some time to think about the weekly blogging and how I want to press forward. I've decided that I am changing the weekly blogs to Tuesdays because Fridays are already hectic with trying to post an audio Podcast and a webshow on YouTube. I think I will also break that up by posting the audio Podcasts on Wednesdays and leave the YouTube show to Fridays. Trying to do too much packed into one day has worn me out a bit. So, stay tuned each Tuesday for a new thought for the day...

"An idea not coupled with action will never get any bigger than the brain cell it occupied. " - Arnold Glasow

There is another old saying that goes, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions..." which is true for the most part. We can talk all we want about what we plan to do with our lives, but it's when we actually sit down and put things to action that causes change to happen.

What is in your craw, deep down that you wished you could change? Write it down and then execute it.

"Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned." - Peter Marshall

Matty V
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Freedom...

2008-05-16T11:57:00.002-04:00

"It is easy to take liberty for granted, when you have never had it taken from you." - Dick Cheney

Freedom isn't free. It's not a right that everyone is entitled to. It's something that was fought for, died for, and unfortunately we as a country have taken much of it for granted. We have the freedom of choice of what to eat at any time of the day or night. From the fridge to the corner store, to even fast food restaurants open at all hours of the day or night. Freedom of choice, but it's up to us to make the right choices as far as our eating habits.

The more processed and preserved food we choose over making something from scratch, the more we perpetuate the cycle of obesity in our country and what we pass down to our children.

I am going to try harder to make better choices in what I eat and what I feed my family. Join with me to break this cycle in America!

"In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved." - Franklin D. Roosevelt

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Setbacks...

2008-05-09T16:41:00.003-04:00

"Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are." - Arthur Golden

I've had some setbacks the past few weeks. Boy, can really bring you down, down to the ground and have you begging for mercy. But sometimes that's when break-throughs occur, some sort of enlightenment happens. Thomas Edison failed at creating a lightbulb over 10,000 times. But each time he was able to get back up and try again.

Reminds me of the movie, "Real Genius" starring Val Kilmer. His character's laser project failed spectacularly and thought he was at his absolute lowest. Then he had a break-through moment where everything seemed to click. He went back and solved the problems and succeeded (although to dire consequences - which were later rectified).

Setbacks are times to step back and maybe take new look at an old problem...

"You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you." - Walt Disney

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Boredom...

2008-05-02T16:10:00.002-04:00

"Grasp your opportunities, no matter how poor your health; nothing is worse for your health than boredom." - Mignon McLaughlin

I struggle with boredom and have been falling into old habits of eating when I am not hungry and just bored. There are plenty of things I could be doing, but rather don't have the gumption or energy to do them.

That's when I (and possibly yourself) need to take a stand and just find something to do. Something that engages our brains and our bodies, something that takes our pre-programmed synapses of eating mindlessly and transfers that energy to something more productive.

Join with me, won't you? Let's try hard to re-program our brains to better ourselves when we are bored...

"Boredom is an emptiness filled with insistence." - Leo Stein

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Gratitude...

2008-04-25T16:21:00.002-04:00

"If a fellow isn't thankful for what he's got, he isn't likely to be thankful for what he's going to get." - Frank A. Clark

I was reading in the book, "A 2nd Helping of Chicken Soup for the Soul" and in it was a section on obstacles. One of the stories caught my attention and made me think. The gist of the story was that of a man walking down the street and noticing a friend with a forlorn look on his face. The man greeted his friend and ask how things were and instead of a quick dialogue it ended up to be a long diatribe of problems.

The friend said that he would donate $5k to the man's favorite charity if he knew of a place that he could go without problems. The man took his friend up on the offer and walked him down to the local cemetary. The dead, you see, have no problems.

Whatever problems or adversities you are facing today, be thankful for them. I know that sounds weird, but really - if you had no problems, then you wouldn't be growing. Problems prepare and stretch us...

"We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude." - Cynthia Ozick

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

The Past...

2008-04-18T10:31:00.001-04:00

"The one charm of the past is that it is the past." - Oscar Wilde

I love that quote. It's true, the past is the past. Although nothing can change it, we can learn from it and start from now to change the future.

I still get haunted by the past from time to time but when that happens I try to remember that whatever happened then cannot be changed. I can only deal with the here and now. Each day is a new day to learn from the past and press forward with that knowledge.

"What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now." - Author Unknown

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Strength...

2008-04-11T13:08:00.001-04:00

"The shortest answer is doing." - Lord Herbert

Where do you derive your strength? Is it in the accolade of others? In your abilities? In your desires? When the chips are down, the race is only half over, defeat is on the horizon - where do you find the strength to press on?

The accolades of others wane. Your abilities can be robbed of you in an instant. Your desires can often be false to what you really want. Is your strength in your sense of self-worth?

No one can rob you of your self-worth unless you give them the opportunity.

"All know the way; few actually walk it." - Bodhidharma

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Boldness...

2008-04-04T15:05:00.002-04:00

"Put a grain of boldness into everything you do." - Baltasar Gracian

Ever dare to be bold? Dare to try something new even though you might fail? On this weight loss journey I have been bold plenty of times and I am always looking for more things to try. Some things stuck with me like running races while others weren't cohesive to my personality or interests.

You need to break out of your mold, step out of your comfort zone and dare to try things. I started with donating blood. Something simple. And it grew from there, 5k races, charity walks, chili cook-offs, speaking in public.

Try something different. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. How will you know if you don't try?

"Freedom lies in being bold." - Robert Frost

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Passion...

2008-03-28T10:13:00.002-04:00

"Chase down your passion like it's the last bus of the night." - Glade Byron Addams

I've found that when it comes to doing something that matters, you need passion. You have to believe in what you are accomplishing. I think that's why so many people fail at losing weight, they don't have that passion that helps them to carry on through the stumbling blocks that are inevitable.

I recall a story that has been shared by both Dave Ramsey & Dan Miller about a study that was done in the 1960's. A group of men were paid a good wage to dig a ditch then asked to fill the ditch back in. This was all they were told to do. The next day, 40% of the workers didn't show up. The wage was doubled and they were told to dig a ditch and fill it back in. The next day, another 40% didn't show up. This comes to the conclusion that you have to have passion in what you are doing, otherwise your efforts are futile and in vain.

Come with me, join with me. Let's encourage one another and stoke the fire of passion in eachother's soul. You can succeed, I can succeed. We will overcome and become the victors we know we are!

"Follow your passion, and success will follow you." - Arthur Buddhold

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Appearance...

2008-03-07T10:03:00.002-05:00

"Things do not pass for what they are, but for what they seem. Most things are judged by their jackets." - Baltasar Gracian

Too many times do we judge books by their covers. I find myself guilty of this time and time again. Many times I find that I have grossly mis-judged someone, thinking one thing and finding out something totally different.

Out on my walks I like to people-watch. It has become one of my favorite pastimes. Once I even sat and wrote down descriptions of people that I saw, hoping that the descriptions would one day make it into a fiction novel I will write.

I've seen many, many overweight people in my journies. And every time I catch myself with some sort of "air" about them - some deep-seated disgust. I don't know them. I don't know their life. They could have health issues that caused the weight gain. They could have some problems at home that they thought food could solve. But I stand there, thinking like some others may think - "laziness, slovenly laziness".

That's one thing I still struggle with, self-loathing. I hate being overweight and yet this hate is not motivation to keep going. I need to find focus on something else. Self-loathing behavior is not healthy or a self-esteem builder.

I will try harder...

"Men in general judge more from appearances than from reality. All men have eyes, but few have the gift of penetration." - Niccolo Machiavelli

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Impact Resistance...

2008-02-29T14:45:00.002-05:00

"It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not." - Author Unknown

This week I found a pair of sunglasses on the side of the road. They looked like they were alright so I picked them up. The arms of the sunglasses fell apart in my hands, someone had run them over with their car. All that was left intact was the lenses themselves. Neither was scratched, only one lens had a couple of chips around the rim.

Impact resistance. Something I wished I had. It's easy to get off-track when the perils and problems of life rear their ugly heads. I felt that way this month when I got in the car accident and was unable to exercise for a few weeks. The impact of that accident impacted more than my spine, it impacted who I was and the goal I was striving for.

I was angry and depressed, I used food as a stress-reliever. It had taken 30 years of training to develop that stress-coping skill, it won't unravel overnight. But I will continue to strive for impact resistance, reminding myself of that pair of sunglasses...

"Whether you think you can or think you can't - you are right." - Henry Ford

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Blame...

2008-02-22T13:00:00.002-05:00

"Most people are more comfortable with old problems than with new solutions." - Author Unknown

A few weeks ago I was in a car accident. A head-on collision with another vehicle that totalled my van. It also totalled my back & neck in terms of muscle/nerve strain ("whiplash"), which in turn totalled my exercise program.

I've been reluctant to get back on the exercise journey, partially because I had fallen into old habits and had been using the car accident as an excuse. I checked the scale and it said I had gained 8lbs over the past few weeks. This is inaccurate, I couldn't have conceivably done so unless I stayed in bed all the time and ate 10,000 calories a day. I chalk most of the gain to salt, but I do believe that I had gained back at least 3lbs due to the lack of exercise.

Last night I finally looked in the mirror and said, "Dude, you need to get back on track. Stop using the car accident as a crutch or excuse. You need to do this not only for yourself, but for your supporters as well." So I did, although I am sore - it felt good to get back out on the road again. Today was my first full exercise/walking day, jogged 3.5mi walked 3.5mi and exercised for 30min.

It's easy to place the blame on something. I think that is the reason we are such a "sue-happy" society. We refuse to put the blame where it belongs - squarely on our shoulders.

Don't play the blame game. Go out and do something about it!

"Stubborness does have its helpful features. You always know what you are going to be thinking tomorrow." - Glen Beaman

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Remembering...

2008-02-15T15:56:00.002-05:00

"Memory... is the diary that we all carry about with us." - Oscar Wilde

On the way to work I passed a marker on at street corner that marks the spot where someone had died. You see them all over the country now, little roadside altars to remind people of tragedies. Even in the bible people had created altars from rocks to mark special places, piles of rocks & whatnot so that others that passed by it would see it and remember the reason for it being there.

I kept a pair of my old jeans and an old shirt. I keep them as reminders of what once was and (God-willing) will not happen again. I keep them to refresh my memory, to remember when I used to be over 500lbs. Sometimes I put the stuff on and it really hits me on how big I really was.

We all need reminders in our lives, reminders of where we have been and also reminders of where we are headed. My mom and also a friend of mine had mentioned the recent Oprah episode with the author of the book "The Secret". I need to check on the concepts talked about the book about a "dream board" or something where you put together all the things you want in/from your life. Not a bad idea, kind of like a road map of where you want to go in your life...

"The existence of forgetting has never been proved: We only know that some things don't come to mind when we want them." - Friedrich Nietzsche

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Experience...

2008-02-08T15:50:00.000-05:00

"Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely." - Auguste Rodin

Got into a car accident earlier this week. I'm a little sore yet and am not ready to resume exercise yet, but I am going to start slow next week and build myself back up again. Whether a car accident, job loss, family problem, or whatever - we can use these events to gain experience.

I am gaining experience through this accident as far as how insurance claims work. What forms need to be filed, who needs to be contacted for what, lots of little behind-the-scenes details that I was not privy to before. Sure it's a downer to be in an accident or have some other bad event happen. But it's our attitudes that will either make or break us. We can wallow and refuse to learn from it, or take a deep breath and look at the event with an outsider's eye and try to gain some nugget of wisdom from it...

"Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't. " - Pete Seeger

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Raw Materials

2008-02-01T09:38:00.001-05:00

"Blessed are you, Lord, God of all creation. Through your goodness we have this bread to offer, which earth has given and human hands have made. It will become for us the bread of life." - Jewish prayer

Each one of us has been blessed with the "raw materials" needed to change our lives. It's up to us to decide what to build with those materials. We can use what we have an dig a dank dungeon, devoid of light or happiness - or we can build a castle tower that stretches into the sky.

I read over that prayer and also think about an email someone sent to me that touches on the subject of having the tools to change our lives. We need to step back and lay out a plan, just as a builder draws up blueprints before he begins building. Only when we can see the finished product can we know what "raw materials" are needed to complete the project.

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Vices...

2008-01-25T08:10:00.000-05:00

"How like herrings and onions our vices are in the morning after we have committed them."
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Have your bad habits gotten the best of you? Have you given up on your lifestyle change (or New Year's resolution) because it became too difficult? Experts say that it takes 21 days to break a bad habit or form a good habit. I keep trying to pound this one truth home - falling off the wagon is not failure - failure is not even trying.

I have fallen time and time again, gone over in calories - refused to exercise or jog, and I have beaten myself up over it. Then I get right back onto the plan and start over again. Each day is a new day to start over. Why beat yourself up over past mistakes? Start with a clean slate and positive state of mind!

"It is good to be without vices, but it is not good to be without temptations." - Walter Bagehot

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Hope

2008-01-18T14:03:00.000-05:00

"You've gotta have hope. Without hope life is meaningless. Without hope life is meaning less and less." - Author Unknown

Hope. It all comes down to hope. Hope is one of the things that drives us. Drives our passions, drives our motivation, drives our being. If we have no hope, depression & gloominess, despair & lonliness invades our very soul.

Sure things come into our lives that cause pain and depression - but we should all have that hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, a rope or ladder reaching down into the depths of our depression waiting to lift us out.

How is your hope today? Are you hoping for a better future? Set your eyes on the prize and Go For It!

"Hope is grief's best music." - Author Unknown

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Nowhere...

2008-01-11T12:15:00.000-05:00

"Gotta get away from the day-to-day, everybody knows this is nowhere..." - Neil Young

So, how's the new lifestyle change coming for 2008? First full week is behind us with another 51 weeks ahead. Are you going to be in that 20% that sticks with it, or the 80% that gives up by January 31st? Dan Miller often talks about the definition of insanity being doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results. Are you in a rut? Make a change, any change, however small, to get yourself out of that day-to-day grind.

So, come on. Are you gonna make this year the best ever? Or are you going to flounder in your rut, wishing and hoping?

"It's so hard when I have to, and so easy when I want to." - Annie Gottlier

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Self-Discovery...

2008-01-04T09:00:00.000-05:00

"Every one of us has in him a continent of undiscovered character. Blessed is he who acts the Columbus to his own soul." - Author Unknown

http://www.madison.com/wsj/topstories/index.php?ntid=263791

A neat story of self-discovery. A pastor in Ohio challenged his congregation with the parable of the talents from the book of Matthew. Adults were given $50 each, children were given $10 each and had 7 weeks to double the money in some way.

Elderly people rediscovered old talents like woodworking & knitting, little kids used their creativity of origami, others were inventive by offering motorcycle & plane rides, one lady may end up parlaying her creative talent into a business (she decorated flip-flops & sold them).
Not only is this a story revolving around a biblical story with a purpose - it can be grasped by the non-religious as well. Discovering what you can offer the world through your talents, that each person has something unique about them.

I may not be the most talented singer or painter, but I like to write and produce audio/visual material. Go on your own road to self-discovery. Find out what you have to offer the world. You may be surprised at what you find!

"Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it." - Buddha

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

New Beginnings...

2007-12-28T11:33:00.000-05:00

"A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other." - Author Unknown

So, the new year is almost upon us. New Year's resolutions are on everyone's lips, the newspapers and news programs are talking about how to accomplish those resolutions, radio DJs are cracking jokes about breaking them before the new year has started...

80-85% of Americans that make resolutions for the new year fall out of keeping them within the first 30 days. I think it may have something to do with the non-focus of the resolutions and the half-hearted promise that is made in keeping them.

Do something different this year, try something new. Make a "Lifestyle Change" resolution instead. Have a goal, make a plan to reach that goal. Track your progress on the way to that goal. Be one of the 20% that succeeds in the new year...

"New Year's Day is every man's birthday." - Charles Lamb

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Childhood...

2007-12-24T11:57:00.000-05:00

"Childhood is the most beautiful of all life's seasons." - Author Unknown

Christmas eve is here. Can't wait for tomorrow morning, I am a little more excited than my son is for this time of year. Excited to see the looks on his and my wife's faces as they open presents. When I was younger, I anticipated anxiously to see what I had received from Santa - the joy of receiving was all my little heart could understand.

Now that I am older, I am understanding the other side of it - the giving side. I hope my gift to you over the past year has been encouragement, comfort, and maybe a little wisdom thrown in for good measure...

May you and yours have the merriest Christmas ever!

Happy Holidays from Matty, Brenda, Javan, & baby Vander Plow (no name yet)
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com

Progess...

2007-12-14T14:41:00.000-05:00

"He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away." - Raymond Hull

Sometimes we try to progress in ways that really cause us to regress. Like trying to fit into someone else's shoes or lifestyle, for example. We all run our own races and have our own lives. My problems and trials are different from your problems and trials. I have my own idea of what success is, and that may differ from what you perceive success as.

Wherever you are on your lifestyle journey, remember - the only person you are competing against is the person you used to be. If you can beat that person each and every day, that right there is progress.

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." - Judy Garland

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
"Dead Man Walking: A Weight Loss Journey" e-Book is now on sale!

Chances...

2007-12-07T15:42:00.000-05:00

"If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance." - Andrea Boydston

Ever wish for a second chance at something? Guess what? Every day you wake up, you get a second chance. A chance to start over, a chance to begin anew. Fail today? Feel like a complete failure because you stumbled into that same trap you always fall into? Again, if you wake up breathing, you get another chance to try again.

Too many times we focus on the downside of life, the times we failed, the times when we were passed over, when we didn't catch a lucky break that we deserved or needed.

Buck up little camper, tomorrow's a new day filled with promise!

"Breath is Spirit. The act of breathing is living." - Author Unknown

Matty
http://www.iweighedmorethanjared.com/
"Dead Man Walking: A Weight Loss Journey" e-Book is now on sale!

Hiding...

2007-11-30T15:00:00.000-05:00

"Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that's real power." - Clint Eastwood

Here's the deal:

The other night my son and I were in the van coming up to a red light, the vehicle next to us decided to run the light. Just so happened that a sheriff was on the opposite road and witnessed the whole ordeal. The light turned green and he made his turn, I was thinking that he was going to let it go. Next thing I see is bright flashing lights as he pulled the car over. Busted.

I relay that story to the fact that you always get found out, lies fall apart, falsities are brought to light. Sometimes people weave so many lies that they begin to believe them - I can look around at other overweight people and wonder that myself. Did these people just give up on life, believing the lie that they are trapped and doomed to be overweight the rest of their lives? Who gave them that Kool-Aid to drink?

I myself need to come clean, through secret snacking and intentional over-eating I have gained 25lbs over the past year. My pattern of nervous eating, frustration eating, stress eating has crept back into my life. I admit that, and that is the first step. It came to light for me when I had to go out to the used clothing stores to purchase some larger-in-the-waist pants (went from a 42 to a 44) but I didn't want to face it. The ordeal with the sheriff rang as an alarm bell in my head.

Self-respect and honesty are important to living a life of freedom, freedom from criticism and ridicule. Being forthright is more virtuous that anything else. So here I am.

Be honest with yourself, you won't regret it...

"Self-respect cannot be hunted. It cannot be purchased. It is never for sale. It cannot be fabricated out of public relations. It comes to us when we are alone, in quiet moments, in quiet places, when e suddenly realize that, knowing the good, we have done it; knowing the beautiful, we have served it; knowing the truth we have spoken it." - Whitney Griswold

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
(more honesty - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE buy my e-Book! It's on sale for $9.95!)

Limits...

2007-11-16T10:45:00.000-05:00

"Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do." - Dr. Benjamin Spock

Limits. We all know our limits, we know how far we can go in pretty much any situation. But do we really? Dan Miller (www.48days.com) mentioned in one of his books a story about a high jumper. A high jumper never knows how good he/she is until they trip the bar. By tripping the bar, they know their limit at that point. They know what they need to work on to get past that barrier.

Have you tested your limits? Gone back to that restaurant that you used to go overboard at? Tasted that food that you previously couldn't get enough of? Have you stretched yourself in your exercise routine to see what your body can do?

If you fall and overeat or overexert yourself, you know your limit in that area and what you need to work on. Don't be afraid to test your limits, that's the only way you'll be able to grow...

"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." - Winston Churchill

Matty V.
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
"Dead Man Walking: A Weight Loss Journey" e-Book is now on sale!

Rest...

2007-11-09T11:11:00.000-05:00

"We live in a very tense society. We are pulled apart... and we all need to learn how to pull ourselves together.... I think that at least part of the answer lies in solitude." - Helen Hayes

Rest. That's what I think my body needed this week. I came down with a head cold that my loving son decided he needed to share with me. I started the week doing my usual routine, feeling a little rundown but in overall good spirits. Then the cold hit. I felt like I was bogged down, like suddenly I was in a groggy fog - not feeling like doing anything. Housework has suffered, my exercise has ceased, just an overwhelming need to sleep and rest.

Sometimes I think we need that - a time to just relax and regroup. A refreshment comes with rest, a time of reflection and possibly strategy for the future. But this is not the same rest that is talked about in Proverbs:

"A little extra sleep, a little more slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest and poverty will pounce on you like a bandit; scarcity will attack you like an armed robber." - Proverbs 6:10-11, NLT

The rest talked about above is that of laziness. The rest of recuperation and regeneration is different than that of lax laziness. Rest for a short time but then get back to the program. Rest is good for the body, mind, & soul in limited quantities. Any longer than that and it becomes a detriment to our spiritual, mental, & physical health...

"Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul." - John Muir

Matty V.
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
"Dead Man Walking: A Weight Loss Journey" e-Book is now on sale!

Mediocrity...

2007-11-02T11:38:00.000-04:00

"Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world." - Lily Tomlin

I heard somewhere that a rut is just a grave with the ends kicked out. Do you hate the "daily grind", the "rat race", the "hum drum existence"? In our weight loss journey, this is called a "plateau" - no weight gain/no weight loss. I hate it and I am sure those that experience it hate it as well.

We need to use this time, this feeling of mediocrity as a staging for daring to change - do something great, something challenging, something out of the ordinary. If we are not comfortable or like where we are in life, then we need to make a change. Dare to dream, dare to excel, dare to fly in the face of conformity and comfort.

I rally today to plan out a break from the mediocre. You and I were destined for more than that!

"Mediocrity is a hand-rail." - Charles Louis de Secondat

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
"Dead Man Walking: A Weight Loss Journey" e-Book is now on sale!

Halloween...

2007-10-26T14:35:00.000-04:00

"There is nothing that gives more assurance than a mask." - Colette

The above statement is true, we tend to be more confident hiding our "true" selves behind a mask or illusion for fear of being ridiculed. I've hidden behind many masks and illusions over the years, portraying myself as the "funny fat guy" or the "trusted 3rd wheel".

We all could benefit from taking off our masks, tear down our illusions, and just contemplate our own person for a while. Get to know our "true" selves, learn to like our inadequacies, our quirks, the things that make us unique instead of trying to fit in with the world.

I feel the need to do this myself. I've been putting on heirs and have been trying to be something/someone I am not to try and fit in. But I can no longer deny who I am and if others cannot connect with me because of it - so be it.

We are all beautiful people on the inside and I have faith in knowing that if we truly believe that, the beauty on the inside will begin to emerge on the outside...

"When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,May luck be yours on Halloween." - Author Unknown

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
"Dead Man Walking: A Weight Loss Journey" e-Book is now on sale!

Vanity...

2007-10-19T09:16:00.000-04:00

"Vanity is so secure in the heart of man that everyone wants to be admired: even I who write this, and you who read this." - Blaise Pascal

Struggling with this myself. Vanity. Who would have thought that me, myself, I would be struggling with vanity? I guess I never had anything to be vain about appearance-wise. I was a 500+lb guy with a limited wardrobe and no real sense of style.

Now with losing almost half my bodyweight, I am seeking out the "hip" clothing from "cool" designers and clothing stores. I drool over getting deals on Polo, Nautica, American Eagle, & Hollister clothing. Sometimes I feel like a kid in a candy store when I see clothes in MY size.

I need to rein things in a bit. I am on this lifestyle journey for one reason - to get healthy and inspire others to do the same. I did not choose this change to be able to flaunt it, but rather to be a beacon to others that they too can change their lives for the better.

I need to teach myself this lesson, it's not just about me - it's about others as well...

"The surest cure for vanity is loneliness." - Thomas Wolfe

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
"Dead Man Walking: A Weight Loss Journey" e-Book is now on sale!

Persistence...

2007-10-12T13:43:00.000-04:00

"There is no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream." - Author Unknown

I ran my first 8k race this past weekend. I have entered a few 5k races, I jog 5k 4 days a week, and I have even pushed my self a couple of times to hit 7k. 8k was a stretch for me, I was nervous and scared. They had different starting positions for those that could run a mile in 2min all the way to 10min. I run a mile in about 12min, which is better than last year.

By mile 3 my body wanted to quit. People were passing me, most of them were already on their way back to the finish line. Then the hill came. A steep hill down, cut across a few streets, a steep hill back up. My mind was screaming at me to stop. But my spirit persisted. My legs felt like jelly, but I persisted. People were passing me, but I persisted.

I ran 8k (5mi) in 63min 42sec, the fastest I have ever run before. My 7k jaunts took 70min, I smashed that to hell. I ended up 8th for my age group, and my family was there rooting for me at the end of the race. It was great.

I passed people along the way that quit running and walked. "Desperate house-moms", the "Macho-I-Was-In-The-Military-Back-In-The-Day-I-Can-Handle-8k" older guys, even teenagers. I passed teenagers that had given up. A 270lb fat guy passed teenagers in an 8k race???

Persistence is important, but it is good to know when to stop. The old adage "Winners never quit" is untrue. "Winners KNOW when to quit..."

"I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday." - Author Unknown

Matty
www.iweighedmorethanjared.com
"Dead Man Walking: A Weight Loss Journey" e-Book is now available!